Sometimes I envy straight people

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    Dec 03, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    MadeinMich said
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan saidIm just going to say this, I have read this thread from the original post. OP, you will always find what you seek. If you seek out the whole race thing or some other negative aspect of the gay community you will find it. You should never be envious of anyone because you are unique to YOU!

    Dammit I sound like a PBS special!icon_biggrin.gif



    Trust me. You don't "seek" out race based sexual discrimination man. It finds you when its the last thing on your mind. You find it in an internet message, in approaching someone at a bar or clubs.


    It finds you because you look for it. I have rejected some people because I was not attracted to them. That other person is the one that turned it into race, weight, height or whatever. Why? Because, that is what they were looking for something that they are self conscious about.

    When I get rejected, the way I see it is they did me the favor. Now I do not have to put up with what ever bullshit criteria they feel I do not meet. But do I let that bother me NO thats their business not mine. In my eyes I do not care why.


    Trust me. I don't make this up in my mind. As well I'm sure others don't. Allow me to explain. I have been told point blank when I ask guys to give me an honest reason for their rejection of me...."Well, I'm not into black guys" "Not into blacks, sorry". And this has been said countless times to me.

    I ask them this so that I may be better educated on dating and mating trends so that when I make a point like I did above I know what I am talking about. So it goes well beyond them not being interested in me but their REASON for not being interested.

    Its very easy for you to dismiss this type of occurance when you are high up on the food chain...white - looking, young, and muscular. I'm sure you have been rejected (we all have). What I am not sure of is that you share the same frequency of rejections as blacks or asians.


    I agree with all of this. Its easy to say someone else is wrong when you're in a system that benefits you.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:04 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan saidIm just going to say this, I have read this thread from the original post. OP, you will always find what you seek. If you seek out the whole race thing or some other negative aspect of the gay community you will find it. You should never be envious of anyone because you are unique to YOU!

    Dammit I sound like a PBS special!icon_biggrin.gif



    Trust me. You don't "seek" out race based sexual discrimination man. It finds you when its the last thing on your mind. You find it in an internet message, in approaching someone at a bar or clubs.


    It finds you because you look for it. I have rejected some people because I was not attracted to them. That other person is the one that turned it into race, weight, height or whatever. Why? Because, that is what they were looking for something that they are self conscious about.

    When I get rejected, the way I see it is they did me the favor. Now I do not have to put up with what ever bullshit criteria they feel I do not meet. But do I let that bother me NO thats their business not mine. In my eyes I do not care why.


    Nobody looks for that.


    In my experience in customer service, and dating, yes people do do look for it. It's sad because there are some individuals that actively look for it. I have been accused of being a racial bigot, homophobic (that was the one I found the most hilarious), and the list goes on. I have had some friends rejected right in front of me that have said "he rejected me because I'm asian" or because of "something" when if fact that was not the case. The thing is you may not actively seek it but when it is a self conscious thing you do seek it because you want to validate your thoughts.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    I do not think anything any "White" person say is going to be believed by the OP and some of these other believers.icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:08 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI agree with all of this. Its easy to say someone else is wrong when you're in a system that benefits you.
    Fine then.
    I'm short, nonwhite, twinky, and I lean towards the "fem" side of the scale.
    You're wrong.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:11 AM GMT
    Neight said
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI agree with all of this. Its easy to say someone else is wrong when you're in a system that benefits you.
    Fine then.
    I'm short, nonwhite, twinky, and I lean towards the "fem" side of the scale.
    You're wrong.


    I say he's not


    so we've reached equilibrium.
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Dec 03, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    rondan said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan saidIm just going to say this, I have read this thread from the original post. OP, you will always find what you seek. If you seek out the whole race thing or some other negative aspect of the gay community you will find it. You should never be envious of anyone because you are unique to YOU!

    Dammit I sound like a PBS special!icon_biggrin.gif



    Trust me. You don't "seek" out race based sexual discrimination man. It finds you when its the last thing on your mind. You find it in an internet message, in approaching someone at a bar or clubs.


    It finds you because you look for it. I have rejected some people because I was not attracted to them. That other person is the one that turned it into race, weight, height or whatever. Why? Because, that is what they were looking for something that they are self conscious about.

    When I get rejected, the way I see it is they did me the favor. Now I do not have to put up with what ever bullshit criteria they feel I do not meet. But do I let that bother me NO thats their business not mine. In my eyes I do not care why.


    Nobody looks for that.


    In my experience in customer service, and dating, yes people do do look for it. It's sad because there are some individuals that actively look for it. I have been accused of being a racial bigot, homophobic (that was the one I found the most hilarious), and the list goes on. I have had some friends rejected right in front of me that have said "he rejected me because I'm asian" or because of "something" when if fact that was not the case. The thing is you may not actively seek it but when it is a self conscious thing you do seek it because you want to validate your thoughts.


    You missed my point completely. It is one thing to have this misconception built in your mind that people of the opposite race or others who are different than you are rejecting you because of your race when there is no evidence. I agree, that be seen as a sort of paranoia, that is unwarrented.

    But it is another thing when you or a white friend of yours asks someone for their reason for their rejection and they TELL YOU, SPEAK IT, ARTICULATE, CONFIRM that its because you're black.

    Thats when racial sexual discrimination ceases to be this construct you have built in your mind and becomes a reality THAT YOU DID NOT SEEK !!!
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    Bustamante saidI do not think anything any "White" person say is going to be believed by the OP and some of these other believers.icon_eek.gif


    Don't feel bad........

    I'm pretty sure green-eyed latinos won't be taken very seriously either.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:23 AM GMT
    MadeinMich said
    rondan said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan saidIm just going to say this, I have read this thread from the original post. OP, you will always find what you seek. If you seek out the whole race thing or some other negative aspect of the gay community you will find it. You should never be envious of anyone because you are unique to YOU!

    Dammit I sound like a PBS special!icon_biggrin.gif



    Trust me. You don't "seek" out race based sexual discrimination man. It finds you when its the last thing on your mind. You find it in an internet message, in approaching someone at a bar or clubs.


    It finds you because you look for it. I have rejected some people because I was not attracted to them. That other person is the one that turned it into race, weight, height or whatever. Why? Because, that is what they were looking for something that they are self conscious about.

    When I get rejected, the way I see it is they did me the favor. Now I do not have to put up with what ever bullshit criteria they feel I do not meet. But do I let that bother me NO thats their business not mine. In my eyes I do not care why.


    Nobody looks for that.


    In my experience in customer service, and dating, yes people do do look for it. It's sad because there are some individuals that actively look for it. I have been accused of being a racial bigot, homophobic (that was the one I found the most hilarious), and the list goes on. I have had some friends rejected right in front of me that have said "he rejected me because I'm asian" or because of "something" when if fact that was not the case. The thing is you may not actively seek it but when it is a self conscious thing you do seek it because you want to validate your thoughts.


    You missed my point completely. It is one thing to have this misconception built in your mind that people of the opposite race or others who are different than you are rejecting you because of your race when there is no evidence. I agree, that be seen as a sort of paranoia, that is unwarrented.

    But it is another thing when you or a white friend of yours asks someone for their reason for their rejection and they TELL YOU, SPEAK IT, ARTICULATE, CONFIRM that its because you're black.

    Thats when racial sexual discrimination ceases to be this construct you have built in your mind and becomes a reality THAT YOU DID NOT SEEK !!!


    I apologize if I did misread or miss your point. However, that is not the case with the OP from what I have read. Yes, I agree there are some real genuine assholes that do say that shit, and I am sorry that you have had to deal with that. But why do you let their stupidity get you down? Obviously you are a very smart individual why would you let someone that is dumb enough to say that bother you? (if you want you can message me personally or not your choice)
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Bustamante saidI do not think anything any "White" person say is going to be believed by the OP and some of these other believers.icon_eek.gif


    Don't feel bad........

    I'm pretty sure green-eyed latinos won't be taken very seriously either.


    Now you just sound jealous icon_redface.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:36 AM GMT
    Bustamante said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Bustamante saidI do not think anything any "White" person say is going to be believed by the OP and some of these other believers.icon_eek.gif


    Don't feel bad........

    I'm pretty sure green-eyed latinos won't be taken very seriously either.


    Now you just sound jealous icon_redface.gif


    People just picked the wrong day today. I'm working on a research paper that I hate and so my vagina is fully saturated with sand at the moment.
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Dec 03, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Bustamante said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    Bustamante saidI do not think anything any "White" person say is going to be believed by the OP and some of these other believers.icon_eek.gif


    Don't feel bad........

    I'm pretty sure green-eyed latinos won't be taken very seriously either.


    Now you just sound jealous icon_redface.gif


    People just picked the wrong day today. I'm working on a research paper that I hate and so my vagina is fully saturated with sand at the moment.


    You are just too fucking much dudeicon_biggrin.gif
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Dec 03, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan said
    DEKIRUMAN said
    rondan said
    MadeinMich said
    rondan saidIm just going to say this, I have read this thread from the original post. OP, you will always find what you seek. If you seek out the whole race thing or some other negative aspect of the gay community you will find it. You should never be envious of anyone because you are unique to YOU!

    Dammit I sound like a PBS special!icon_biggrin.gif



    Trust me. You don't "seek" out race based sexual discrimination man. It finds you when its the last thing on your mind. You find it in an internet message, in approaching someone at a bar or clubs.


    It finds you because you look for it. I have rejected some people because I was not attracted to them. That other person is the one that turned it into race, weight, height or whatever. Why? Because, that is what they were looking for something that they are self conscious about.

    When I get rejected, the way I see it is they did me the favor. Now I do not have to put up with what ever bullshit criteria they feel I do not meet. But do I let that bother me NO thats their business not mine. In my eyes I do not care why.


    Nobody looks for that.


    In my experience in customer service, and dating, yes people do do look for it. It's sad because there are some individuals that actively look for it. I have been accused of being a racial bigot, homophobic (that was the one I found the most hilarious), and the list goes on. I have had some friends rejected right in front of me that have said "he rejected me because I'm asian" or because of "something" when if fact that was not the case. The thing is you may not actively seek it but when it is a self conscious thing you do seek it because you want to validate your thoughts.


    You missed my point completely. It is one thing to have this misconception built in your mind that people of the opposite race or others who are different than you are rejecting you because of your race when there is no evidence. I agree, that be seen as a sort of paranoia, that is unwarrented.

    But it is another thing when you or a white friend of yours asks someone for their reason for their rejection and they TELL YOU, SPEAK IT, ARTICULATE, CONFIRM that its because you're black.

    Thats when racial sexual discrimination ceases to be this construct you have built in your mind and becomes a reality THAT YOU DID NOT SEEK !!!


    I apologize if I did misread or miss your point. However, that is not the case with the OP from what I have read. Yes, I agree there are some real genuine assholes that do say that shit, and I am sorry that you have had to deal with that. But why do you let their stupidity get you down? Obviously you are a very smart individual why would you let someone that is dumb enough to say that bother you? (if you want you can message me personally or not your choice)


    Hey man,

    No problem. Dispite how I sound I don't let it get me down or make me angry. I guess I get disappointed when people ignore palpable examples of something that is so blatant. Its kind of like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue when they think its yellow. Trying to show people something that's there in front of you , living and breathing can be frustrating when they just don't get it or refuse to see it.

    Believe it or not I don't feel that those guys who told me that were assholes. They were just honest. And I don't care how brutal it is, one thing I respect more than anything is one's honesty with themselves and me. It informs me and open my eyes to the hidden world that others refuse to see, like the Matrix. Even if other people don't see it, I'm glad I seek out the truth in others and in "this" community so I know where I stand.

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    Dec 03, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    So are you saying that it's just gay men that go for looks rather than personality? What about straight men? If you think straight guys are more attracted to personality than gay guys then you really haven't been around too many straight guys.

    And yea I agree that a lot of woman are attracted to a guy's personality more than his looks, but looks still play a pretty important role. I've plenty of woman that would turn down a nice guy that isn't the most attractive.
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    Dec 03, 2012 1:34 AM GMT
    This is what I was saying when I answered the hypothetical question about why I would take the straight pill if they came out with one. Hell, I would even take a Bi Booster shot LOL! I have no problems at all with girls. None. No matter what race.

    I emailed about 8 girls on okcupid that I was considering the Houston area and wanted to know what they thought about their city. All of them responded. Likewise, I emailed 12 gay guys on here and Okcupid about the same thing. One guy responded. These weren't even guys I'd hook up with. Maybe that speaks to the gay community in Houston lol.

    Mathematically, it is way harder (in the bad way) to find your mate as a gay guy than if you're straight.
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    Dec 03, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    Myol saidThis is what I was saying when I answered the hypothetical question about why I would take the straight pill if they came out with one. Hell, I would even take a Bi Booster shot LOL! I have no problems at all with girls. None. No matter what race.

    I emailed about 8 girls on okcupid that I was considering the Houston area and wanted to know what they thought about their city. All of them responded. Likewise, I emailed 12 gay guys on here and Okcupid about the same thing. One guy responded. These weren't even guys I'd hook up with. Maybe that speaks to the gay community in Houston lol.

    Mathematically, it is way harder (in the bad way) to find your mate as a gay guy than if you're straight.


    I never had any problematic women besides that i didn't like them in that way. Lol being gay im frequently alone.

    My sex toy collection has greatly expanded as a result of this. Lol
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    Why envy anybody for anything? It only creates unhappiness or worse.
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    Dec 03, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    Sorry....but, you get back what you put out....If you want "GREAT", you need to be "GREAT". The excuses are plentiful and we all use them. The truth is that excuses are defense mechanisms that allow us to not take responsibility when things don't go the way we want.....straight, gay, bi, trans, white, black, christian, atheist, American or Ugandan, male or female.....PEOPLE are the same. Time and situations are never perfect for having a relationship and certainly won't stay that way indefinitely....so sometimes its all up to serendipity. Women are half of humanity....to say that all "vaginas are the scourge" is criminally WRONG.
    If you want that man of unfailing, "no compromises" love in in good and bad times.....YOU NEED TO BE HIM! It is so easy to SAY what you want, but so hard to be what you want....icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    Sporty_g saidSorry....but, you get back what you put out....If you want "GREAT", you need to be "GREAT". The excuses are plentiful and we all use them. The truth is that excuses are defense mechanisms that allow us to not take responsibility when things don't go the way we want.....straight, gay, bi, trans, white, black, christian, atheist, American or Ugandan, male or female.....PEOPLE are the same. Time and situations are never perfect for having a relationship and certainly won't stay that way indefinitely....so sometimes its all up to serendipity. Women are half of humanity....to say that all "vaginas are the scourge" is criminally WRONG.
    If you want that man of unfailing, "no compromises" love in in good and bad times.....YOU NEED TO BE HIM! It is so easy to SAY what you want, but so hard to be what you want....icon_smile.gif


    No one can tell when I'm joking. I was making a joke about the vaginas. Lol touchy touchy gays.
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    Dec 03, 2012 4:37 AM GMT
    Bustamante saidAs a gay man of color


    Please...just no. Yes I understand that you are Latino and therefore "of color", but not all "colors" are equal.
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    Dec 03, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    Also to to the OP:

    I don't necessarily agree with everything you say, but I think you have a fair point.