Are You A Man's Man? Take This Quiz To See. :-)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    Are You a Guy?
    Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
    1 Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you
    are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
    friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
    device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
    supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
    eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You
    decide to:

    a Present it to the president of the United States.

    b Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.

    c Take it apart.

    2 As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss
    the most?

    a Innocence.

    b Idealism.

    c Cherry bombs.

    3 When is it okay to kiss another male in public?

    a When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for
    narrow-minded social conventions.

    b When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)

    c When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only
    really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you
    have to have him killed.

    4 What about hugging another male in public?

    a If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.

    b If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver. (And even in this case,
    you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food in this male's
    trachea! I am not in any way aroused!")

    c If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home
    run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that
    (1) He is legally within the base path, (2) Both of you are wearing
    protective cups, and (3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist
    hard enough to cause fractures.

    5 Complete this sentence:
    A funeral is a good time to...

    a ...remember the deceased and console his loved ones.

    b ...reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life.

    c ...tell the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer.

    6 In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

    a A cat.

    b A dog.

    c A dog that eats cats.

    7 You have been seeing a man for several years. He's attractive and
    intelligent, and you always enjoy being with him
    One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy--you're
    watching a football game; he's reading the papers-- when he suddenly,
    out of the clear blue sky, tells you that he thinks he really loves
    you, but he can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where
    your relationship is going. He says he's not asking whether you want
    to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of
    future together.
    What do you say?

    a That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you
    don't want to rush it.

    b That although you also have strong feelings for him, you cannot
    honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting
    commitment, and you don't want to hurt him by holding out false hope.

    c That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third and

    8 Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a man and you want to
    spend the rest of your life with him---sharing the joys and the sorrows,
    the triumphs and the tragedies, and all the adventures and opportunities
    that the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell him?

    a You take him to a nice restaurant and tell him after dinner.

    b You take him for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say his name, and
    when he turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing his hair and the
    stars in his eyes, you tell him

    c Tell him what?

    9 One weekday morning your partner wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to him is:

    a "Do they need to eat or anything?"

    b "They're in school already?"

    c "There are three of them?"

    10 When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

    a When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes
    so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for
    your legs.

    b When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has
    to be handled with tweezers.

    c It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks
    the garbage regularly in case somebody--and we are not naming names, but
    this would be his partner--is quietly trying to discard his underwear,
    which he is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more
    intimate relationship with it than with him.

    11 What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
    fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
    before they finally got to the Promised Land?

    a He was being tested.

    b He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
    finally got there.

    c He refused to ask directions.

    12 What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

    a Democracy.

    b Religion.

    c Remote control.

    How to Score:

    Give yourself one point for every time you picked answer "c." A real guy
    would score at least 10 on this test. In fact, a real guy would score at
    least 15, because he would get the special five-point bonus for knowing
    the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2012 10:51 PM GMT
    I guess I am not a man's man! Score -- 0
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2012 11:14 PM GMT
    Are You A Man's Man? Take This Quiz To See. :-)

    Quiz This.

  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 27, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    That was a good laugh. "Tell him what?" was my clear favorite!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    I am a man a farting, burping, drinking, hairy man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2012 12:12 AM GMT
    My score:

    My answers:

    Not the best quiz in my opinion, but whatever, it was kinda fun.