Behaviors Modification

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    Dec 25, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    Oh, right, so back on topic.
    The qualities of a perfect human being = me.
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    Dec 25, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    Roguewave saidtumblr_m7tkwbgn4x1qa0v77o1_500.gif?w=580

    Would you believe I WAS that Curruptive influence until I was about 14?

    True story, but not proud of it. icon_neutral.gif
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    Dec 25, 2012 8:59 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Perserverance said
    unfounded7 said
    She wanted to get into heaven.

    What about you?

    Are you asking me if I want to get into heaven?

    If you think being a better person is just for getting you into heaven then have you ever try to be a better person for other motive?
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    Dec 25, 2012 9:01 PM GMT

    In "Behavior Modification" as in "Kill Bill" an important life lesson is to be learned.
    It is so important to "let bygones be bygones" and to "keep and eye out" for opportunities to just "walk away" from unhealthy confrontation.


    using movie I like to make a good point. Goodjob!
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    Dec 25, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Perserverance saidanitjock-Very well written. I fully respect and see your reasoning. I guess I need to expect less from other people. I still have a lot to learn.

    Now what does Buddhism have to say about duality? You don't really have to go from unreal expectations to none. Everything isn't either/or. Certainly it would be depressing to go through life thinking you "need to expect less from other people" and then is it right thinking to always think in depressing ways? And as I suggested, people will surprise you. Let them. But when they disappoint, being reactive might not be a strength while being reflective might not be a weakness.

    And if someone then says, oh, you're just being butthurt, well, then you can just go tell them to fuck off and click ignore. Because they don't give a shit about someone else's feelings.

    Perserverance said
    minox said...The important quality you forgot is : humility, a trademark of all great spiritual peoples in my book, the ones who focus on helping others more than helping themselves ;-)

    Benevolence is very similar to humility

    Minox had a real good point on humility because it really seems to unlock a lot of the other stuff which allows for change you seek. Indeed, you can look at the narcisist as the opposite of humble, rather arrogant, and isn't that a person less likely to avail themselves to change. Why change once you've deluded yourself into thinking you're sitting on top of the world.

    Perserverance said

    Awareness of negative emotion
    Willingness to control and restraint oneself of negative thoughts and behaviors, Honesty

    So I think you are right that there's a connection between humility and benevolence, but they are not the same in how they function. Benevolence is treating others with loving kindness, extending that to them. Humility is allowing yourself some loving kindness, allowing yourself to be wounded and allowing yourself to heal.

    Out of that, you are able to show benevolence, or loving kindness towards others, you've allowed yourself to touch the negative and you've survived it, life tried to beat you down but you didn't let it keep you down.

    In all that I guess forgiveness is kind of built in, how else do you love yourself when life beats you down. I think after a while, diligence is built in too because once you see the truth, you can no longer deny it and honesty, wow, none of this is possible without some of that. None of it. You have to first be true to yourself, I suppose, even the narcisists. So out of honesty arises diversity, each person unique in the world. Expect that and more.

    Very insightful. You force me to think. I thank you and appreciate your comments.