Behaviors Modification

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    Dec 24, 2012 9:52 PM GMT
    intensity69 saidLOL, aside from the physical aspect, no one in these forums has much interest in change. icon_razz.gif


    That is a shame. That must explains why there are more mental illness being diagnosed. Adapting and willingness to change is crucial for mental health.
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    Dec 24, 2012 9:52 PM GMT
    JRaRJ saidIf I wanted a hand up my ass I'd get into fisting. icon_confused.gif


    Thank you Gipetto!
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    Dec 24, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    McQueen said
    Roguewave saidIts ok that English is not his first language, I do not judge him for it, but it seems every thread he participates in he contests everything anyone says and doesn't seem to get the jocularity here. Blocked, it's boring
    Exactly, it's like shut the fuck up nobody knows what you're talking about half the time so why are you trying to argue everything?


    Sorry I do not judge you but I believe I am more educated when it comes to manner and proper respect for others. You are promoting stereotype for being so bitchy and nasty for being a queen......Chill out and be down to earth for once lol
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    Dec 24, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    Perserverance saidSorry I do not judge you but I believe I am more educated when it comes to manner and proper respect for others. You are promoting stereotype for being so bitchy and nasty for being a queen......Chill out and be down to earth for once lol
    You have been nothing but rude about my so-called femininity, and you don't understand why that's wrong because of cultural differences.
    Also, just because you may be technically using a word correctly does not mean that it makes sense in English. Technical English is not good English.
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    Dec 24, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    Perserverance said
    Roguewave saidIts ok that English is not his first language, I do not judge him for it, but it seems every thread he participates in he contests everything anyone says and doesn't seem to get the jocularity here. Blocked, it's boring


    If you do not have valid reasons then please do me a favor. Save me time from dealing with people with that type of understanding and attitude at such age.


    Is the ageism you've exemplified a demonstration of your humility or of your benevolence?

    As to the two, one is how you relate to others, the other is how you relate to yourself.
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    Dec 24, 2012 9:58 PM GMT
    tumblr_m7tkwbgn4x1qa0v77o1_500.gif?w=580
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:01 PM GMT
    McQueen said
    Perserverance saidSorry I do not judge you but I believe I am more educated when it comes to manner and proper respect for others. You are promoting stereotype for being so bitchy and nasty for being a queen......Chill out and be down to earth for once lol
    You have been nothing but rude about my so-called femininity, and you don't understand why that's wrong because of cultural differences.
    Also, just because you may be technically using a word correctly does not mean that it makes sense in English. Technical English is not good English.


    Let's see out of all our conversation you attack my grammar and personal beliefs 90% of the time. When I response back and questioned your thought process you get mad and called me name every time.
    Technical English does not have to be good English but it does serve my purpose of directly communicate with other people. People do understand me so why go on and attack me for my English even though you understood what I am trying to say?
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Perserverance said
    Roguewave saidIts ok that English is not his first language, I do not judge him for it, but it seems every thread he participates in he contests everything anyone says and doesn't seem to get the jocularity here. Blocked, it's boring


    If you do not have valid reasons then please do me a favor. Save me time from dealing with people with that type of understanding and attitude at such age.


    Is the ageism you've exemplified a demonstration of your humility or of your benevolence?

    As to the two, one is how you relate to others, the other is how you relate to yourself.


    I still need to work on this part but I have high expectation for people who are older to be more understanding and behave more appropriately compare to lower age group. Older people should have had the experience of life to learn and be more respectful of other. I think it is a shame when someone gives attitude without thinking. I have high expectation from older people.
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    JRaRJ saidIs it possible to be so far off the wheel of religions but still retain some of what it tries to teach morally and ethically? Cause my Benjamin Franklin to Leonardo Da Vinci perspective puts me in a solitary belief system. icon_confused.gif


    You don't have to be religious to study a religion religiously. This would probably have been a better analogy pre-kindle, but though books exist outside the library, it remains a great depository of books. Religions have spent an enormous amount of time thinking about morals & ethics. So to mix a metaphor while I'm citing an outdated analogy, instead of spending much more time re-inventing that wheel, no reason to throw out the baby with the bath water. Okay, I believe I've butchered that one enough. Have a nice day.
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:09 PM GMT
    Perserverance saidLet's see out of all our conversation you attack my grammar and personal beliefs 90% of the time. When I response back and questioned your thought process you get mad and called me name every time.
    Technical English does not have to be good English but it does serve my purpose of directly communicate with other people. People do understand me so why go on and attack me for my English even though you understood what I am trying to say?
    Half the time you're using words in the wrong context and the other half of the time you act like there's a problem by questioning everything about me.
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    McQueen said
    Perserverance saidLet's see out of all our conversation you attack my grammar and personal beliefs 90% of the time. When I response back and questioned your thought process you get mad and called me name every time.
    Technical English does not have to be good English but it does serve my purpose of directly communicate with other people. People do understand me so why go on and attack me for my English even though you understood what I am trying to say?
    Half the time you're using words in the wrong context and the other half of the time you act like there's a problem by questioning everything about me.

    I was half-joking around with you after you cussed at me. I do believe most of my words are in context. But I believe that certain things I say will make people really think to know what I mean. It is similar to reading old English when it is not old English. There are hidden meanings behind my message when you really think about it. If you do not know I can answer your question.

    I do not think their is a problem with you. I was just joking and being playful. If you really think I was trying to be mean and nasty at you then please do not think that. If I was mean, I think I will just cuss you out...which I did not do.
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:16 PM GMT
    AM
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:17 PM GMT
    McQueen saidAM



    OOOOOOO Leopard print!!!!!
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    Perserverance said
    theantijock said
    Perserverance said
    Roguewave saidIts ok that English is not his first language, I do not judge him for it, but it seems every thread he participates in he contests everything anyone says and doesn't seem to get the jocularity here. Blocked, it's boring


    If you do not have valid reasons then please do me a favor. Save me time from dealing with people with that type of understanding and attitude at such age.


    Is the ageism you've exemplified a demonstration of your humility or of your benevolence?

    As to the two, one is how you relate to others, the other is how you relate to yourself.


    I still need to work on this part but I have high expectation for people who are older to be more understanding and behave more appropriately compare to lower age group. Older people should have had the experience of life to learn and be more respectful of other. I think it is a shame when someone gives attitude without thinking. I have high expectation from older people.


    Everyone learns in their own time. Or not. Your expectations are no excuse for your rudeness regardless that you were being, as far as I could tell, unfairly attacked. I do not know that history which brought this so quickly to fisticuffs, but I do not appreciate, as an innocent reader of your public conversation, having my sensitivities so generally attacked, not even if by friendly fire. I am usually very quick to put ageists onto ignore, having managed to outlive so many who I have loved to become as old as I am, but I do appreciate your acknowledgment that you are working on this. So thanx for that.

    And by the way, are not expectations the indulgences of attachments? I have no expectations of anyone on this forum. Surprise me.
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    Dec 24, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    I would like clarification. I was trying to say the other guy need to behave better for someone his age. I do not see how I was attacking other people. Age should bring wisdom and knowledge.....it is just wrong that you act inappropriate for your age, especially you are in your 50s. I do not understand how that can make someone outside of the argument (in this case) be upset. I was not targetting it toward anyone else.

    The best response is to ignore and not say anything but I guessI still have flaw and need to work more on attachments. I am still young, it is a process....I will work on it more but I usually do not let people walk on me 100% of the time without appropriate reasons.
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    Dec 24, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    Perserverance saidI would like clarification. I was trying to say the other guy need to behave better for someone his age. I do not see how I was attacking other people. Age should bring wisdom and knowledge.....it is just wrong that you act inappropriate for your age, especially you are in your 50s. I do not understand how that can make someone outside of the argument (in this case) be upset. I was not targetting it toward anyone else.

    The best response is to ignore and not say anything but I guessI still have flaw and need to work more on attachments. I am still young, it is a process....I will work on it more but I usually do not let people walk on me 100% of the time without appropriate reasons.


    You just did it again. Stop that.

    Age doesn't mean shit. Get over it. I understood things about life when I was five that some never learn before they're dead. And that doesn't mean shit either. There are things I "should have" learned when I was 20 that I still haven't figured out.

    You're using age in the very same way others use race or gender or socio-economics. What do you mean you don't know how to use a switchblade, you live on that side of the tracks, don't you?

    No one controls their age just like no one controls the color of their skin as much as anyone tries bleach nips or tucks. When you use a factor over which someone has no control to attempt putting someone down--which is what you did--that's called prejudice, an attachment to preconceived ideas of what ought to be, not seeing what is.

    The Jewish people have a little thing called a Barmitzvah. People think of it as when a child becomes a man but really it is when a person has lived long enough to know right from wrong such that the parents are no longer responsible for their child's spiritual fuckups. So you shouldn't be fucking up at 13 just as you shouldn't be fucking up at 23 or at 63 but guess what: people still fuck up. It isn't age, it's just fucking up.

    And there's lots of reasons a person might still fuck up into older ages. You do not know what that person is dealing with. It could be a chemical imbalance. It could be childhood trauma, abusive parents, some unenlightenment, whatever. It could be any number of things, whereas someone else might have been a pampered Buddhist, given every opportunity in the world to develop. So it isn't just age that accounts for what people know. I knew that way sooner than you. Should I blame your age too? I never had the audacity to tell one of my elders to act their age. I'm not even sure what that means. If it means what I think, then I sure as hell hope I don't act my age. Yikes.

    And if we do blame age, then is the corollary that age is an excuse to fuck up. Oh never mind the children that they just murdered a neighbor. Kids will be kids.

    As to why should you be concerned about anyone else reading your public discourse? Oh I don't know, why don't you just spew out a whole crap load of bigoted remarks about black people, Asians or gays and see how that plays out for ya. Anyone reading who wasn't directly targeted probably won't mind at all. They'll hardly even notice. I bet they'd just give you a pass on that, maybe even a pat on the back. Or a kick in the ass. Pick one.
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    Dec 25, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    unfounded7 saidAnd what's the point of being a better person?
    To get to heaven/nirvana/jannah/afterlife/whatever.


    That, or to have a reason to pat one's self on the back. I'd guess most are motivated to be a "better" person in effort to get something they believe they don't already have, rather than some truly altruistic reason.
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    Dec 25, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    anitjock-Very well written. I fully respect and see your reasoning. I guess I need to expect less from other people. I still have a lot to learn.
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    Dec 25, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    xrichx said
    unfounded7 saidAnd what's the point of being a better person?
    To get to heaven/nirvana/jannah/afterlife/whatever.


    That, or to have a reason to pat one's self on the back. I'd guess most are motivated to be a "better" person in effort to get something they believe they don't already have, rather than some truly altruistic reason.


    That is not true lol......what about Mother Theresa
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    Dec 25, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    Perserverance said
    That is not true lol......what about Mother Theresa


    She wanted to get into heaven.
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    Dec 25, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Perserverance said
    That is not true lol......what about Mother Theresa


    She wanted to get into heaven.

    What about you?
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    Dec 25, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    GAMRican said
    Perserverance saidHe was.............that was Kill Bill 2 icon_rolleyes.gif

    There is nothing mystical about RJicon_rolleyes.gif...RJ is just a salad bowl of orientations and races with mostly white chesse.


    And, processed cereal too.


    The mystery grows moar fascinating!



    VERY FUNNEEE, BIIIITCH!!!!

    KILL DAT BUHLAK BITCH!!

    That was such a good movie.

    Loved it! icon_twisted.gif


    In "Behavior Modification" as in "Kill Bill" an important life lesson is to be learned.
    It is so important to "let bygones be bygones" and to "keep and eye out" for opportunities to just "walk away" from unhealthy confrontation.

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    Dec 25, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    Perserverance saidanitjock-Very well written. I fully respect and see your reasoning. I guess I need to expect less from other people. I still have a lot to learn.


    Now what does Buddhism have to say about duality? You don't really have to go from unreal expectations to none. Everything isn't either/or. Certainly it would be depressing to go through life thinking you "need to expect less from other people" and then is it right thinking to always think in depressing ways? And as I suggested, people will surprise you. Let them. But when they disappoint, being reactive might not be a strength while being reflective might not be a weakness.

    And if someone then says, oh, you're just being butthurt, well, then you can just go tell them to fuck off and click ignore. Because they don't give a shit about someone else's feelings.

    Perserverance said
    minox said...The important quality you forgot is : humility, a trademark of all great spiritual peoples in my book, the ones who focus on helping others more than helping themselves ;-)

    Benevolence is very similar to humility


    Minox had a real good point on humility because it really seems to unlock a lot of the other stuff which allows for change you seek. Indeed, you can look at the narcisist as the opposite of humble, rather arrogant, and isn't that a person less likely to avail themselves to change. Why change once you've deluded yourself into thinking you're sitting on top of the world.



    Perserverance said

    Benevolence
    Awareness of negative emotion
    Willingness to control and restraint oneself of negative thoughts and behaviors, Honesty
    Forgiveness
    Diligent


    So I think you are right that there's a connection between humility and benevolence, but they are not the same in how they function. Benevolence is treating others with loving kindness, extending that to them. Humility is allowing yourself some loving kindness, allowing yourself to be wounded and allowing yourself to heal.

    Out of that, you are able to show benevolence, or loving kindness towards others, you've allowed yourself to touch the negative and you've survived it, life tried to beat you down but you didn't let it keep you down.

    In all that I guess forgiveness is kind of built in, how else do you love yourself when life beats you down. I think after a while, diligence is built in too because once you see the truth, you can no longer deny it and honesty, wow, none of this is possible without some of that. None of it. You have to first be true to yourself, I suppose, even the narcisists. So out of honesty arises diversity, each person unique in the world. Expect that and more.
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    Dec 25, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    Perserverance said
    unfounded7 said
    She wanted to get into heaven.

    What about you?


    Are you asking me if I want to get into heaven?
  • O5vx

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    Dec 25, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    I dont believe in perfection of humanity. I believe in a better individual. This better individual consist of a person striving to become the best that he can possibly be. Showing empathy, being sensitive to other people's opinion, learning to respect what makes others unique, giving people duly won recognition is all a part of becoming a better human being. We all have long ways to go. We need to constantly remind ourselves that life should not be just about one'self, but about the type of society that you helped in creating.