My girl friend's boyfriend is on gay hookup websites...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:27 PM GMT
    I like dirkuruman says to use the approach of hey man your picture is being stolen just show it to him and see what he does.
    other wise just show it to her.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:35 PM GMT
    LuckyGuyKC saidTell the guy not the girl that someone might have stolen his facebook pic and don't accuse him of anything. If he confesses or gets defensive you might need to consider trying to help him resolve his issues as a gay man. be cool about it .... he's confused.


    Yea I'd probably do this, except I'd let him resolve his own gay issues. And if he is cheating he will probably tell the guys friends because he thinks she will have already found out.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Dec 27, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    Butt out.

    Stay out.

    NONE of YOUR business icon_exclaim.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:54 PM GMT
    Somebody could be just using his picture...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    TheAlchemixt saidSomebody could be just using his picture...

    In which case, the guy should know. Imagine that someone else he knows sees it and then does it all wrong and tells his girl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    I saw a pic of a guy on some hookup site. The profile stated that he was online the day before. The guy went to my high school and passed away this past summer. That was proof enough of someone stealing pics.

    With your situation, I'm not sure... I guess I'd just leave him alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:01 PM GMT
    IceBuckets said
    TheAlchemixt saidSomebody could be just using his picture...

    In which case, the guy should know. Imagine that someone else he knows sees it and then does it all wrong and tells his girl.


    I agree.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent saidIt's troubling that most guys in this thread think the OP should do nothing. A straight woman could be in danger. Yet you guys don't seem to care.


    I usually agree with you, BMG, but the whole "straight woman could be in danger" thing smacks of sexism to me. They're not some fragile flowers we need to protect from the gay.

    To me, this is nothing more than a common Dear Abby type of problem. "I think my friend's significant other is cheating on them, what do I do?"

    Lots of possible answers, depending on where the OP's loyalty lies. It's even tougher because he's not sure.

    If he talks to the boyfriend, he's likely to get a denial and push him further into the closet, which isn't helpful. If he talks to the girlfriend, he risks her blaming him for the breakup of her relationship. If he does nothing, he risks her hurt if/when she eventually finds out, especially if she finds out he had suspicions. Assuming she doesn't know already.

    I would probably treat it as none of my business, unless I had a super close relationship with the girlfriend and was willing to risk her anger at me for interfering.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    showme said
    BlkMuscleGent saidIt's troubling that most guys in this thread think the OP should do nothing. A straight woman could be in danger. Yet you guys don't seem to care.


    I usually agree with you, BMG, but the whole "straight woman could be in danger" thing smacks of sexism to me. They're not some fragile flowers we need to protect from the gay.

    To me, this is nothing more than a common Dear Abby type of problem. "I think my friend's significant other is cheating on them, what do I do?"

    Lots of possible answers, depending on where the OP's loyalty lies. It's even tougher because he's not sure.

    If he talks to the boyfriend, he's likely to get a denial and push him further into the closet, which isn't helpful. If he talks to the girlfriend, he risks her blaming him for the breakup of her relationship. If he does nothing, he risks her hurt if/when she eventually finds out, especially if she finds out he had suspicions. Assuming she doesn't know already.

    I would probably treat it as none of my business, unless I had a super close relationship with the girlfriend and was willing to risk her anger at me for interfering.




    Hence why he should treat non-accusatory. As if someone else IS using his pics.

    "Hey so and so. I think someone stole your pics."
    "Huh?"
    "Yeah I was on xyz.org and saw your Facebook pics."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    ^ I'm not sure what good that will do. If it is him, all it will do is push him to change the profile. He'll do the same thing somewhere else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    showme said
    BlkMuscleGent saidIt's troubling that most guys in this thread think the OP should do nothing. A straight woman could be in danger. Yet you guys don't seem to care.


    If he talks to the boyfriend, he's likely to get a denial and push him further into the closet, which isn't helpful. If he talks to the girlfriend, he risks her blaming him for the breakup of her relationship. If he does nothing, he risks her hurt if/when she eventually finds out, especially if she finds out he had suspicions. Assuming she doesn't know already.

    I would probably treat it as none of my business, unless I had a super close relationship with the girlfriend and was willing to risk her anger at me for interfering.





    Yeah it all depends on the OP's relationship with the girl.

    See if I had a really close girlfriend and this happened to her, I would invite her over and tell her very positively and cautiously. Just tell her, "I don't want you to freak out or panic, but blah blah blah" and then calmly tell her "It could mean that he is gay and he isn't ready to come out or it could mean that someone's stealing his photos which isn't uncommon."

    But I would do that with reallllllly close friends, like you told her EVERYTHING friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:16 PM GMT
    I will tell her, without passing judgment. I would also like my close friends to tell me if they ever see such a thing with my boyfriend. If she is just a friend like not a close one, I will ignore it. But with close friends I feel differently.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    The face is blocked out.... how do you know its him, Is this merely conjecture or do you have solid proof?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    TalShiar saidThe face is blocked out.... how do you know its him, Is this merely conjecture or do you have solid proof?

    If you took a pic of yours and just blocked out the face, you know it's the same person based on the clothes, the background. It's easy to identify identical photos. It's less about the person and more about the photos surroundings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:28 PM GMT
    If you really want to help, which I think I'd do if I was in your shoes, I would talk first with your girl friend's boyfriend to get his side of the story before making more conclusions or assuming things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:29 PM GMT
    Why the heck you got to interfere with everything, Keep yer nose out of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    Yeah, chances are high that his pic was stolen... I've seen my own pics on other websites, including my own face and my private locked pics!! What the hell is THAT? Just goes to show you that there are some really low-down skanks out there!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    RoccoO saidYeah, chances are high that his pic was stolen... I've seen my own pics on other websites, including my own face and my private locked pics!! What the hell is THAT? Just goes to show you that there are some really low-down skanks out there!!!


    I didn't do it, I swear! I swear!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    IceBuckets said
    TalShiar saidThe face is blocked out.... how do you know its him, Is this merely conjecture or do you have solid proof?

    If you took a pic of yours and just blocked out the face, you know it's the same person based on the clothes, the background. It's easy to identify identical photos. It's less about the person and more about the photos surroundings.


    In an age of massed produced clothing and cookie cutter restaurants/bars/stores. They live in the same area, it's easily possible to have photo's be similar to each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    Umm again I think people missed the point.
    It's not really about sexism because it's a "woman" in danger, it's that he has a friend who is potentially at harm by another person's actions whether it's emotional or physical.
    Again I don't know how some people can say it's no-one's business because the fact that he stumbled across it by chance inadvertantly got him involved in some small degree, and generally people like to protect their friends if they can, hence the thread.

    It's not like he's meddling for the sake of meddling, but like some other posts have said here, if he'd been sleeping around with other people and worse case scenario she were to catch something off him, that on top of the emotional ache of being cheated on.
    I don't see how someone could turn a blind eye especially if it's a friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    You should try to get a threeway going with your gf and bf. This would make for easier conversation about all the other stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    If your girlfriend is serious about this guy then she has to know. If someone can lie about this then what else can they lie in the future.

    I would say to tell her if you are best friend with her. If not ignore it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:59 PM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidUmm again I think people missed the point.
    It's not really about sexism because it's a "woman" in danger, it's that he has a friend who is potentially at harm by another person's actions whether it's emotional or physical.
    Again I don't know how some people can say it's no-one's business because the fact that he stumbled across it by chance inadvertantly got him involved in some small degree, and generally people like to protect their friends if they can, hence the thread.

    It's not like he's meddling for the sake of meddling, but like some other posts have said here, if he'd been sleeping around with other people and worse case scenario she were to catch something off him, that on top of the emotional ache of being cheated on.
    I don't see how someone could turn a blind eye especially if it's a friend.


    Some people will turn a blind eye if it's just a "friend" and not a "close friend" lol

    As for me, I don't care how close of a friend they are. If I know they're involved with someone and then a scenario like this is present, at the very least i'd pay attention to it and talk to the guy and the girl and see if i can clear it up.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 5:03 PM GMT
    ^ Meddlesome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    Confront him and blackmail him for sexual favors. icon_twisted.gif
    cfaf406a 90f2 41cb 8931 1343f45a9a28