Sometimes I envy straight people

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    Dec 02, 2012 8:43 PM GMT
    Cash said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    MadeinMich said"Like I was saying with women its more about mental and emotional attraction and also how you approach it. "


    I find this to be true.


    Its easier to connect with women mentally. Its the reason why most of my friends are women or very effeminate men.


    It is also the reason you will remain alone


    Cha' know I fins it very ironic someone who looks like you is trying to tell me about why I'm alone. No offense but you look like what many gay men want. I'm sure there was a period when you didn't but you do now. And as an older gentlemen I would think you would understand how people can be incredibly shallow and not let you pass the gate.

    You're a white middle class man telling men that the society isn't the problem but I'm the problem. You are the society.


    My looks are secondary. ANYbody who knows Me will agree.

    I understad shllowness...I also understand getting beyond it.

    I am not middle class.

    As an OLDER GENTLEMAN You may wanna actually listin to Me.

    I never said you are a problem.

    Get a passport. and take whatever You have. And leave wherever You are.

    You are smart - it shows.

    But You are stuck in a place that gives nothing back to You.

    And it shows.



    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif




    One thing I agree with is that international travel can really boost your self esteem because people in other parts of the world are not as narrowminded as we are here in the US.

    The fact remains though that something is wrong with things HERE! and that has to change.


    what exacty needs to change dekiruman?


    What needs to change is how being white young and buff is the currency of the gay world.
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Dec 02, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    Cash said
    MadeinMich said[

    Who in the hell is this guy? That was insightful as hell. The OP couldn't had said it better!!!!

    another faceless "dude" weighs in.

    yay.


    Its funny how you totally avoided that insightful post and diverted to something as insignificant as my faceless pic. Perhaps you are afraid of looking deeper into that post because it would conflict with your narrow-minded deeply held views on this topic.


    I acknowledged the post..

    Have you read the post?

    The fact that you hide is NOT insignificant.

    read My posts "dude".

    I am hardly narow minded
    [/quote]

    My profile pic is hardly significant to the OP. It may be in another forum for another topic but not this one. You chose to ignore that post I was refering to and comment on my pic instead. That spoke volumes about how you react to ideas you find challenging you.
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    Dec 02, 2012 8:57 PM GMT
    Cash said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    MadeinMich said"Like I was saying with women its more about mental and emotional attraction and also how you approach it. "


    I find this to be true.


    Its easier to connect with women mentally. Its the reason why most of my friends are women or very effeminate men.


    It is also the reason you will remain alone


    Cha' know I fins it very ironic someone who looks like you is trying to tell me about why I'm alone. No offense but you look like what many gay men want. I'm sure there was a period when you didn't but you do now. And as an older gentlemen I would think you would understand how people can be incredibly shallow and not let you pass the gate.

    You're a white middle class man telling men that the society isn't the problem but I'm the problem. You are the society.


    My looks are secondary. ANYbody who knows Me will agree.

    I understad shllowness...I also understand getting beyond it.

    I am not middle class.

    As an OLDER GENTLEMAN You may wanna actually listin to Me.

    I never said you are a problem.

    Get a passport. and take whatever You have. And leave wherever You are.

    You are smart - it shows.

    But You are stuck in a place that gives nothing back to You.

    And it shows.



    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif




    One thing I agree with is that international travel can really boost your self esteem because people in other parts of the world are not as narrowminded as we are here in the US.

    The fact remains though that something is wrong with things HERE! and that has to change.


    what exacty needs to change dekiruman?


    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness
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    Dec 02, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    What needs to change is how being white young and buff is the currency of the gay world.


    It really isn't. For every physical description under the sun, there is someone out there who get's off on it.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    What needs to change is how being white young and buff is the currency of the gay world.


    It really isn't. For every physical description under the sun, there is someone out there who get's off on it.


    Says the young fit white guy.

    Sure there's people who are into other types but there is an unfair basis towards non white non musuclar and older men in our community. I mean if being young white and fit was not the enternal product du joir then no one would be complaining.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    What needs to change is how being white young and buff is the currency of the gay world.


    It really isn't. For every physical description under the sun, there is someone out there who get's off on it.


    You're right. Go find five guys on RJ whose hotlists are filled with black or Asian men and then get back to me.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:05 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    What needs to change is how being white young and buff is the currency of the gay world.


    It really isn't. For every physical description under the sun, there is someone out there who get's off on it.


    You're right. Go find five guys on RJ whose hotlists are filled with black or Asian men and then get back to me.


    I will let him start with me as a jump start.

    And I try to make it a point to hot list men of color I find attractive.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction? Does this mean it only a problem when you specifically are not some particular person's cup of tea?

    I know it sucks when someone doesn't reciprocate attraction (I've been there), but I cant help but feel this is an individual to individual basis, rather than some grand failure of society. When I've been turned down by black guys specifically for being white and blond, I view it as his particular issue, not one that extends to black me everywhere.

    My $0.02...
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:19 PM GMT
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction? Does this mean it only a problem when you specifically are not some particular person's cup of tea?

    I know it sucks when someone doesn't reciprocate attraction (I've been there), but I cant help but feel this is an individual to individual basis, rather than some grand failure of society. When I've been turned down by black guys specifically for being white and blond, I view it as his particular issue, not one that extends to black me everywhere.

    My $0.02...


    No one said that. The point is that there is a strong eurocentric and young centric bias. You being turned down by black guys is not the same as being systematically shut out of the community at large. Many people of color voice the opinion that sometimes the feel as if the are made o not feel like a part if the gay community and movement. There are issues in our community and the community seems intent in shoving it under the rug.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:19 PM GMT
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction?


    My $0.02...


    Where did I say this?



    Also. You will not get reject as much for being white as you would the other way around. Black guys get rejected or passed over all the time even if they have the exact same stats.

    I mean.....all of these black and Asian guys can't just be making this all up.


    I've never seen a thread from a white guy asking why he gets discriminated against so much.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:22 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction?


    My $0.02...


    Where did I say this?



    Also. You will not get reject as much for being white as you would the other way around. Black guys get rejected or passed over all the time even if they have the exact same stats.

    I mean.....all of these black and Asian guys can't just be making this all up.


    I've never seen a thread from a white guy asking why he gets discriminated against so much.


    That's what I'm saying.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:31 PM GMT
    All of this doesn't apply that much to the likes of me, everyone is white here lol so I have this issue,

    I'm always jealous how straight couples go on and how I have to be careful half the time.

    I attrack girls not nothing right haha and if you looked at my facebook its mainly me with girls but I prefer the company of guys (girls just carry cameras I guess) hahahaha

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    Dec 02, 2012 9:33 PM GMT
    Aodhan saidAll of this doesn't apply that much to the likes of me, everyone is white here lol so I have this issue,

    I'm always jealous how straight couples go on and how I have to be careful half the time.

    I attrack girls not nothing right haha and if you looked at my facebook its mainly me with girls but I prefer the company of guys (girls just carry cameras I guess) hahahaha



    they're taking pictures of you because you have the swag-sauce.


    But you knew that. icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:33 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction?


    My $0.02...


    Where did I say this?



    Also. You will not get reject as much for being white as you would the other way around. Black guys get rejected or passed over all the time even if they have the exact same stats.

    I mean.....all of these black and Asian guys can't just be making this all up.


    I've never seen a thread from a white guy asking why he gets discriminated against so much.


    You didn't say that. The point I was trying to make is that I think it's wrong for anyone to take issue with the type of guy anyone else finds sexually attractive.

    For example, it would be unfair of me to say that it is wrong for someone to find only tall guys attractive, but it is okay if someone finds only short guys attractive. Do you at least see what I'm trying to say even if you don't agree?

    In other words, you aren't allowed to take issue with any way a guy assesses attractiveness unless you take issue with all of them. I choose to not take issue with any of them because at the end of the day I truly believe it's just different strokes for different folks.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction?


    My $0.02...


    Where did I say this?



    Also. You will not get reject as much for being white as you would the other way around. Black guys get rejected or passed over all the time even if they have the exact same stats.

    I mean.....all of these black and Asian guys can't just be making this all up.


    I've never seen a thread from a white guy asking why he gets discriminated against so much.


    You didn't say that. The point I was trying to make is that I think it's wrong for anyone to take issue with the type of guy anyone else finds sexually attractive.

    For example, it would be unfair of me to say that it is wrong for someone to find only tall guys attractive, but it is okay if someone finds only short guys attractive. Do you at least see what I'm trying to say even if you don't agree?

    In other words, you aren't allowed to take issue with any way a guy assesses attractiveness unless you take issue with all of them. I choose to not take issue with any of them because at the end of the day I truly believe it's just different strokes for different folks.


    We arent talking about preference. We are talking about an ingrained bias against people of age and color. Maybe when you get to be in your forties you'll get what I'm talking about.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    I am shocked that so many people think being white in a gay world is the top of the food chain. I find it ignorant and quite frankly stupid. It seems like only a person with extremely low self esteem would think in such a way. I am Latino and have never experienced this, on the contrary the black men at the local gay bar are always swamped with guys.

    Envying anyone is self destructive, what does it gain you?
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:42 PM GMT
    Bustamante saidI am shocked that so many people think being white in a gay world is the top of the food chain. I find it ignorant and quite frankly stupid. It seems like only a person with extremely low self esteem would think in such a way. I am Latino and have never experienced this, on the contrary the black men at the local gay bar are always swamped with guys.

    Envying anyone is self destructive, what does it gain you?



    Yeah I see your point icon_smile.gif

    To be honest I never think about what race a person is, A person is a person and I'm attracted to people of every race! Like I chat to people of different races regularly on Realjock.

    And @DEKIRUMAN: LOL thanks you sexy beast! icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:43 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Hawk_Guy13 said
    DEKIRUMAN said

    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    But you're okay with people searching for daddies, bears, Asian men only, BBCs, or any other metric by which one measures physical attraction?


    My $0.02...


    Where did I say this?



    Also. You will not get reject as much for being white as you would the other way around. Black guys get rejected or passed over all the time even if they have the exact same stats.

    I mean.....all of these black and Asian guys can't just be making this all up.


    I've never seen a thread from a white guy asking why he gets discriminated against so much.


    You didn't say that. The point I was trying to make is that I think it's wrong for anyone to take issue with the type of guy anyone else finds sexually attractive.

    For example, it would be unfair of me to say that it is wrong for someone to find only tall guys attractive, but it is okay if someone finds only short guys attractive. Do you at least see what I'm trying to say even if you don't agree?

    In other words, you aren't allowed to take issue with any way a guy assesses attractiveness unless you take issue with all of them. I choose to not take issue with any of them because at the end of the day I truly believe it's just different strokes for different folks.


    We arent talking about preference. We are talking about an ingrained bias against people of age and color. Maybe when you get to be in your forties you'll get what I'm talking about.


    If I remember correctly, the topic was dating/relationships. Therefore, yes we are very much talking about an issue of preference.

    I sincerely hope I didn't offend you with anything I've said in the forum about this, because some of it seems to have bothered you, and that was not my intention. Maybe I just haven't seen or experienced what you're saying first hand, but for me things like race, age, and appearance are always secondary when I look for guys.

    That being said, however, I don't begrudge different men for having different standards whether or not I fit them.
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    Dec 02, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    Aodhan said
    Bustamante saidI am shocked that so many people think being white in a gay world is the top of the food chain. I find it ignorant and quite frankly stupid. It seems like only a person with extremely low self esteem would think in such a way. I am Latino and have never experienced this, on the contrary the black men at the local gay bar are always swamped with guys.

    Envying anyone is self destructive, what does it gain you?



    Yeah I see your point icon_smile.gif

    To be honest I never think about what race a person is, A person is a person and I'm attracted to people of every race! Like I chat to people of different races regularly on Realjock.

    And @DEKIRUMAN: LOL thanks you sexy beast! icon_wink.gif


    Agreed on all points. Including DEKIRUMAN being attractive.
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    Dec 02, 2012 10:02 PM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1858

    Dec 02, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    An interesting topic and here is my little thought on the subject matter.

    I am guilty of sometimes wishing I was straight. It just seems life would be a tiny bit more easier. But only a tiny bit. I mean, I accept that I am gay and I know I can't change my attraction. But I still have the underlying thought. I wish I could go to an alternate universe and see what life would be if I was straight lol

    But at the same time, yes, you have to remember that straight people have the same problems like gay people do. I think it just depends on where you live and what you see in your area that determines how you might interpret how everything else might work. I know I'm guilty of that. Living here in Vegas, I notice that a lot (not all) gay guys desire sex/hookups/etc. and if you don't have the look, they cast you away. But you know, attraction is attraction. But it's not like I go out to the strip on a regular basis so for all I know, there are plenty of happy gay couples that I don't see. I admit that.

    And the race thing does seem more common. It's like when you read through countless profiles that say "no black, no asian, white only." Not everyone thinks this way but you have to imagine that when you see comments like that, it makes you wonder. I just find it worse that if said individual has the interests you are looking for but doesn't like him physically because of his race, I think that's unfortunate. Being a mixed black guy, I also admit to feeling a bit angry when I read profile upon profile that states that but with time, I learned to just accept it. Personally, I find all races attractive.

    But I agree with something Cash said. I haven't traveled at all out of the US (well, I went to Mexico once but only the tourist part lol). Anyway, I have met 2 guys from European countries who visited Vegas years ago who I met up with. At the time, I was hating on myself because I was black and felt most people viewed my race as undesirable but when I met these guys, they made me feel different about myself and how they complimented me on my look. I was not used to treatment like that so it was quite the experience. And it gave me a more positive outlook that there will be people who will find you attractive and like you for you out there somewhere.

    So I think Cash's response about seeing the world is true. You learn many things. Even though I haven't actually explored the world, I learned a lot from those two guys.

    Anyway, I'm kind of steering off topic. The main thing is just keep your head up. It may seem bleak right now but you just have to hang in there. If you just keep trying your best, it's bound to pay off one day.

    And so sorry for the long post... lol
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    Dec 02, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    MadeinMich said"Like I was saying with women its more about mental and emotional attraction and also how you approach it. "


    I find this to be true.


    Its easier to connect with women mentally. Its the reason why most of my friends are women or very effeminate men.


    It is also the reason you will remain alone


    Cha' know I fins it very ironic someone who looks like you is trying to tell me about why I'm alone. No offense but you look like what many gay men want. I'm sure there was a period when you didn't but you do now. And as an older gentlemen I would think you would understand how people can be incredibly shallow and not let you pass the gate.

    You're a white middle class man telling men that the society isn't the problem but I'm the problem. You are the society.


    My looks are secondary. ANYbody who knows Me will agree.

    I understad shllowness...I also understand getting beyond it.

    I am not middle class.

    As an OLDER GENTLEMAN You may wanna actually listin to Me.

    I never said you are a problem.

    Get a passport. and take whatever You have. And leave wherever You are.

    You are smart - it shows.

    But You are stuck in a place that gives nothing back to You.

    And it shows.



    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif




    One thing I agree with is that international travel can really boost your self esteem because people in other parts of the world are not as narrowminded as we are here in the US.

    The fact remains though that something is wrong with things HERE! and that has to change.


    what exacty needs to change dekiruman?


    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    I am 44.

    I am awright but HARDLY the most muscly.


    And YOU have to loose the obbsession with race.
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    Dec 02, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    Cash said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Cash said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    MadeinMich said"Like I was saying with women its more about mental and emotional attraction and also how you approach it. "


    I find this to be true.


    Its easier to connect with women mentally. Its the reason why most of my friends are women or very effeminate men.


    It is also the reason you will remain alone


    Cha' know I fins it very ironic someone who looks like you is trying to tell me about why I'm alone. No offense but you look like what many gay men want. I'm sure there was a period when you didn't but you do now. And as an older gentlemen I would think you would understand how people can be incredibly shallow and not let you pass the gate.

    You're a white middle class man telling men that the society isn
    't the problem but I'm the problem. You are the society.


    My looks are secondary. ANYbody who knows Me will agree.

    I understad shllowness...I also understand getting beyond it.

    I am not middle class.

    As an OLDER GENTLEMAN You may wanna actually listin to Me.

    I never said you are a problem.

    Get a passport. and take whatever You have. And leave wherever You are.

    You are smart - it shows.

    But You are stuck in a place that gives nothing back to You.

    And it shows.



    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif




    One thing I agree with is that international travel can really boost your self esteem because people in other parts of the world are not as narrowminded as we are here in the US.

    The fact remains though that something is wrong with things HERE! and that has to change.


    what exacty needs to change dekiruman?


    the unhealthy obsession with youth, muscles and whiteness


    I am 44.

    I am awright but HARDLY the most muscly.


    And YOU have to loose the obbsession with race.



    Dude have you seen your body? You are gorgeous! You have the body of a God! I wanna do seven or six different things to you right now.

    And its not our obssession with race. You are like those old school racists and sexists who would tell blacks and women sexism and racism is something they are imagining.

    I disagree with you intensely.
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    Dec 02, 2012 10:53 PM GMT
    Wow I am gone for 4 hours and this thread as gotten out of control!

    MNP- First this is not the first time you have called someone old. Please refrain from that, most of the "older" guys on here actually put many of us 20 years old to shame. Some say its not offense but I for one believe age is not a number but how you act and live.

    Now you claim that the gay community wants a certain type of guy, the perfect package and straight women are accepting of all guys. That is 100% false. It's been my experience that its the other way around. I have huge body issues now that I have a gigantic scar running down my chest as well as 4 little scars on my upper stomach area from the tubes draining the fluid...When I first took off my shirt a STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIEND SCREAMED AND THREW UP! How that make me feel. She has asked me never to take my shirt off in front of her. I, no longer speak to her. When I went to the beach for the first time since my surgery my friends encouraged me to take my shirt off. I did, and another straight girl, who I did not know just stared at me horrified and actually asked my friends to tell me to put my shirt on cause I was making her FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE! Now when I joined this site I was still in the closet and stopped showing people my scar. It was the AMAZING PEOPLE IN THE GAY CULTURE WHO GOT ME TO COME OUT TO MY FRIENDS AND HELPED ME POST THAT PICTURE OF ME AND MY SCAR! MEN THAT I HAVE NEVER TALKED TO SENT ME EMAILS SAYING I SHOULD BE PROUD AND THAT IT WAS A TURN ON!!! For the first TIME since my surgery my scar has not bothered me, because the gay community has been there for me!!!! Not the straight females you claim care nothing of looks.

    Now your going on to say white is the hot topic of the gay culture...Im sorry I can't control who I am born to and what my skin tone is, just the same as you. I personally do not see color and probably never will!

    Also people on this thread have attacked Cash? Why? You posted a thread and he addressed it, you and a couple others didn't like what he said and have attacked him personally (at least in my opinion)...thats not right! What makes cash so attractive is not just his looks, but his personality and his humor!

    You claim you hate being judged by the gay community, you have judged so much in this thread. You called 2 actors ugly and have refereed to seeing other people ugly. You are doing the same thing you are claiming to have a problem...

    Now some life lessons- This world is as ugly as it is beautiful, mean as it is merciful! You are going to get what you put in this world! You need to stop complaining about every little thing around you and make a difference in your life. From what I see by what you post, you are not happy with the gay community and want it to change. I personally see nothing wrong with it, its not perfect but it is what it is.
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    Dec 02, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    RadRTT saidWow I am gone for 4 hours and this thread as gotten out of control!

    MNP- First this is not the first time you have called someone old. Please refrain from that, most of the "older" guys on here actually put many of us 20 years old to shame. Some say its not offense but I for one believe age is not a number but how you act and live.

    Now you claim that the gay community wants a certain type of guy, the perfect package and straight women are accepting of all guys. That is 100% false. It's been my experience that its the other way around. I have huge body issues now that I have a gigantic scar running down my chest as well as 4 little scars on my upper stomach area from the tubes draining the fluid...When I first took off my shirt a STRAIGHT FEMALE FRIEND SCREAMED AND THREW UP! How that make me feel. She has asked me never to take my shirt off in front of her. I, no longer speak to her. When I went to the beach for the first time since my surgery my friends encouraged me to take my shirt off. I did, and another straight girl, who I did not know just stared at me horrified and actually asked my friends to tell me to put my shirt on cause I was making her FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE! Now when I joined this site I was still in the closet and stopped showing people my scar. It was the AMAZING PEOPLE IN THE GAY CULTURE WHO GOT ME TO COME OUT TO MY FRIENDS AND HELPED ME POST THAT PICTURE OF ME AND MY SCAR! MEN THAT I HAVE


    And I am happy for you but that does not invalidate what I and many if the other men of color here are saying. Obviously we aren't just making this all up. There have been numerous articles written on the matter. I'm not saying you are wrong in saying there are many accepting gay men but there are just as many who are not.