iguanaSF saidAlright, I think I'm being too ironic for the crowd lately.
I'll be explicit:
Being "real" and "true to yourself" is almost always more of a pose than being "gay" or "Christian" or "Republican."
"Mavericks" don't say they are mavericks.
People who are "real" don't go around saying they are "real" or even worse, complaining about everyone else who isn't.
To be truly "real" is to be comfortable with everything you are. Fem guys who love their glitter and makeup and who are out there for everyone to see are almost always "more real" than guys that bitch about "all these other queeny guys who let being gay define who they are."
If you are really comfortable with who you are, you'd never feel the need to trash others for not being as "real" as you. Doing that only betrays your own obvious insecurities.
I just woke up to say... A-fucking-men!
Saying you're gay isn't restricting you if it's what you are. It's just like saying I'm Asian, that doesn't automatically make me a buddhist or a Martial Arts expert, but I'd still be Asian. If I said Asian was only a label, should I go around introducing myself as an Earthling?
Making excuses to call yourself some other thing just because you think you're special enough, isn't being 'real'. It's being pretentious and exclusive. And as Kurt said, it betrays your own insecurities all too well. Sure a lot of us are bothered by the way media portrays gays as evil little fey creatures, does that mean we should abandon ship on that 'label' and do what the g0ys did?
The only evil 'labels' has on the world is that people make MORE labels just to avoid one label which has accumulated one negative connotation too many. And pretty soon everybody has their own special label. And it seems like the new label nowadays is the 'unlabeled' variety. It's what the kewl kids do.
The boundaries of labels are illusory. We all know that. A man who calls himself gay isn't required to wear pink or have a lisp. A man who calls himself gay isn't forbidden to have sex or fall in love with women. Those boundaries are determined by you. So why blame it on labels when it's you who does the choosing?
Is it really more 'real' to say 'I find greater emotional and sexual satisfaction in the company of males of the human species in comparison to females'
than simply saying 'I'm gay'
The truth is people who don't like calling themselves gay are simply afraid of the rejection this automatically brings in certain circles (bisexuals, asexuals, lesbians, and cats excluded of course
A gay man who can say 'I'm Gay'
without being followed immediately by 'but I'm not fem, I hate the scene, I hate pink, I drink beer with all my straight friends, etc.'
deserves a lot more respect in my opinion. Sure we all do that, especially guys from here (I for one admit to all those above), but it's irrelevant to being gay, so why should you have to somehow apologize for being Gay by listing all the manly things we do? Is that being 'real' or is that being 'insecure'?
It's not the clothes that matter, it's how you wear them.Kurt never ceases to amaze with these wonderfully wrought nuggets of wisdom that leaves kiddies like me reeling in adoration! LOL *goes starry eyed*