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What do you do when a guy suddenly re-appears

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    Have learned quickly to move on in my dating experiences from people who aren't worth my time and who don't treat me with respect.

    But also believe in second chances and people going through phases.

    There's this guy I dated for two months who suddenly disappeared for no reason; a month later we had weird on/off texting but failed to meet up because we both suck at scheduling; then we stopped talking for months.

    Now all of a sudden he 'adds' me on instagram. I hate social media and how it's started to affect actual relationships. I had once followed him; he never bothered to follow me back, and after I thought I had moved on from him I un-followed him. Pretty passive aggressive?

    So, he doesn't have the balls to text me or tell me that he wants to be friends, or that he wants to go on a date again, but he slyly adds me on social media?

    Is he just fucking around with me, trying to coax a reaction, or is he interested in me again?

    Do I react to this, play the game, 'add him' or something, or do I just ignore him and leave it to him to either speak up or have me forget about him again?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 5:06 AM GMT
    Life is too short and precious to waste on flakes.

    Oh, the Instagram could be by accident. Are you guys friends on Facebook because when you sign up for Instagram on Facebook, you can add all of your friends without knowing who exactly you're adding?

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  • Jerebear

    Posts: 329

    Mar 07, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
    He simply wants to follow you on instagram...no coded message, no games being played....no need for analysis....is that not a possibility?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 5:28 AM GMT
    witch!
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  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Mar 07, 2013 5:34 AM GMT
    sounds like he likes looking at u and merely just wants to do that
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:48 AM GMT
    I read carefully what you wrote, and then I went back and re-read the part where you wrote that you dated him for two months and then he disappeared for no reason. This is not someone you want to give the time of day to, IMO. You know you deserve better treatment. Dismiss him entirely - - - - - that is the advice one of the brightest guys in my life gave me once - in a similar situation. I'll pass it along to you at this time when it looks like you can use it.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:56 AM GMT
    I goo..

    tumblr_m2difwvwal1qddluio1_500.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 9:55 AM GMT
    You're overthinking it.
    It's just instagram. He's not proposing to you.

    I'm so disappointed that this isn't about dating a magician.
    Why isn't this about dating a magician?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 10:54 AM GMT
    If a man want's you..he should come get you..
    ... What happened to the days of direct communication???

    ..I like you...you like me..lets hang out.. icon_confused.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 11:08 AM GMT
    At max just friend zone him, if that.
    Otherwise this guy doesn't sound like there would be any feasible future.
    Fleeting guys, for whatever reason it may be, will probably continue fleeting until they get their shit together.

    Personally I wouldn't even bother 'following' him back on instagram, especially considering you don't really like the social media site anyway.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 11:27 AM GMT
    What do you do when a guy suddenly re-appears

    That depends if he's been buried once already. We call those zombies, the living dead who keep returning, and the ideal response is to run away.

    There are relationship zombies, too, and your response should be the same. These poor lost souls don't realize that a relationship is dead & buried, and so they keep returning to haunt you. Sounds like what you may have here.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 11:30 AM GMT
    With histogram are you able to set who can view photos ??
    Thinking along the lines of giving him something to see...
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  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Mar 07, 2013 11:33 AM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 11:38 AM GMT
    How do you feel about him?? If so so then ignore him and he has your number if he wants to talk or text you. Go on with your life and go date others and forget about him.
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  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16575

    Mar 07, 2013 11:53 AM GMT
    Sounds like you are giving him "more consideration" than he gives you... and I don't mean "considerate behavior", I mean, you are making him "significant" in your daily life, when he hasn't done the same for you.
    Who cares if he added you? I don't mean that rudely, but I'm saying he hasn't made you as important as he seems to be to you. You are writing about him here as well. My suggestion: either add him or not, but unless something significantly changes, move along, regardless of your decision.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidSounds like you are giving him "more consideration" than he gives you... and I don't mean "considerate behavior", I mean, you are making him "significant" in your daily life, when he hasn't done the same for you.
    Who cares if he added you? I don't mean that rudely, but I'm saying he hasn't made you as important as he seems to be to you. You are writing about him here as well. My suggestion: either add him or not, but unless something significantly changes, move along, regardless of your decision.


    Amen brotha. End of thread.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidIf a man want's you..he should come get you..
    ... What happened to the days of direct communication???

    ..I like you...you like me..lets hang out.. icon_confused.gif


    Omg I just peed in my pants 17.gif... so touching..

    tumblr_m5qitey2fd1qdg9ag.gif

    71.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI read carefully what you wrote, and then I went back and re-read the part where you wrote that you dated him for two months and then he disappeared for no reason. This is not someone you want to give the time of day to, IMO. You know you deserve better treatment. Dismiss him entirely - - - - - that is the advice one of the brightest guys in my life gave me once - in a similar situation. I'll pass it along to you at this time when it looks like you can use it.

    As usual, great advice. I agree 100%. He's not interested in investing in you, you should not bother with him.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    I think you are reading into something that isn't there. Ignore him move on you have better things to do then worry about indecisive game players. If you add him that just says I am a door mat go ahead wipe your feet on me when ever you desire
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    guys reappear?
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    Oh honey...

    You're starting a thread just coz some guy hit a button on some social media thang

    I guess you're not over him yet otherwise you wouldn't care so much.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    Larkin saidguys reappear?



    LOOK a Wild gay male flake appears!!!
    Go common sense!

    Don't know why this made me think of Pokemon lol
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:55 PM GMT
    Larkin saidguys reappear?

    That happens when you don't bury the body deep enough.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 5:06 PM GMT
    mplsmike said
    Larkin saidguys reappear?

    That happens when you don't bury the body deep enough.

    Or if you forget to chop up the body before burying it!
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  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 07, 2013 6:10 PM GMT
    Call the ghost busters.
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