Make Friends/Look For dates at the same time??

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:28 AM GMT
    So, here it is:
    I'm really lonely - don't have any friends because I'm new to the area and the guys I've been interested in have all turned me down.

    I have never been in a relationship or had much experience dating.. so I suck when it comes to talking to guys.

    How am I supposed to expand my friend base while also looking for guys to date without disappointing anyone or getting disappointed myself?

    The guys that I try to be friends with end up liking me when I don't like them, and the guys I am interested in are always only trying to be friends - and both scenarios ruins the chance of friendship/dating.

    Anybody have any advice?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 12:35 AM GMT
    Join a gay or gay friendly social club. That way there's no expectations of romance, while you get to know the people around you. And don't limit yourself to meeting only gay guys. Meet straight people too. They might have gay friends that might be interested in a date or might be looking for friends too.

    Also, RJ is a pretty decent site to meet new people. Participate in the forums more. There are spontaneous meetups and events that happen here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Unfortunately what you described is the whole dynamic and you can't really change it. You're looking, and at the same time other people are also looking as well. You're bound to collide like particles!

    However you may be polar, and others non-polar. Eventually running into enough particles, you might find your opposite charge icon_smile.gif

    Rich's advice is sound. Be open to all friends, and expand your family
    gradually, instead of collecting a bunch all at once. It doesn't give you time to fully allow the friendship to bloom if you're tending to so many gardens.

    Why am I using so many metaphors...icon_redface.gif