Too much

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2007 2:47 AM GMT
    Yeah, thanks for all the advice guys.

    Bit weird over the weekend, too. I told him I was going out with some of my mates to watch the league prelim finals, which I know he has no interest in.

    Anyway, about ten minutes into the match, he phones my mobile to ask if I'm enjoying the game. This is repeated after every try scored and at the end of the match too. Eventually I told him I would call him later once my outing with my mates was done.

    When I called him back, he got all bitter and angry that I hadn't invited him or called him during the match.

    OK - I told him that I'm not a possession, I want to enjoy my time the way I see fit and that he needs to give me enough of my own space. I'm really thinking now that I should tell him I don't want to continue with this at all.

    Thanks for listening, RJ'ers!
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    Sep 24, 2007 12:13 PM GMT
    "I'm really thinking now that I should tell him I don't want to continue with this at all."

    I'm sorry things are turning out the way they are, but that is probably a good idea. From everything you've written here, his clinginess and insecurity appear to be permanent features, and IMO, they are definitely going to stand in the way of a healthy relationship.
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    Sep 24, 2007 12:50 PM GMT
    I think you now know what you gotta do. Continue with the direct approach. Good luck man.
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    Sep 24, 2007 2:17 PM GMT



    Show up at his house and stare at him through the curtain without blinking. Then crack a faint smile while twitching your left eye.
    Problem solved.lol..kidding..
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    Oct 04, 2007 3:12 AM GMT
    run.



    or, at the very least, tell him he's going way too fast!
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    Oct 04, 2007 3:53 AM GMT
    Run like hell,that has all the signs of a big time loser,or perhaps he is straight !.
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    Oct 04, 2007 5:58 AM GMT
    OK, so now things are getting out of hand.

    I told him Im not interested in pursuing anything with him because he is making me uncomfortable.
    Next day, another huge bunch of flowers turns up at my work with a creepy note attached. Later on, I'm locking up the office and turn around and there he is!
    He tells me he hasn't been able to sleep for three nights because of me. I can tell he's drunk, and its only 5pm.
    I tell him this is not right and I don't want to hurt him, but I tell him flatly to stay away from me. He replies that he's going to keep drinking and take sleeping pills when he gets home.
    I said "You need help, mate, seriously."
    This was a few days back and I haven't heard from him since. Maybe he woke up and realised how silly it all was, and is moving on. Fingers crossed.
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    Oct 04, 2007 10:27 AM GMT
    The way you describe him indicates to me he has clinging obssessive tendencies, that could lead to stalking. When I read stories like this I realize how lucky I am not to be single!
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    Oct 04, 2007 4:02 PM GMT
    Yikes! I'm sorry this happened to you.

    Since you've already expressed to him the fact that he makes you uncomfortable and that you don't want to pursue anything with him, I think you've done all you can do.

    I think you should cease all contact/communication with him. Hopefully with time, he'll be able to move on. In my opinion, any contact with him will give him hope that he still has a chance with you.

    Him getting drunk or even taking sleeping pills is not your responsibility. He is obviously in need of some professional help.

    Good luck mate. - Jorel
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    Oct 04, 2007 4:38 PM GMT
    Lol

    Wow, so when I get slightly clingy in the beginning, thats what experienced guys are expecting to happen! Well I know better for next time lol.

    You know its really annoying when you try to spare someone feelings and they just won't let you. If sensitivity isn't getting the message across, say it bluntly.

    I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Thats what people like that try to do. They try to make you feel guilty. They have no reason for living so they force all of their reasons for being joyous and happy onto you. Thats why they fall for you so quickly.In my younger years, hell me saying younger thats funny, I did it. Now I have it done to me.

    Its their break downs that tell it all. You learn about everything they were planning, all the fantasies that they had about you. One guy went into everything that he had planned for the rest of our lives when I told him I just wasn't interested. I would've called it cute if If it wasn't for the fact that he hadn't even known me for a week.

    You did yourself justice. trust me.

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    Oct 19, 2007 12:53 PM GMT
    But,well, I think this is very romantic.

    and i am sure many people wish to have someone as passionate as yours.

    But if you can't stand it, then talk to him about that.
    I envy you honestly