Serodiscordant Sex — Would you?

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    Feb 08, 2013 1:00 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Wyatt saidDon't expect me to read any other responses or answer any.

    Cool, so I'll just repeat then that you're an idiot, knowing I can do so with impunity and you'll not comment. icon_lol.gif

    Everyone who is HIV+ was negative at one point. Then they were positive for a time (even a month or two, if they got regularly tested) without knowing it. And then they were positive and knew it and most are successfully treating it. Why you will be one of the statistics is found in this paragraph and your replies. You're just too stupid to see it. icon_wink.gif


    Not only this, but HIV that is treated is much harder to infect another person than someone who is positive and doesnt know it.

    Viral load is huge in determining chance for infection. You are safer having sex with a positive man with a zero load than a negative man who doesnt know he is positive...if that makes sense...
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:02 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    yourname2000 said
    Wyatt saidDon't expect me to read any other responses or answer any.

    Cool, so I'll just repeat then that you're an idiot, knowing I can do so with impunity and you'll not comment. icon_lol.gif

    Everyone who is HIV+ was negative at one point. Then they were positive for a time (even a month or two, if they got regularly tested) without knowing it. And then they were positive and knew it and most are successfully treating it. Why you will be one of the statistics is found in this paragraph and your replies. You're just too stupid to see it. icon_wink.gif


    Not only this, but HIV that is treated is much harder to infect another person than someone who is positive and doesnt know it.

    Viral load is huge in determining chance for infection. You are safer having sex with a positive man with a zero load than a negative man who doesnt know he is positive...if that makes sense...


    +1 Yup, OP, read my reply on the end of the first page. I know what I talk about.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    ^^ Knowledge is power! (and more people to screw)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:04 AM GMT
    Chainers said^^ Knowledge is power! (and more people to screw)


    No shit!
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:08 AM GMT
    This is one of those either/or threads where it's formulation really only leaves for one possible answer that will be accepted while the other will be judged and reviled.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:10 AM GMT
    won't even touch the issue of safe vs. unsafe sex here then, Wyatt, as surely you are no man's fool in that regard.

    Nevertheless - what you cannot count on will be the chance of condoms breaking and the possibility that your sex partner is in fact poz but has not had time to get his test results back (or gods forbid ... he is totally lying about his status and/or testing cycles.

    Unless you do the diligence of either not having sex at all for six months into a strictly monogamous relationship with two negative tests done at the day zero, the three month, and the six month mark... you have no way of knowing that your partner is 100% neg.

    And even then, that is only as good as your and his commitment to be solely monogamous to each other.

    Of course you just may well be that kind of careful to a fault, and if that is the case - then kudos to you.

    However, I suspect that there is an odd chance that you might have less than a sinlessly perfect level of diligence in the matter, which would lend a bit bit of a self-righteous shine to your perhaps judgmental statement.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:13 AM GMT
    Roguewave said
    Chainers said^^ Knowledge is power! (and more people to screw)


    No shit!


    +1000000 interwebz
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Feb 08, 2013 1:17 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Wyatt saidDon't expect me to read any other responses or answer any.

    Cool, so I'll just repeat then that you're an idiot, knowing I can do so with impunity and you'll not comment. icon_lol.gif

    Everyone who is HIV+ was negative at one point. Then they were positive for a time (even a month or two, if they got regularly tested) without knowing it. And then they were positive and knew it and most are successfully treating it. Why you will be one of the statistics is found in this paragraph and your replies. You're just too stupid to see it. icon_wink.gif


    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    Mr. Dave with words of wisdom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    Medjai said

    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.


    Hate to break it to ya bud, you probably have already had sex with someone who is poz
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Medjai said
    yourname2000 said
    Wyatt saidDon't expect me to read any other responses or answer any.

    Cool, so I'll just repeat then that you're an idiot, knowing I can do so with impunity and you'll not comment. icon_lol.gif

    Everyone who is HIV+ was negative at one point. Then they were positive for a time (even a month or two, if they got regularly tested) without knowing it. And then they were positive and knew it and most are successfully treating it. Why you will be one of the statistics is found in this paragraph and your replies. You're just too stupid to see it. icon_wink.gif


    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.

    Cool story bro!

    But really what I'm saying is: pretend everyone is positive. icon_wink.gif Don't trust what someone says and don't assume they were just tested (and haven't had sex since).


    THIS
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Feb 08, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Medjai said
    yourname2000 said
    Wyatt saidDon't expect me to read any other responses or answer any.

    Cool, so I'll just repeat then that you're an idiot, knowing I can do so with impunity and you'll not comment. icon_lol.gif

    Everyone who is HIV+ was negative at one point. Then they were positive for a time (even a month or two, if they got regularly tested) without knowing it. And then they were positive and knew it and most are successfully treating it. Why you will be one of the statistics is found in this paragraph and your replies. You're just too stupid to see it. icon_wink.gif


    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.

    Cool story bro!

    But really what I'm saying is: pretend everyone is positive. icon_wink.gif Don't trust what someone says and don't assume they were just tested (and haven't had sex since).


    Fair precaution.

    I just don't like people not comfortable being demonized. You have your view, I respect that, and never said anything negative about it. I do see my perspective being insulted and belittled when there is no reason to do so...
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Feb 08, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    Roguewave said
    Medjai said

    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.


    Hate to break it to ya bud, you probably have already had sex with someone who is poz


    Hate to break it to you, but you don't know enough about my sexual history to make that statement.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:25 AM GMT
    Medjai said
    Roguewave said
    Medjai said

    It's all about priorities. You say 'why would I give up intimacy when the health risk is so minimal' whereas I prioritize the opposite. I value my health highly, and am not willing to risk it for intimacy. I have no issue with a poz individual as a person, it just doesn't fit my priorities.


    Hate to break it to ya bud, you probably have already had sex with someone who is poz


    Hate to break it to you, but you don't know enough about my sexual history to make that statement.


    Hate to break it to you, but you don't know enough about HIV to counter his statement.
  • Medjai

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    Feb 08, 2013 1:30 AM GMT
    Chainers saidHate to break it to you, but you don't know enough about HIV to counter his statement.


    No, I'm pretty sure my sexual history trumps, in this situation.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:31 AM GMT
    ^^so you are a virgin?

    No wonder you are so bitter...
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:32 AM GMT
    Chainers said^^so you are a virgin?

    No wonder you are so bitter...


    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Medjai

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    Feb 08, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    Chainers said^^so you are a virgin?

    No wonder you are so bitter...


    No, but it's limited enough that I know. People I saw the results for and were too shy to cheat, other virgins, and my current boyfriend. Not poz guys.

    Not everyone sleeps with people who have unknown sexual histories and who's word can't be trusted.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:36 AM GMT
    Medjai said
    Chainers said^^so you are a virgin?

    No wonder you are so bitter...


    No, but it's limited enough that I know. People I saw the results for and were too shy to cheat, other virgins, and my current boyfriend. Not poz guys.

    Not everyone sleeps with people who have unknown sexual histories and who's word can't be trusted.


    Ummmmmmmmmmmm


    yea..........


    you think people intentionally lie about being HIV? One of the biggest obstacles I faced when trying to get laid in Grindr was being negative, because they were positive and didnt want to risk transfering the virus, even if it is less than 1%.

    HIV gets transfered because 1 in 5 infected individuals dont know they have HIV...and then they have sex with others.
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:38 AM GMT
    damn that would totally ruin the moment when he asks you to show your latest reports, when they were dated, and what the results were, like every time
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:38 AM GMT
    Roguewave saiddamn that would totally ruin the moment when he asks you to show your latest reports, when they were dated, and what the results were, like every time


    I know, I much prefer to give him a condom and say "Does this fit?"

    Much easier haha!
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    Feb 08, 2013 1:39 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    Roguewave saiddamn that would totally ruin the moment when he asks you to show your latest reports, when they were dated, and what the results were, like every time


    I know, I much prefer to give him a condom and say "Does this fit?"

    Much easier haha!


    Inorite? Dont forget the little bit of lube BEFORE it goes on
  • Medjai

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    Feb 08, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    Chainers saidUmmmmmmmmmmmm


    yea..........


    you think people intentionally lie about being HIV? One of the biggest obstacles I faced when trying to get laid in Grindr was being negative, because they were positive and didnt want to risk transfering the virus, even if it is less than 1%.

    HIV gets transfered because 1 in 5 infected individuals dont know they have HIV...and then they have sex with others.


    I have no problem with you sleeping with who you want. That's a personal choice you are entitled to make by any qualifier you choose. I do the same. I sleep with people I trust, and people who I know aren't poz. It's my call to make.

    Every choice has pros and cons. I find mine fit my priorities better, just like you've made choices that fit yours. Nothing more.
  • Medjai

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    Feb 08, 2013 1:46 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Medjai saidI just don't like people not comfortable being demonized. You have your view, I respect that, and never said anything negative about it. I do see my perspective being insulted and belittled when there is no reason to do so...

    The reason is because it's illogical. As many have already pointed out. icon_wink.gif

    I actually don't put you in the same category as the Wyatt guy. And I don't have a problem with guys who prefer to not sleep with poz guys because they just don't think they'd be able to relax and enjoy themselves --that's not fair to the poz guy frankly. I do have a problem with guys who delude themselves into thinking that by not sleeping with poz guys that they're not sleeping with poz guys....they are, and they just don't know it. And that's a very dangerous place to be.

    Too many people like Wyatt end up being self-deluded loaded guns walking around fucking neg guys and infecting them and don't find out they're positive themselves until someone they sleep with tells them "hey: you infected me".

    I ask "when was the last time you were tested" because I want to have that convo. As to the "are you - or +" question, there is no wrong answer for me: it might change things a bit if a guy says he's poz, but I'm not taking extra risks with guys who claim to be neg anyway. But if a guy says "I've never been tested" or it's been forever since he's been tested or he's afraid of being tested....that's an automatic "get the fuck out of my bed....NOW!"


    I appreciate not being lumped in.

    Bear in mind: I'm neurotic. I can't sleep with a messy house, and can't walk down a street without avoiding the cracks. A poz or possibly poz guy is not something I could reconcile.
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    Feb 08, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    Nabisco saidThis is one of those either/or threads where it's formulation really only leaves for one possible answer that will be accepted while the other will be judged and reviled.


    True....with a caveat. And there are lots of little "gotchas" in the fine print. You're supposed to say yes you would. but I can think of a couple of instances where it's a poor decision, not matter how non-PC. If someone is an IV Drug user and still actively using, you're rejecting them has little/nothing to do with any virus they have, but it's not PC to reject.

    Also, If someone won't seek out care at all no matter how much you support them, it's impossible to date, but it's not PC to say that either. Compare these 2 scenarios:

    "I was dating Joe, he's diabetic..and he refused to take his inlsulin..so it was constantly creating drama that I saw as as needless"

    Other: "That's understandable, he's grandstanding and holding your relationship hostage with his unresolved but manageable healthcare"

    Versus

    "I was dating Joe, he has HIV...and he refused to get any sort of treatment for it...I exhausted myself in every way being supportive and his excuse was always that I didn't understand"

    Other: "you should have done more, you're a bad person...how dare you?"