I don't know what is wrong with me

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 20, 2012 11:13 PM GMT
    1- Chemistry.

    2- More or less, you're sexually inexperienced. Gay men can feel that.

    3- You're a good on paper guy.
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    Nov 20, 2012 11:33 PM GMT
    Caslon22000 said
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being your natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif

    Oh yeah take his advice. He reeled his guy in at 46!


    boys......BOYS!!!
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:47 AM GMT
    Just be yourself much lik the great advice was given earlier. If people cant deal then its fine move on. Eventually you meet people who like you for you and don't want you to change. Those are some keepers lol
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    dude sameeeee I meet people online and they're always like "awh you're so hot, and you're really cute, and have a great personality." and then we meet and have a great time and then that's the last I hear from them. Ugh idk.
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:51 AM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with everyone else.

    uXnN1.gif
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    Nov 21, 2012 5:58 AM GMT
    "If everyone liked you then there is something wrong. Being your normal, everyday self is often a full time job, and if you're doing it right-- not everyone will like you." -Detailmen


    "Sometimes the chemistry it's not there. Pictures and skype cannot replace the in person experience." -borgiaczar

    "Some guys have this thought that when a guy is just coming out they have a process they need to go through before they are dating material. I happen to agree. Also these guys may be looking for more of a hook up, and are afraid that you being new will want more, or grow attached. It's not to hurt you, but to they have most likely experienced this themselves, & don't want to go down that road. Hang in there, I'm pretty sure it's not you. The coming out process is more than just acknowledging who you are. It's almost like a second adolescence. Just be open, have fun, enjoy the ride, & you'll do just fine."
    -VieniQui



    Really great advice icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 21, 2012 7:23 AM GMT
    Read: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:42 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidRead: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.


    Just downloaded the book and will read it when i have time. Thanks everyone for your advice. I just picked up a couple more books to read, a new routine at the gym from RJ and going to start swimming next week. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 21, 2012 3:54 PM GMT
    Caslon22000 said
    yourname2000 saidMaybe the thing that's wrong with you, the thing that's causing you all these problems, the situation that is untenable and can't continue without ultimately suffocating you is.....that you think that something is wrong with you. icon_confused.gif If guys don't "get you", then it is AWESOME that they are "self deporting" their asses out of your life, hahahha.

    Keep being your natural incredible self....eventually you'll figure out the frequency that causes like-minded individuals to see you for icon you are, the icon that each of us is....and it's those guys you want to pay attention to.

    Radiate...your man will find you. icon_wink.gif

    Oh yeah take his advice. He reeled his guy in at 46!
    He's not lying. You can attract the good people you like, by being the person you'd like to be with... without changing yourself in the process. There is a middle ground between the two. Maybe the way you portray yourself isn't the same as what you think you're doing. Have you ever recorded yourself audibly or visually with a camera, doing your every day routines? Have you heard yourself talk to people? Maybe what you think is coming out, isn't? Give it a shot, even get a trusted friend involved in some of it. This will change the way you see yourself, and others see you.
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 482

    Nov 21, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    What was your conversations like BEFORE you met in person? Were they just your run of the mill conversations about what you do and where you're from etc or was there more - naked on camera? If so, that may have set the tone and if you didn't "follow up" when you met in person, the other guy, who may have been expecting more, walked away thinking you were a tease. I think it's good to set expectations before you meet. If the cam conversations were straight up then the meeting should be a natural follow up. Both of you should know each other and have a good idea of how the face to face might go.
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    onefortified saidThere's nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with everyone else.

    uXnN1.gif
    We can ALL be this person. Just not the exact same version. icon_wink.gificon_razz.gificon_cool.gif
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    Nov 21, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    jayatl56 saidWhat was your conversations like BEFORE you met in person? Were they just your run of the mill conversations about what you do and where you're from etc or was there more - naked on camera? If so, that may have set the tone and if you didn't "follow up" when you met in person, the other guy, who may have been expecting more, walked away thinking you were a tease. I think it's good to set expectations before you meet. If the cam conversations were straight up then the meeting should be a natural follow up. Both of you should know each other and have a good idea of how the face to face might go.


    It was just normal conversation like I would talk to my friend. But yeah as in example, I met this one guy online and he texted me and stuffs and we skype like alot. I would say 7 hours or so per day for like a week, we talked about everything, like places we traveled , foods we like, how we came out (which I was asking since i wasn't out at that time), our family etc.... he visited ( no sex involve just cuddle) and we went on dates ( at first i thought it wasn't a date but he paid...so i assumed it is) but then we saw each other 3 more times, then i tried to hold his hands and he just freaked out and said "We're just friend". So yeah i wasn't a tease, and no we've never seen each other naked, in picture or real life.
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    Nov 26, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    s1lovesyou said
    jayatl56 saidWhat was your conversations like BEFORE you met in person? Were they just your run of the mill conversations about what you do and where you're from etc or was there more - naked on camera? If so, that may have set the tone and if you didn't "follow up" when you met in person, the other guy, who may have been expecting more, walked away thinking you were a tease. I think it's good to set expectations before you meet. If the cam conversations were straight up then the meeting should be a natural follow up. Both of you should know each other and have a good idea of how the face to face might go.


    It was just normal conversation like I would talk to my friend. But yeah as in example, I met this one guy online and he texted me and stuffs and we skype like alot. I would say 7 hours or so per day for like a week, we talked about everything, like places we traveled , foods we like, how we came out (which I was asking since i wasn't out at that time), our family etc.... he visited ( no sex involve just cuddle) and we went on dates ( at first i thought it wasn't a date but he paid...so i assumed it is) but then we saw each other 3 more times, then i tried to hold his hands and he just freaked out and said "We're just friend". So yeah i wasn't a tease, and no we've never seen each other naked, in picture or real life.


    7 hours...........................wow that is too much. It is suffocating i would think. An hour of talking is enough even with just friends. Some times people get attach too fast, which is ok but you have to tell yourself to stop that....I just think you talked so much with each other and there will be nothing to learn....it is good to be honest but people now a day will get bored once they know everything about you.
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    Nov 26, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    hahah yeah we learned so much about each other, like i know what he likes, i know what type of foods he likes or where we wanted to go, pretty much almost everything ( except sensitive topic). Yeah well i think i got attached to quickly, mainly because he was my first guy crush. Leaned my lesson, and i'm taking thing slow.
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    Nov 26, 2012 10:27 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.













    There is nothing wrong with you. But something wrong with those that you meet.

    chating, cam to cam, email exchanges, phone exchanges doesnt mean anything.

    I met a guy from here which i clearly regret, but none the less im not the 'standard on RJ'. Im not a muscle god i will clearly be "ignored"

    we can eat icecream and chat sometime.
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    Nov 26, 2012 11:17 PM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.


    The same happened to me a lot and it really depends on what you are saying and doing. Walk us through exactly how these in person interactions go.
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    Nov 26, 2012 11:29 PM GMT
    onefortified saidThere's nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with everyone else.

    uXnN1.gif


    WHAT!!! How dare you use my gif!!!!

    I use that one whenever talking about my sexual conquests....
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Nov 26, 2012 11:50 PM GMT
    What makes you think there is something wrong with you?

    It's probably not you, its them.
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    Nov 27, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.


    The same happened to me a lot and it really depends on what you are saying and doing. Walk us through exactly how these in person interactions go.


    We went out to dinner and he took me to a street festival and we just walk around downtown for 2 hours. We talked, joked and I had a lot of fun and i thought everything was going well.
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    Nov 27, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.


    Refer to this thread.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2822668/

    You could easily be the guy who does not appear like in their photos and your "date" was not impressed.
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    Nov 27, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    Kel_ said
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.


    Refer to this thread.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2822668/

    You could easily be the guy who does not appear like in their photos and your "date" was not impressed.


    I don't know, cuz he told me I was good looking and we went on 4 dates. At first i thought that too, but why would he go out with me after we met once?
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    Nov 27, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    Kel_ said
    s1lovesyou saidSo, I'm pretty new to this. I was in denial for a long time and finally came out to myself this summer and then just came out to a few closefriends. I consider myself as somewhat not bad looking and i'm pretty funny too. The problem is that, i always get a lot of message and ended up talking to alot of people online and we skype and stuffs and everyone seems like it's going well. However, after hanging out with me once, it seems like everyone just stop talking to me or just ignore me. I don't know what is wrong with me sigh. Maybe i'm just not good in person. Although i thought we had a really good time.


    Refer to this thread.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2822668/

    You could easily be the guy who does not appear like in their photos and your "date" was not impressed.


    Yeah sorry it's not once lmao it's 4 times....dont' know why i wrote once.