"If you dont have a face pic in your profile...chances are we arent a match."

  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Sep 10, 2007 5:38 PM GMT
    How many times have I not seen this in a profile and the person who has this in their profile has a ....you guessed it...a HEADLESS SHOT.

    OK, so you may have a head shot in your private stash, but then does it imply that if I don't have a face pic in my regular profile then you're not interested (in even replying to my email)?

    There have been countless forums about the "headless jock" and some very good for/against arguments regarding this, but this topic is not about that. It's about having expectations from someone else, but not holding yourself accountable to those same standards!

    You may look like GOD and have a perfect profile, but when I see that line in your profile, you've lost me there and then and I move on. And I bet, so do a lot of your potential ex-husbands.

    Not to mention what else it implies about you.

    Treat others like you want to be treated.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 6:31 PM GMT
    Agree totally.

    It's like when guys want to see your private photos and they don't have anything in exchange. Some guys just don't get it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 7:08 PM GMT
    Well, remember DrStorm and redheadguy, there are not a small number of guys who are trolling RJ and treating it as sort of a Craigslist.

    I agree with both you guys totally, though.
  • cacti

    Posts: 273

    Sep 10, 2007 8:43 PM GMT
    I won't go into why I'm headless in public since that's not really the point of this thread, but of course, I completely agree with your sentiments!

    I've chatted briefly with several seemingly nice folks who are completely photo-less AND info-less only for them to suddenly start demanding access to private photos or some kind of show on cam... Upon refusal, almost every time they get shitty. It's almost enough to make me stop chatting with blank profilers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 10:54 PM GMT
    Cacti I'm surprised you even do. If I don't see anything in a profile I won't even respond to an IM. I'll be lenient if they either

    a) ave nothing written but are verified and have a picture or two.


    b) have no picture but have some information written in their profile.

    But if there isn't anything, I don't even respond.

    I r profile elitist
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 11:14 PM GMT
    I figure people like that can somehow record the cam session and post it to X-tube.
  • trebor965

    Posts: 200

    Sep 10, 2007 11:19 PM GMT
    yea i agree. it is like having to take a massive shit and only farting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:07 AM GMT
    Correspondence from these guys get the Spam mail treatment=***DELETE*** I quit playing hide and seek years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 11:36 AM GMT
    I like it here for the camaraderie more than anything else. I wouldn't expect to be running into anyone I meet and converse with here though I wouldn't rule out the possibility.

    I guess I only joined this site for the community of gays who to whom fitness is important. The fact that we can have forums on a diverse group of subject areas is only more fulfilling.

    I try not to present myself differently than who I am. Being naturally very shy, this is a wonderful outlet for an amazingly diverse group who are intellectually, culturally and socially enthralling.

    I'll say that I don't yet (hopefully) have the abs I desire and find so attractive on others. But my face is there because I've been out too long to hide. I'm the "abless jock". Ok, they are there but not with the definition I want yet. At this age, it's a slow process.

    Now, since it took me a some time to get to where I am I haven't simply decided to give up. I get too much out of a workout to quit. At one point I was going to put a headless shot up in addition to the existing photo, but then at this point, why bother. I still have the option of doing it and who knows...

    Whoa!! Did I ever ramble. Anyway, if the person who sends a message to me has an empty profile, then my response is as likely to be as empty.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 11:59 AM GMT
    Just as bad are the guys with only one photo and not verified... because those are likely fake...I dont reply to those guys anymore when I get a message...if you have a digital photo of yourself, you most likely have 2 or 3 or 4...post those also. Im so tired of the fakes on line..wasting our time...i jsut saw today...same photos...on three different profiles...its crazy...these losers who steal others identity and try to become someone they arent...it blows my mind how pathetic they are!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:05 PM GMT
    The faceless profile thing has to be taken in context. Those of us who have been very out for very long have to remember what it's like to live in a place (not just in the US) where being gay is either difficult, dangerous, or even illegal. There are also some jobs that, no matter where you are, it's an issue if you're gay. (US Military comes to mind...)

    For these guys I cut some slack. But for those who are playing a game of "I'll show you how hot I am if you're hot enough for me to want you", I could NOT be less interested or less impressed.

    As much as I've played around over the years, it still amazes me that we've reached the point where the public shots can be buttholes and cocks and the private shots are faces. Is something upside down in all this, or is it just me?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:15 PM GMT
    The face is a window to the soul.... the backside merely a window to the intestines.
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    Sep 11, 2007 2:26 PM GMT
    Hmm interesting comments so far - so I'll chuck in my 2 pence worth (or 2 hryvna to make it truly local)

    One of the things that struck me when i joined (relative newbie) is that despite the "intended focus" on fitness there appears to me to at least be more than a mere acknowledgement by the site creators that hookups etc. can and will take place via the site.

    Inevitably, this leads to those who for whatever reason do not want to release face shots or put them as private photos. Now i might be strange but a body pic is incredibly boring if i cannot see the face attached to it..... but as much as i desire and like to look at great abs etc (bgcat57 - i'm feeling you on the abless jock thing and mine will not see light of (website) day for a very long time), it means nothing without a face to go with it.

    For those who do the headless shots - they have reasons and far be it from me to try to get into their heads as to why... like others have expressed her, i tend to move if all you can show me is a set of abs... i mean this is the internet... i can find that anywhere and its not why i came here!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 2:53 PM GMT
    Well as i don't have any photos in my profile yet, i'll give you my perspective. :)

    1. I live in the Middle East where being gay is a criminal offence. 400 miles in almost any direction and it is punishable with imprisonment, flogging and/or death.
    2. I respect those in this area that do so show themselves.
    3. I have family here which makes it hard to leave .
    4. I come to this site because it is on a subject i am interested in and where i want to improve. Plus it is one of the few gay themed sites that is not banned here.
    5. I am not here to pick anyone up but i do like to talk to interesting people.
    6. I do not see any real potential for developing a relationship with anyone on the site and so, other than being able to oggle cute guys, the pics are largely meaningless.
    7. I think most of those people with rules about who they will and will not speak to based on absence of photo or having the wrong type of photo, are egotists. Perversely, i consider my absence of photo a good way to avoid such types.