What do you do with a friend who manages to consistently piss you off?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:11 AM GMT
    IceBuckets said
    thatirishbastard said
    IceBuckets saidWhat do you do? You cut him out of your life.


    I disagree. Honesty can hurt, but it's not harmful. Let the man know what he's doing to piss ye off. Let him know as he's doing it. Let him know that you feel disrespected in terms of the friendship. He doesn't have to change, but he should change how he treats YOU if he wants to remain your friend.

    He may not even know how much his behaviour constantly irritates ye.

    I've had friends who annoyed me to death until I took a break for a few months. We stayed in contact with texts and phone calls. Then we saw each other again and took it casually.

    Cutting someone out of your life usually does irreparable damage to relationships of any type. Make sure you can live your life without this man with no regrets before you do it.

    I'm sorry but this is not a case of "my friend is doing a series of things that annoy me." This guy is pissing the OP off and never fails. He is unable to be around him. Usually, when it's just a thing thats annoying, you can be around that person but then it's outside the "hanging out situation" it's bad. This is a clear inability to cooperate with one another.


    Also keep in mind that we know nothing about the situation besides what the OP has chosen to tell us. When I want to vent about my mates I list all the negative qualities and everything that pisses me off. People ask me why I'm even friends with the bloke, since I'm making them out to be a terrible person.

    People with no redeeming qualities are few and far between. Michelle Bachmann comes to mind. There has to be some reason that the OP continuously hangs out with this bloke when he knows about the annoying qualities. And to be blunt, his complaints are not really high on my list of 'worst things my mates could do.'
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    T.I.B.
    Also keep in mind that we know nothing about the situation besides what the OP has chosen to tell us. When I want to vent about my mates I list all the negative qualities and everything that pisses me off. People ask me why I'm even friends with the bloke, since I'm making them out to be a terrible person.

    People with no redeeming qualities are few and far between. Michelle Bachmann comes to mind. There has to be some reason that the OP continuously hangs out with this bloke when he knows about the annoying qualities. And to be blunt, his complaints are not really high on my list of 'worst things my mates could do.'



    well let's talk about that. Yes we go out and have fun and laugh and joke around. It' also good to have that 'going out buddy.' I've had going out buddies since I started clubbing. I never really had groups of friends. I have that 1 guy I go out to the bars with every weekend. He's sweet and understanding at all other times, but I've seen his daytime personality when he's upset and it's not much better.

    The difference between him and all the rest is he claims to be just friends, but is 1 foot in1 foot out. He grabs my hand and walks around the club. We've been seen kissing. We've messed around a little bit in bed. Just a little bit, nothing measureable. I've told him before, I don't do that with just friends. He needs to figure it out.

    As for complaints...I haven't even listed all of them. There's the blasting music til 8 am some nights, grabbing my steering wheel which I told him if he ever does again I will drop him off no matter where we're at or what time it is, drinking all of my wine/liquor in 1 night, everything under the sun. I know...you're why I put up with it, but don't a lot of us put up with shit from someone at some point? But you analyze it with others to see if it's worth dealing with.
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidI stopped talking to her and we've driven her out of the house at this point. She'll have to get her own cheese grater to shave her twat with.


    was the fight over a cheese grater? lol....
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    Nov 20, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    It sounds like you WANT this drama, like you revel in it. The whole "it's too hard to say no even though I know it will be a disaster attitude" proves that. JUST SAY NO. It's not that hard. If that means you have to find a new friend, so be it. If that means that for the time being you might actually have to find something else interesting to do on the weekend, find something else to do. It's really not that hard.
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    Nov 20, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    thenes saidIt sounds like you WANT this drama, like you revel in it. The whole "it's too hard to say no even though I know it will be a disaster attitude" proves that. JUST SAY NO. It's not that hard. If that means you have to find a new friend, so be it. If that means that for the time being you might actually have to find something else interesting to do on the weekend, find something else to do. It's really not that hard.


    I agree with you...but I don't REALLY want the drama. Like I really don't like dealing with that every weekend. All my previous going out buddies did not carry on that way. We'd go out, have fun and then go home TOGETHER on our separate ways at the end of the night...it wasn't any blurry lines or anything like that either.
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    Nov 20, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    You have your work cut out for you. Lesson 1: You can't control the actions of others. Lesson 2: If you do something with set expectations, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed. Lesson 3: Don't be a moron. If stuff pisses you off constantly, either take a different view on it, or, remove yourself from the situation.

    Reality: There's 7 BILLION folks in The World. Don't waste time on folks you don't get along with. If you do, you're plain stupid, in denial, or mentally ill. You only control yourself, to any real extent. You need to embrace that notion. It will serve you well.
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    Nov 20, 2012 2:16 AM GMT
    The kind of person you have described is NOT a friend. Show some self-respect and let this person go from your life.
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    Nov 20, 2012 2:35 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    Reality: There's 7 BILLION folks in The World. Don't waste time on folks you don't get along with. If you do, you're plain stupid, in denial, or mentally ill. You only control yourself, to any real extent. You need to embrace that notion. It will serve you well.


    Reality: I can't be in every part of the world all at once. 75% of those 7 billion are straight, 45% of that are married and straight, 30% are gay and partnered. 1.5% live in my city, 0.05% are gay and single and available, 0.02% are interested in having a gay Black friend rather than just hooking up, 0.0000000001% to fucking infinity of that 7 billion end up being someone to hangout with regularly. Which leaves about 7 people in the course of many years who you hangout with for over a year or two. 7 people. That's reality. Now if you're talking about hookups? about 0.0000001 of 7 billion= 700 in a lifetime. And if you're doing more than 1.5 hookups per month over the course of 40 years, that's a minimum estimate. Don't let me get technical!

    But I see your point, I know I shouldn't be wasting my time with people.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 20, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Did-Someone-Call-for-the-Drama-Llama.jpg
  • FireDoor211

    Posts: 1030

    Nov 20, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    I would buy a crossbow...
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    Nov 20, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidSo I have a friend who I've danced around dating with that I've known for several months.

    So you have a friend you're attracted to, but only known for a few months? Sounds like a "Friend With Benefits" at the moment!! icon_wink.gif

    thatirishbastard said
    Also keep in mind that we know nothing about the situation besides what the OP has chosen to tell us.
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    well let's talk about that. Yes we go out and have fun and laugh and joke around. He grabs my hand and walks around the club. We've been seen kissing. We've messed around a little bit in bed. Just a little bit, nothing measureable. I've told him before, I don't do that with just friends. He needs to figure it out.

    So with the additional info it seems that he's not interested in what you would like to happen.....and you "don't do that with just friends".
    I'm thinking you already have that "figured out" and need to move on. Unless he's going to have an epiphany and become what you want?!? Probably NOT!!

    Here's a saying I use that may fit your scenario:
    "Been there....Done that...Got the t-shirt. And now BURNED IT!!"
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 20, 2012 3:51 PM GMT
    I'd cut all ties and save myself the headache and stress!
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    Nov 20, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    If people cause headaches in your life, tell them and if they dont' change, cut them out. Thats my policy and I've been headache free for years.
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    Nov 20, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    Keith51 saidgetta hold of the people in jersey to take him for a car ride.......a long car ride..


    Yeah, call in a power couple like Tony and Carmella Soprano .... make him see the error of his ways. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    RAISE YOUR STANDARDS !!

    He sounds like a child . . .
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    Nov 20, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    Eat them.
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    Dec 18, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    he sounds like a sociopath, they are riddled with weird displacement shit like that. I knew one in high school and before i knew it, my friendship with him had really messed up my life for a while, just go and dont look back. he doesnt have feelings like regular people, so if you make him angry he wont think anything of totally fucking you up in a really sadistic way.
  • roadbikeRob

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    Dec 18, 2012 7:14 PM GMT
    Just smack him upside the head. That might send him a clear message that you are sick and damned tired of him pissing you off all the time.
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    Dec 18, 2012 7:17 PM GMT
    He sounds like a nightmare - be civil, continue being his acquaintance but don't let your guard down.
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    Dec 18, 2012 7:54 PM GMT
    ATXnative saidhe sounds like a sociopath, they are riddled with weird displacement shit like that. I knew one in high school and before i knew it, my friendship with him had really messed up my life for a while, just go and dont look back. he doesnt have feelings like regular people, so if you make him angry he wont think anything of totally fucking you up in a really sadistic way.


    I like this definition: Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others.


    ...I'm curious really quick if you don't mind, how did it mess up your life for awhile?

    Oh I wanted to mention couple weeks or so he managed to piss me off for some BS once again. I was meeting him at the airport to return a rental car I borrowed for Thanksgiving week. I was coming from another state and he kept rushing me to return the car at the airport because he had to work early morning. He was being rude, condescending, just plain stupid.

    What's not understandable is the fact that for the past 8 months I've been his designated driver and picked his ass up. All times of the night. I told him straight up, if I get there and you leave or don't pick me up...don't ever call me again asking for a ride because I won't do it.

    Then, that same night he gets apologetic and texts me after, "I'm sorry I was so hard on you, I'm glad you're back". That week...I blocked him number for a couple of days, but then once the weekend came around I caved in and unblocked and sure enough he texted me asking to hangout icon_mad.gif
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    Dec 18, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    If i got this correct, you have had two separate posts about this guy, starting over a month ago, and you are still in the same situation, and haven't made any progress toward a resolution? There's no time like the present.
  • roadbikeRob

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    Dec 18, 2012 8:44 PM GMT
    If smacking your friend upside the head doesn't work, than give him a good, swift boot in the ass. That should end the drama with him.
  • Cygnus

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    Dec 18, 2012 9:00 PM GMT
    We accept the love we think we deserve.

    How much love do you deserve?

    How much love do your actions say you deserve?