Sep 19, 2007 6:52 PM GMT
I did some homework after getting flack from a number of guys on here after posting my question of "Why can't we be honest" - I was accused of being "intolerant" and not being open minded to people's situations....and to a degree, I think that may be true.
I obviously do have an issue with secrecy, and I took the advice of some guys to go figure out what was bothering me.
Instead of finding research that would explain MY issue, I actually found something that expained my hyper-awareness of secretive behavior in men and validated why I hate it so much. Now, maybe I jumped the gun and was too harsh - and I'm NOT saying people on here are Sociopaths or Psychopaths.
But for fun, read this - it's fascinating. It does help me understand why I am sensitive to secrecy and excuses for being so (especially on a gay/bi workout & fitness website where people are paranoid someone in their family will find them).
Again, I'm not saying anyone on here is a Sociopath so don't give me any shit! But it sure does explain my intolerance for excuses and why I don't buy them easily. (taken from www.mcafee.cc)
THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR
Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren't the product of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing affects them.
Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they're the bottom of the barrel -- most of the TWO MILLION psychopaths in North America aren't murderers.
They're our friends, lovers and co-workers. They're outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you with charm and flattery. Often you aren't even aware they've taken you for a ride -- until it's too late:
1. Glibness and Superficial Charm
2. Manipulative and Conning
- They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible.
3. Grandiose Sense of Self
- Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
4. Pathological Lying
5. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
- A deep seated rage, which is split off and REPRESSED......The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
6. Shallow Emotions
7. Incapacity for Love
8. Need for Stimulation
- Promiscuity and gambling are common.
9. Callousness/Lack of Empathy
10. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
- Believe they entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
11. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
12. Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
- Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
"Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are TRUSTING and forgiving people," adds Seto.
For a psychopath, a romantic relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy into the lies. It's primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once, says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game.
The problem with their game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker."
Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview:
Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so.
Related Qualities of a Sociopath:
1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance