Feminine Gay Men: Yay or Nay?

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    Nov 23, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    I am actually attracted to some fem gay men sexually.. The very pretty young ones. I like to dominate them in bed. Of course there are some women I woukd have sex with too on a purely physical level. But that list is verrrrry narrow. And I'm nit actively seeking new recruits
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    Nov 23, 2012 12:47 PM GMT
    Friends? absolutely. Dating wise? No. Certain mannerisms are a turn off for me. There's nothing I can do about it. Just the way I'm wired. I don't think it's wrong to be feminine by any means, but we all like what we like. Right?
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    Nov 23, 2012 12:50 PM GMT
    Yay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex
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    Nov 23, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    gross
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    Nov 23, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    if you are "straight-acting" you better be fucking women!
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Nov 23, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidNow personally I have nothing against them and although most of the one I have met dont peak my fancy I have met a few I liked. However I know some men who feel like dating a feminine man defeats the purpose so to speak.

    Could you date a man who was extremely feminine? How feminine is too feminine for you?


    No. Prefer butch.
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    McQueen saidawjeeznotthisshitagain.jpg
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I especially hate skinny white ones that wear baseball caps.

    Sick.
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    bedtimestories saidYay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex


    Ah, yes. The classic, "most masculine guys are faking it" post. Some do, but in time you can always figure out the real masculine guys from the fakers. I don't understand why it's a big deal if someone likes masculine or feminine guys. Usually, the ones who get most upset about this are the guys who are less masculine and feel rejected by the guys they like. This happens with guys who are prefer guys outside of their ethnicity, or non-muscle guys who are into muscle guys. The important thing is to forget about those who aren't interested, and find the ones who are interested. Life is too short for hang-ups.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 23, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    They irritate the fuck out of me.

    Now, I hope this isn't every one, but it has been every one I've ever met. Every effeminate gay man I've come in contact with was a bitchy little queen. The whole snap thing, duck face, back talking attitude. Every one I've met. And that's what pissis me off about them more than anything else.

    In fact, I think I could categorize the gay men I've met into two categories: the normal, masculine guys that you'd never guess, and the annoying, mouthy bitches.

    Unfortunate, I know, but that's been my experience, and it's likely colored my perspective.
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:31 PM GMT
    When I consider some of the strong, loyal, women I've known and been close to....how they communicated with directness and clarity, did what they said or were expected to do, quickly apologized when they were wrong or hurtful in anger, and were always willing to match, for me, the respect and consideration I showed them....I wish there were more feminine gay men out there.
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:31 PM GMT
    IslamicBottom said
    redsoxfan791 saidFriends? absolutely. Dating wise? No. Certain mannerisms are a turn off for me. There's nothing I can do about it. Just the way I'm wired. I don't think it's wrong to be feminine by any means, but we all like what we like. Right?


    I guess it is wrong after all.
    But at least fems are your best friends icon_smile.gif


    It's not wrong. People like what they like. I can be friends with anyone. I don't care if you're feminine, Republican, etc. As long as you're a good person and we have something in common, I can be friends with someone.

    Sexual relationships are different. We all have certain things us as humans, and everyone is different. For me, one of the biggest things that attract me to a guy are genuinely masculine characteristics. I don't care if someone I'm with has a few less than masculine qualities. Everyone has them. That said, if they're not predominantly masculine, it's tough for me to make that sexual or deep emotional connection with a guy.

    We all have our types. While there are some characteristics where we can make concessions, there are others where it's very tough. This happens to be one of them for me.
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    Nov 23, 2012 4:31 PM GMT
    speciesbeing saidif you are "straight-acting" you better be fucking women!


    amen to that. Every time i read "straight-acting" or worse, "str8 actin" in a profile i can't help but roll my eyes. I haven't given a crap what people thought in years.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 23, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    bedtimestories saidYay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex


    Is it not also possible that the effeminate ones are faking it for some gain too? Maybe the attention, maybe because it lets you get away with things no one else would, and maybe a lot of other reasons.

    Not saying its true, just saying you need to consider the possibility.
  • GAYBIGMACHODU...

    Posts: 1525

    Nov 23, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    I'm a man not a girl or sissy boy or feminine guy.I'm a man's man.I hate all
    girly guys,all feminine guys and all sissy boys and I want nothing to do with
    them.Real men are masculine men not feminine.I will only socialize with
    other masculine men like myself.I'm not into feminine guys,girly guys,sissy
    boys,bad boys at all.I'm into men not girls or women.I'm gay masculine man not bisexual man or straight man.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 23, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    GAYBIGMACHODUDE1972 saidI'm a man not a girl or sissy boy or feminine guy.I'm a man's man.I hate all
    girly guys,all feminine guys and all sissy boys and I want nothing to do with
    them.Real men are masculine men not feminine.I will only socialize with
    other masculine men like myself.I'm not into feminine guys,girly guys,sissy
    boys,bad boys at all.I'm into men not girls or women.I'm gay masculine man not bisexual man or straight man.


    Wow. Didn't think I'd read something so blatantly judgmental and damning on this site

    Oh, wait...
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    Nov 23, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with fems but I'm more attracted to guys more masculine like myself. The fems act like girls and I'm not into girls so much so I don't see how a fem guy could be offended by that lol. With that said, I do find some fem guys attractive. I feel like I could have more in common with a masculine guy.

    For example, I think fems have it easy in some ways because people can tell that they're gay and I think they can have an easier time meeting other gay guys. For a masculine guy like myself it isn't easy to meet any other guys in real life outside the internet when you feel like you have to hide your sexuality from the ignorant people in your family.

    The life of a closeted, masculine man and that of a fem man is very different in ways. A younger, fem guy wanted to date me before and our conversations on the phone were weird lol. He was obsessed with Riahnna lol. He was a cool guy but he mentioned dressing up as a girl and that freaked me the fuck out! I know they're not all like that but still lol.




  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Nov 23, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    IslamicBottom said
    Medjai said
    bedtimestories saidYay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex


    Is it not also possible that the effeminate ones are faking it for some gain too? Maybe the attention, maybe because it lets you get away with things no one else would, and maybe a lot of other reasons.

    Not saying its true, just saying you need to consider the possibility.


    Feminine Guys get away with very little.
    There is nothing to gain being fem.
    Just reality.


    Really? I see them getting away with things that would be inappropriate for anyone else to say...

    To be fair, of course a masculine guy would not see benefit in win effeminate. That's why you are the way you are. I'm sure an effeminate man would see things quite differently.
  • FirestormDavi...

    Posts: 341

    Nov 23, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    From a universal level I love all humans on a brotherly/sisterly level. If you'd rather I call you my brosis, that is cool. All through school I was friends with all, and of the ladies appreciated the butch girls more because they didn't get grossed out by me as much, or call me weird.

    With men I feel a unity that is from our core operating system. I had a dream that illustrates this; in my simplification of the universe, men are royal blue and women are red. In the dream I laid on a grass field watching the stars, and above me two spinning galaxies appeared--one red, one blue. The red one faded to black and the blue galaxy engulfed me.

    My older bro was the first non-online human I told about my man love. He died last year from complications of 10 kidney surgeries for some rare blood buildup, so I can say this without fear of his embarrassment. The first man porn I ever saw were in his files. He maintained that they were collateral download from his other porn viewing, but we're talking specific movie files. I can fall in love with females but not sexually, and I was being driven mad by this at the time I told him. I left high school (sophomore year) and was about to drown myself in a creek, and then heard my dad saying "Never give up," which he always says. The last person I saw before leaving my school that day was my friend Andy, the lacrosse goalie I defended who liked to ram his goalie stick in my ass when I was close enough, haha. Anyway after I heard my dad's voice I then felt a wave of hope and decided to tell my bro in case he was feeling the same way. He got back from college the next month and I told him we had to go for a jog because I had to tell him something. When we got outside, he said "Let me guess, you got a girl pregnant." I laughed and said no. He jokingly said "You're gay," and I said yeah. And he said "Really?!" And showing how lucky I am to have had a bro like this, his next response was "Well you know I love you no matter what." He then said that if he was, he wouldn't have the balls to tell anyone.

    This I use as a test sample of all men. It leads me to believe that there are enough bisexuals out there that if the culture offers enough established manworthy movies and music, these men that also love men will feel free to choose without the risk of ridicule, because a path will exist for the men's men to trot. Whereas now only those with the strongest backbones swim against the stream to meet another guy, this would ease many developmental horrors for homos, making more well-adjusted men ready to have families and smile wide.

    When I'm aroused, men are all that exist. I quit playing football because I didn't want to get a boner in the locker room, switched to lacrosse. On the lacrosse field, I'd get so aroused by the stench of lacrosse pads, the shafts everywhere, the balls in the sack, the dudes in their prime, that I had to imagine sky-scraper tall women belly dancing to keep myself from getting a boner. Now my mind games are such that I don't even have to think about females to keep my guy sleeping. When I'm done working out, I'm one of the guys that doesn't wear a swimsuit to the shower, and I think of the guys as fellows who open doors for you, nod, say some words if there's stimuli.

    Seeing such a drastic change from that day leaving school to drown myself, 6 years later, my family knows, my fellow students, coworkers know, and all are adjusted and love me as much as anyone did before. Because of this, yesterday at both Thanksgivings (mom's side and dad's side) while looking at my family talking I experienced a feeling of fulfillment so powerful that I can only describe it as if my heart were a plant bud that turned gold and I was feeling the dew drip, causing ecstasy.

    I can't wait until I get this feeling from observing the healthy men loving men in music and movies all over the world culture map. I'll be trailblazing this arena with my music, film and sculpture/paintings. From hearing a lot of you other niggers I know there's a global audience for manfare, and comments like "Nay" "Feminine is instant boner kill" and something along the lines of "I want my guy to grunt, spit and break bolders with his feet" are test samples of the global population, not even counting the bisexuals in denial. Imagine a future where guys are equally as expected to turn to each other as their co-eds when high school hits. This is the way of nature, and will do wonders for the population crisis.

    Wherever you fall on the spectrum, represent.
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    Nov 23, 2012 5:56 PM GMT
    redsoxfan791 said
    bedtimestories saidYay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex


    Ah, yes. The classic, "most masculine guys are faking it" post. Some do, but in time you can always figure out the real masculine guys from the fakers. I don't understand why it's a big deal if someone likes masculine or feminine guys. Usually, the ones who get most upset about this are the guys who are less masculine and feel rejected by the guys they like. This happens with guys who are prefer guys outside of their ethnicity, or non-muscle guys who are into muscle guys. The important thing is to forget about those who aren't interested, and find the ones who are interested. Life is too short for hang-ups.


    Hi,

    I've never mentioned in my post that I believe that 100 % of masculine gay men are insecure. My comment is only directed at the gay men who are pretending and are insecure about showing feminine qualities. I never meant to stereotype a whole group of men.

    I also that you dont think that I am insecure and upset at masculine men and feel rejected. I know who I am and that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, neither do I want to be.

    I agree with you that it's important to focus on finding people who are attracted to you and not get caught up in those who aren't. All the best =)
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    Nov 23, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    tautomer saidIf someone sets off my gaydar, that's fine. Most of us will cause that to happen. I actually like a little hint of "fem". To me what it means is you can tell that the individual is gay. If I can't "see" it, it actually makes me a bit anxious, because I almost don't believe it. If someone sets off my gaydar so strongly that the needle pings and breaks, then it isn't going to work either.

    I think video aids are a bit better:

    This is someone who you can tell is gay. I would not consider this person "straight acting". This I am attracted to.



    This... I am not attracted to. There's too much effeminate qualities coming from him, and I am turned off.



    ^^^
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    Nov 23, 2012 6:03 PM GMT
    Medjai said
    bedtimestories saidYay....any time of the day for the feminine men who are being themselves and are proud of it and refuse to cave into stereotypical pressures of our patriarchal society.

    There's nothing more alluring and attractive than a human being who isnt afraid of showing their inner selves. Continue to be yourselves my amazing role models and lead the way to equality, diversity and acceptance.

    Let me reverse this now....

    Nay... any time of the day for the "pretending to be manly" and "str8 acting bro" men who are scared of accepting their feminine qualities and put up a superficial and often cartoonish front of hyper masculinity to compensate for their lack of self acceptance and the desire to fit in. I hope that these men will eventually work through their issues and find happiness and inner peace. It's hard to be able to genuinely love anyone if you don't love yourself.

    -Alex


    Is it not also possible that the effeminate ones are faking it for some gain too? Maybe the attention, maybe because it lets you get away with things no one else would, and maybe a lot of other reasons.

    Not saying its true, just saying you need to consider the possibility.


    Hi,

    I've never said in my post that I believe that 100 % of feminine men are genuinely being themselves. My post is only directed at the men who are being themselves and aren't insecure about their femininity, despite all the criticism and negativity that it can attract.

    I've ment men who are very flamboyant, in your face with that so called "fierce honey boo child" attitude. I personally don't mind it, but I understand that it can be a bit too much to handle. Sometimes, It does feel like it is an act/defensive mechanism.

    There are different variations of masculine and feminine energy within people (I'm focusing on the genuine people at the moment). I think that is what makes people interesting we should never try to generalise individuals too much. Comparing and judging is natural, but reducing people to stereotypes isn't beneficiary for anyone. All the best =)
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    Nov 23, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    I could if the were verse
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    Nov 23, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    GAYBIGMACHODUDE1972 saidI'm a man not a girl or sissy boy or feminine guy.I'm a man's man.I hate all
    girly guys,all feminine guys and all sissy boys and I want nothing to do with
    them.Real men are masculine men not feminine.I will only socialize with
    other masculine men like myself.I'm not into feminine guys,girly guys,sissy
    boys,bad boys at all.I'm into men not girls or women.I'm gay masculine man not bisexual man or straight man.


    You know, you sound like you're drowning. Except that instead of being in water, you seem too drowning in interalised homophobia and pre-concived notions of what a man/woman is supposed to be.

    Don't hate people because they're something you can't accept about yourself. You never know when one day you might that sissy boy's help. All the best to you =)
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    Nov 23, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    I am someone who people have said "I thought you were gay but I wasn't sure" when they first meet me. I'm not a bro or frat dude (imo they are so obnoxious and unattractive). I'm not feminine eother, but, I have my feminine qualities. I sometimes lean on one leg when standing. Sometimes I sit with one leg crossed over the other. I have lots of girlfeinds. My wrists can be a little loose but not velocoraptor style. And sometimes I just really like a hot dick up my ass from a dominant top.

    I also know how to fight, I get along with straight men fine, I was never bullied or called a fag in school, I am very real, so I am more of a yin yang when it comes to masc and fem. I think too many people focus on one aspect and they become very lost and blocked up by it.