Caslon21000 saidHA! You kids should be ecstactic with the life you have now. You have no idea of the isolation older gays grew in. NONE! But I hope you find a bf.
This makes me sad. There are times when I feel lonely, I can only imagine what the older generation went through.
I didn't know another gay person growing up. And there was no private way like the Internet to find out about being gay.* And there was nothing positive being said. Somehow I knew about being homosexual. I knew I was ok and the world was wrong. I knew to keep it hidden. Back then it wasn't ok to be gay. No one in society would stand up for you....this was even before Stonewall realize. It was still listed as an illness.
*it has occured to me that younger people probably have never even thought about, never mind realize, how when one was at home, how cut off from everyone you were. Only the telephone to contact each other. No computers with emails, Internet, and Facebook. Or smartphones with dings and beeps when messages came in. No researching stuff on the interment. And news was on 3 networks between 6 and 7 PM. "And that's the way it is." ...go google who used to say that.
Never in those days would you think that even one other person felt EXACTLY about it as you did, as if you yourself wrote that.
The only gay people that stood out were the stereotypical kind that you knew you weren't. You knew you were gay but you definitely weren't at all like 'them.' You were like a drop floating in a stormy sea, keeping float but without a satisfactory destination (sexually).
Don't worry about never having a relationship yet. Enjoy life, do your thing, and the pieces will eventually set in their proper place. Also remember 'trial and error' always plays its' part in life. Be accepting of that and use it as an extremely important learning opportunity.