Sexuality and Gender: Different dimensions of diversity with an analog continuum, not digital states?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    This is an "offshoot-thread" based on another thread on "The purpose of drag queens?"

    For those of you who do not like TL;DR posts. You should go now.

    I'm sharing my responses to the question here in order to consolidate and "abstract up" for others some of my viewpoints on what I see are more the broader underlying issues our society and individuals face regarding Gender and Sexuality. It is my hope that those who struggle with Gender and Sexuality may find strength and hope. It is also my hope that others might reflect upon their own views on Gender and Sexuality towards greater empathy, compassion, and tolerance.

    GAMRican responded to OP's questionSometimes people are born into bodies which do not match their own identity.
    Sometimes people just want to be their own definition of "masculine", "feminine", "androgynous", or whatever blend fits with who they are at any moment in time.

    The clothes we choose to wear on our bodies should be a personal choice. What we choose to wear should not be dictated by others. We should be free to wear what we like, when we like, and how we like.

    How we may appear to others doesn't really matter if we see ourselves as beautiful. And, we should all strive to be beautiful in our own eyes. In the end, those are the only eyes which matter.

    Another RJ member who has been here for a while and added valuable contribustions to our community, commented upon my recent post in this threadHey! I liked your comment about Drag Queens.

    GAMRican responded
    I don't do drag myself. Living here in SF, I have learned more about the differentiation among Physical Gender, Psychological Gender, Gender Role Play, Sexual Orientation, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Identity. These are all separate and distinct dimensions of human diversity.

    From what I've learned, I've seen the straight, gay, and other communities "look down upon", castigate, and shun those who don't fit the nice, neat boxes which the more established "middle of the bell curve" masses have established to define themselves, to find their own identity. I see this happening to transvestites (drag queens), transsexuals, bisexuals, and others.

    It saddens me when I remember back to when I was trying to figure my own identity out and people "put me down". I nearly committed suicide because of it. I've seen others turn to drugs and other addictions to numb the pain of "not belonging and being reminded in mean ways".

    I have empathy and compassion for those who are seeking their own identity and their own path. In my opinion, everybody else should either try to help, or mind their own business and get out of the fucking way.

    Special Note: To those of you whom the "traditional labels" of gay, straight, male, female "just don't fit right", I urge you to pursue your heart and your spirit in finding what "fits" for you at any particular moment in time. I urge you to have courage in the face of ignorance and intolerance to be who you need to be, be who you want to be. There are those of us out here who are trying hard to understand you and to support you.

    I am one of those people who are trying hard to understand and support you, and more importantly to defend, love, and celebrate your right to forge your path as a dignified, diverse, and valued, human being.

    You have only one life. Live it true to who you are.

    Aloha and Be Well!

    I hope that what I have shared today may bring value to your own life, to the life of a friend, or to the life of someone you love.

    Maybe, if we all strive to gain a bit more awareness, empathy, compassion, and tolerance, we might share that value with a stranger on the street with whom we have only that moment when we see the other person and perhaps make eye contact. Your eyes might smile with "understanding", "empathy", "compassion", "tolerance", or even "acceptance". That smile, might be the only one that stranger received that day.

    Maybe that fleeting smile helps that one person to "hang on" just one more day until he/she/ze has the hope to live strong.

    May each of you be blessed with comfort "in your own" Sexuality and Gender "place".

    Aloha and Be Well!

    A guide to gender neutral pronoun usage

    StraightGuise: Sexual Identity Diversity Site for Men

    How to Respect a Transgender Person

    Let the diverse and controversial opinions (both enlightened and ignorant) begin!

    What are your thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:03 PM GMT
    Very well written post on the drag queen article! I don't think I've ever understood the concept of drag queens or even cared to. However, after reading what you wrote it really opened my eyes. I never thought of it as a way of expression (among other things).

    The next day one of my friends at work mentioned that he believed drag shows were an art. Interesting perspective, actually.

    You're right - we only have one life and it's important to live the way we see fit!
    People like us don't choose to be right. We choose to be happy.

    Much love,

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    Dec 13, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    Reading this I got tears in my eyes. So true, so simple and so wonderful. Thank you for this, Alan
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    Drag queens are not transgendered. Get your facts straight.
  • Medjai

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    Dec 14, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidDrag queens are not transgendered. Get your facts straight.

    I'm pretty sure that wasn't said. The term used was 'transvestite', which is accurate, I think.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidDrag queens are not transgendered. Get your facts straight.

    I'm sorry if I offended you. That was not my intention.

    I guess you've proved my more abstract point that there is ignorance, misunderstanding, and a lack of clear definition of etymology regarding Sexuality and Gender related issues.

    Thank you for taking the time to correct me.

    How would you prefer to be identified?