On a more serious note...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    So i know no one really knows me on here, but i hope you guys could just give me your general advise.

    I know I'm attracted to guys on a sexual level, never had any connection with them on a relationship or emotional level. And Iv'e dated and had real feelings for girls during my life.
    Now, I dated this girl over the summer and she's an angel, I think I love her, I want to make her happy, kiss her. She's been through a lot the past year and I swallowed my words and was there for her solely as a friend. Now she admitted she still has strong feelings for me.
    I've been really depressed the past few months, maybe a years or two now. But recently thinking of suicide. I'm embarrassed to come out to my friends and family because A) I don't want to be rejected and B) I don't know how or what to say and C) I'm not sure about my own sexuality to tell them.
    How do I go about this?
    Do I just tell her i like dick lmao?
    I'm afraid it'll kill her.

    What would you do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    1. Suicide is never the answer

    A.) No one likes rejection. But if they truly love you they want you to be happy, even if that means being gay.At the very least they would be happier with you alive than dead.

    B) Tell them straight-out I like guys and girls. Tell them that you need time to discover who you are and what you want in life.

    C) Like the above, tell them how much you are troubled, and how you feel like you need to do this. Tell them, that you NEED this. You need to figure out who you are, and hope that they will still love you while you figure it out and after you've made your decision.

    Refer to the above for what you should do. I'd stick to being more serious and sensative to how she would feel.

    It may hurt her for a little while, but I know any parent would rather deal with a little pain from this than losing their child due to some unknown reason.

    I know my family is gonna freak when I tell them, but this is what I want in life, and I'm willing to fight for it and sacrifice a couple of my family members to pursue it. It's never easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever is.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Dec 09, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    If you're not even sure how you feel about it then you shouldn't be coming out to your friends and family yet. Maybe just pick one person to talk to about it and see if it helps clear anything up for you. This girl friend of yours is who I would choose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    If you are really thinking of suicide, you should see a therapist. If you are feeling depressed, there are drugs which can really help you feel less depressed. Know this, that if your parents care about you at all, if you should kill yourself, you will destroy their lives. They will never get over it.
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    I would say see a therapist for a number of reasons. You are extremely confused about your sexuality and you have suicidal thoughts. A therapist will not judge you no matter what, they have heard it all.

    Also hold off on telling people, till you are 100% sure of what you want in life.

    Good Luck!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11422

    Dec 09, 2012 6:04 AM GMT

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 09, 2012 6:21 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong in what you are, and it's normal to find it complicated, bisexual feelings are even harder to sort out than realizing you are gay.

    Therapist is a good idea, it would allow you to open up without the fear to be judged.

    Did you had sex with both girls and guys ? Does your sexual fantaisies and jackoff material men only or with both gender ?
    That should give you insight on where you stand on the gay/bi/straight continuum.

    What's sure from your post is that you like guys, and that will never go away. So, at some point in your life, you will have to decide who should know it, but there is no hurry at all. Yo can't be 'honest' with others while, honestly, you don't know yet exactly what your sexuality is made of.

    I'm a bit like you, very able to emotional attachment to women, even able to have satisfying sex with them, but I do prefer male sex.
    It made my life a bit more complicated than being straight, yet it's a very good and emotionally fulfilling life. Everybody know that I live with the man of my life, and everybody also know that also had female life partner before.

    Straight people think I'm gay, but I have mixed, if uneven, sexual attraction for both sex.
    I had a sexual dream about .. a woman a few day ago. Whoa, first time in many years, I thought it was over, but not ;-).