My issue with whites/caucasians

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    AsexualAthlete saidto the OP, If you're serious and NOT a troll, let me tell you. I used to be just like you, It actually made me depressed, I tried to kill myself, then I woke up and got over it (long story short). I realized, Does a significant amount of the mainstream gay community prefer and glorify caucasians? absolutely. Does it mean you're doomed? NOT necessarily...but if you don't respect yourself or race, then no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that, but when I did, it was extremely liberating. There are tons of guys I am attracted to who simply don't prefer guys of my racial background..and even though I am asexual, I'm pretty sure the dating pool for NON-whites (especially Blacks and Asians) is smaller than for your average european dude.....but there are also a lot of open minded/diverse guys who don't care about racial background or actually may PREFER your race. However, making a post about it, isn't going to help, you can't GUILT someone into liking you.


    This guy said it best. Not too sound too harsh here, but I thank God I'm not Asian or black. The amount of self loathing and disrespect I see some of them have for themselves and culture is sickening. You are only going to break stereotypes by setting an example. And some if y'all are pretty Godamn bad examples for your communities. As a double minority we have a little extra burden we have to carry in this world. And just as you won't wake up one day to be straight, you also won't wake up in a different skin. So learn to deal with it and embrace your differences. I do, and I get more dick than I know what to do with. It's one reason I made the Latino thread and why it's done so well. Because we embrace our culture, and each other, without tearing each other down. We also don't jump down the throats of anyone with a legitimate question or comment about our culture. Not everyone is going to like you, move on. Shaming and bitching about it makes no one attractive.

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    Feb 18, 2013 6:38 AM GMT
    I'm curious, why in the hell are all the hot Asian guys in California and Canada??? Some PLEASE explain that one to me...

    tumblr_m8t8r1lGe81rrgkzy.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    BOO HOO I HATE WHITE MEN CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME!
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    Feb 18, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    viitz saidRuPaul_If_You_Cant-.png



    Amen! Oh OP take it from a fellow Asian guy who has always been a wallflower. Work on your personality, and people of all races will love you.

    Never had a problem in the attracting department ( except I fall for straight men a lot, but that's another story ) and it's because I believe in myself.

    Quite frankly, is it just white men that don't like you? Coz, in all honestly, I don't even like you right now.

    Please don't take offense. Listen to the guys on here. Put a smile on your face and be the beautiful, exotic guy that I know you can be. Ya hear?
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1132

    Feb 18, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    highforthis said

    Yeah quote me while i'm drunk... but even now your hypocrisy is obvious. The fact that someone who looks like you has been with "drop dead gorgeous" Asian guys means the system is working for you too. Only difference is I'm honest to myself about it. But is it really wrong? Afterall who would waste $40 on a plain t-shirt at American Apparel when they can get a cashmere sweater at H&M for the same price lol.


    What a disgusting analogy/sentiment.
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Feb 18, 2013 7:28 AM GMT
    redacting said
    highforthis said
    jtz03932 saidI find caucasian guys (who are not into asians) are always silent in a thread like this.


    Ok, I'll admit lol... I date Asians about 25% of the time, but only because with them I can date "above my looks". I'm sure many guys who claim to be open to all races secretly have these double standards icon_wink.gif


    This is despicable.


    But oh so very VERY true.
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    Feb 18, 2013 7:37 AM GMT
    TerraFirma saidI'd date me. LOL icon_biggrin.gif


    i'd date you too!

    to the op ,work out, muscles always work.
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    Feb 18, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    7Famark saidYou don't hate me because I'm white, I'm white because you hate me.


    +10000000000000000000000icon_biggrin.gif
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Feb 18, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    ASHDOD said
    TerraFirma saidI'd date me. LOL icon_biggrin.gif


    i'd date you too!

    to the op ,work out, muscles always work.

    because...
    Ok, I'll admit lol... I date Asians about 25% of the time, but only because with them I can date "above my looks"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 8:11 AM GMT
    highforthis said
    redacting said
    highforthis said
    jtz03932 saidI find caucasian guys (who are not into asians) are always silent in a thread like this.


    Ok, I'll admit lol... I date Asians about 25% of the time, but only because with them I can date "above my looks". I'm sure many guys who claim to be open to all races secretly have these double standards icon_wink.gif


    This is despicable.


    Yeah quote me while i'm drunk... but even now your hypocrisy is obvious. The fact that someone who looks like you has been with "drop dead gorgeous" Asian guys means the system is working for you too. Only difference is I'm honest to myself about it. But is it really wrong? Afterall who would waste $40 on a plain t-shirt at American Apparel when they can get a cashmere sweater at H&M for the same price lol.


    I have never "dated above my looks" because I don't view relationships in such disgusting terms.
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    Feb 18, 2013 8:49 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    AsexualAthlete saidto the OP, If you're serious and NOT a troll, let me tell you. I used to be just like you, It actually made me depressed, I tried to kill myself, then I woke up and got over it (long story short). I realized, Does a significant amount of the mainstream gay community prefer and glorify caucasians? absolutely. Does it mean you're doomed? NOT necessarily...but if you don't respect yourself or race, then no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that, but when I did, it was extremely liberating. There are tons of guys I am attracted to who simply don't prefer guys of my racial background..and even though I am asexual, I'm pretty sure the dating pool for NON-whites (especially Blacks and Asians) is smaller than for your average european dude.....but there are also a lot of open minded/diverse guys who don't care about racial background or actually may PREFER your race. However, making a post about it, isn't going to help, you can't GUILT someone into liking you.


    This guy said it best. Not too sound too harsh here, but I thank God I'm not Asian or black. The amount of self loathing and disrespect I see some of them have for themselves and culture is sickening. You are only going to break stereotypes by setting an example. And some if y'all are pretty Godamn bad examples for your communities. As a double minority we have a little extra burden we have to carry in this world. And just as you won't wake up one day to be straight, you also won't wake up in a different skin. So learn to deal with it and embrace your differences. I do, and I get more dick than I know what to do with. It's one reason I made the Latino thread and why it's done so well. Because we embrace our culture, and each other, without tearing each other down. We also don't jump down the throats of anyone with a legitimate question or comment about our culture. Not everyone is going to like you, move on. Shaming and bitching about it makes no one attractive.



    Getting more dick in craigslist doesn't count. It is true that bitching makes it no more attractive but it does get the point across. Asians are oppressed in the gay community. Since the majority of the people here in this side of the country is Caucasian, they treat me like I never existed. Never responding to my messages, or reply with a snark on their faces. I am sure I am speaking for the majority of the Asians out there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 9:03 AM GMT
    Did you really just start a thread about people not dating Asians, then say you don't date Asians AND stereotype all Asians as thin and athletic...

    If people don't respond to you, its because they don't want to. Would you rather someone be like, well I don't really find him attractive but I can fuck with him for a little while!


  • deep388

    Posts: 916

    Feb 18, 2013 9:32 AM GMT
    Some people just aren't attracted to Asians, some people are but don't want to admit it due to peer pressure, some just don't even know but are conditioned to think that Asians aren't as attractive as Caucasian. Some people are just assholes.

    Its the same if you were fat, Maori, Jamaican, red headed, skinny, hung, whatever. It is not something you can change about yourself nor something you should need to or even worry about.

    Its trite, but if someone doesn't like you for who you are, is there any great loss there?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 9:33 AM GMT
    jtz03932- Yeah I don't think people are responding to you being asian. I think they are responding to you being an asshole. If the content of your message is any indication, I'd be making the "snark" face too.
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    Feb 18, 2013 9:37 AM GMT
    AsexualAthlete saidto the OP, If you're serious and NOT a troll, let me tell you. I used to be just like you, It actually made me depressed, I tried to kill myself, then I woke up and got over it (long story short). I realized, Does a significant amount of the mainstream gay community prefer and glorify caucasians? absolutely. Does it mean you're doomed? NOT necessarily...but if you don't respect yourself or race, then no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that, but when I did, it was extremely liberating. There are tons of guys I am attracted to who simply don't prefer guys of my racial background..and even though I am asexual, I'm pretty sure the dating pool for NON-whites (especially Blacks and Asians) is smaller than for your average european dude.....but there are also a lot of open minded/diverse guys who don't care about racial background or actually may PREFER your race. However, making a post about it, isn't going to help, you can't GUILT someone into liking you.


    Hmmm. if only people would take the same approach to "gay on gay" hating then how much more liberation would the gay 'community' achieve (even though so many people some even on this site don't even believe that the gay people are a community).

    Tangent aside, back to the OP ask yourself why it "has" to be a white guy.
    If you've broadened your horizons and found that caucasians and asians don't respond to you, there may be a chance that it's not your race but, I don't know, maybe a personality issue that is the problem.

    Albeit yes you have pointed out some unfortunate societal truths in that generally the gay world for men favour caucasians over other races, and yes some asians don't even like their own race which again is unfortunate.
    However, the thing with this post is that you in many ways just add to the stereotype and therein lies the problem.

    I imagine a caucasian person reading this would not find this attractive and it will just fuel the other asian-hating asians too.
    So like what another person said on this thread, the best way to tackle this kind of a situation is to be an example of the change you want to see.
    Since clearly words have not been the best tool, I suppose the only option left is to let your actions speak louder than your words.
    It won't have a massive effect on the whole gay population, BUT it will be somewhat of an influence to your immediate environment, and that's often how change begins.

    Don't get me wrong I'm not having a go at you, it's not like I have any guys barking up my tree.
    To be honest I share a lot of your plight because I myself am also excluded out of many people's preferences which could possibly be due to my race since I am also asian, and I have experienced asian-hating asians myself.

    All I've done so far, to help keep your sanity as well, is just keep an open mind when it comes to topics like race and just hope that people will see that, appreciate it and maybe take it on board too. There's little else you can do, attraction is such a finicky thing because it's largely subjective and it doesn't always necessarily mean that if someone isn't sexually attracted to a specific race that they are 'racist'.

    Some people are happy to be friends with and get to know people of other races but when it comes to sexual attraction they may just have a particular race they find that in, so really when it's something like that there isn't much you can do. The heart wants what it wants, so to speak.
    You have to at least give people the benefit of that doubt, and if you do find that it is in fact because of a racist perspective they don't 'like' another race then don't even give 2 shits about them because they aren't worth it.

    Anyway, I hope you receive this well because I meant you well.
    Eventually when you find someone, this will all seem trivial but at least in the mean time you aren't alone with this kind of experience.

    P.S. sorry for the shit-storm long ass post, I've tried to have less serious posts to cut down how often I make lengthy responses. I just have one or two every once in a while now, or am at least trying to keep it that way.
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:52 PM GMT
    jtz03932 saidI am sure I am speaking for the majority of the Asians out there.


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    Feb 18, 2013 1:19 PM GMT
    AsexualAthlete saidto the OP, If you're serious and NOT a troll, let me tell you. I used to be just like you, It actually made me depressed, I tried to kill myself, then I woke up and got over it (long story short). I realized, Does a significant amount of the mainstream gay community prefer and glorify caucasians? absolutely. Does it mean you're doomed? NOT necessarily...but if you don't respect yourself or race, then no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that, but when I did, it was extremely liberating. There are tons of guys I am attracted to who simply don't prefer guys of my racial background..and even though I am asexual, I'm pretty sure the dating pool for NON-whites (especially Blacks and Asians) is smaller than for your average european dude.....but there are also a lot of open minded/diverse guys who don't care about racial background or actually may PREFER your race. However, making a post about it, isn't going to help, you can't GUILT someone into liking you.


    Finally I feel like it was worth reading through all the crap. Great response AsexualAthlete!
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1822

    Feb 18, 2013 1:27 PM GMT
    White people can't help that they're so popular.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:03 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 said
    AsexualAthlete saidto the OP, If you're serious and NOT a troll, let me tell you. I used to be just like you, It actually made me depressed, I tried to kill myself, then I woke up and got over it (long story short). I realized, Does a significant amount of the mainstream gay community prefer and glorify caucasians? absolutely. Does it mean you're doomed? NOT necessarily...but if you don't respect yourself or race, then no one else will either. It took me a long time to learn that, but when I did, it was extremely liberating. There are tons of guys I am attracted to who simply don't prefer guys of my racial background..and even though I am asexual, I'm pretty sure the dating pool for NON-whites (especially Blacks and Asians) is smaller than for your average european dude.....but there are also a lot of open minded/diverse guys who don't care about racial background or actually may PREFER your race. However, making a post about it, isn't going to help, you can't GUILT someone into liking you.


    This guy said it best. Not too sound too harsh here, but I thank God I'm not Asian or black. The amount of self loathing and disrespect I see some of them have for themselves and culture is sickening. You are only going to break stereotypes by setting an example. And some if y'all are pretty Godamn bad examples for your communities. As a double minority we have a little extra burden we have to carry in this world. And just as you won't wake up one day to be straight, you also won't wake up in a different skin. So learn to deal with it and embrace your differences. I do, and I get more dick than I know what to do with. It's one reason I made the Latino thread and why it's done so well. Because we embrace our culture, and each other, without tearing each other down. We also don't jump down the throats of anyone with a legitimate question or comment about our culture. Not everyone is going to like you, move on. Shaming and bitching about it makes no one attractive.



    Even You can be serious!
    It means no difficulty can not be conquered!
    Cheer up, OP!
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:04 PM GMT
    blasiankid saidI'm curious, why in the hell are all the hot Asian guys in California and Canada??? Some PLEASE explain that one to me...

    tumblr_m8t8r1lGe81rrgkzy.gif


    Because they are more desirable there?
  • Beastmode

    Posts: 213

    Feb 18, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    Wow that is one serious vent mate.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:11 PM GMT
    These redundant topics about racial preferences when it comes to dating are pointless! Date whomever makes you happy and keep it moving. Getting hung up on the likes and dislikes of others, is a total waste of time!!!
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:11 PM GMT
    jtz03932 said

    Getting more dick in craigslist doesn't count. It is true that bitching makes it no more attractive but it does get the point across. Asians are oppressed in the gay community. Since the majority of the people here in this side of the country is Caucasian, they treat me like I never existed. Never responding to my messages, or reply with a snark on their faces. I am sure I am speaking for the majority of the Asians out there.


    tumblr_ljm4um3piL1qgsbsv.gif
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:14 PM GMT
    gayusasian82 said
    blasiankid saidI'm curious, why in the hell are all the hot Asian guys in California and Canada??? Some PLEASE explain that one to me...

    tumblr_m8t8r1lGe81rrgkzy.gif


    Because they are more desirable there?

    Are they really?? I mean considering the person who created this crazy ass bitchfest is from Canada, I have to question that.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:22 PM GMT
    blasiankid said
    gayusasian82 said
    blasiankid saidI'm curious, why in the hell are all the hot Asian guys in California and Canada??? Some PLEASE explain that one to me...

    tumblr_m8t8r1lGe81rrgkzy.gif


    Because they are more desirable there?

    Are they really?? I mean considering the person who created this crazy ass bitchfest is from Canada, I have to question that.


    Canada I don't know.
    I have so many problems with English, let alone French.

    But I belie e Cali is a nice choice for gaysians.