Your Biggest Worry?

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    Sep 28, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    Yeah thanks for the advice. I'll follow. I mean 19 years old there are a lot of better things I could be doing instead of worrying.

    Sometimes we worry so much about life that we all forget to live it. It is a future minded aspect of myself that I am trying to quiet a bit.
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    Sep 29, 2007 12:03 AM GMT
    I have stopped worrying... all it does is make you miserable...

    Personally, I'm single and I'm happy. I've gotten to a point in my life where I finally realised that your happiness really does come from inside yourself and its neither realistic nor fair to the other person to expect them to make you happy.

    That said, yes, I do miss the whole "someone to wake up with, come home to, cuddle up to, grow old with" thing... especially since my last relationship ended only because he died, rather than because we fell out of love. When something ends abruptly, I think you miss it more... though maybe for different reasons than most...

    If the right guy comes along again, I won't say no to a relationship. But if I grow old as a single man, then I'm fine with that. I'd rather be old, alone and happy than be miserable in a relationship with the wrong guy at any age.

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    Sep 29, 2007 1:04 AM GMT
    My biggest worry is that I wont be there for my children as long as they need me the most...in their developmental years...Being 45 and my youngest being in kindergarten...I worry most I wont be there for him...but its one reason I focus so heavily on my health...so that when he is old enough to need a training partner for athletics...Ill be there for him...when he needs serious guidance in navigating lifes bumpy roads....Ill be there to offer guidance and support...I realize these are relatively unique to most gay men, but nonetheless they are real for me!!!
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    Sep 29, 2007 1:10 AM GMT
    My greatest worry - or fear - is being separated from the man I love. I waited 48 years for him to come along, and we'll have precious little time together as it is. I don't want to give up a single day of it prematurely.

    To JacksonsGym -- forgive me for putting it this way, but you're 21. The world is just beginning to open itself up to you. I can virtually assure you that you will not be alone unless you want to be. But be a little patient - explore - experience life. Your 20's don't last that long - neither do your 30's or 40's or 50's. As inconceivable as it may seem to you now, you'll wake up one day with an AARP card in your wallet.

    Treasure the moment. Enjoy the ride. We only get one, you know.

    Joey
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    Dec 19, 2007 6:49 PM GMT
    does my phobia count? haha. being judged and scrutinized by people (even strangers!) icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 03, 2008 2:11 PM GMT
    jacksonsgymSo Im sitting at home alone on a friday night, and i thought to myself; am i going to spend my whole life alone.


    I'm in a much better position to worry about that LOL.

    I worry that I'll never be kissed, never have sex, spend my life alone, never find happiness...

    That's it.

    I'm afraid of not knowing happiness before I die. Corny but true. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 03, 2008 2:32 PM GMT
    My biggest fear...

    That I can't hack it in the university education system and I'm sitting in a lot of classes not really properly understanding a lot of the concepts and not really putting in enough work yet feeling exhausted and over worked.



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    Mar 03, 2008 4:23 PM GMT
    I have to say my biggest worry would have to be: Not telling the ones I love how much they mean to me, and how much I love them. I guess not spending as much time as possible with them before they go. I don't dread being alone because I have been alone, and I have been with some one. I have experienced both sides. I just would like for everyone to know how much they mean to me before I/they go...
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    Mar 03, 2008 4:38 PM GMT
    jacksonsgym saidSo Im sitting at home alone on a friday night, and i thought to myself; am i going to spend my whole life alone.




    You never know.. It is always good to have a plan B.

    There is something utterly comfortable about misery and feeling sorry for yourself. Perhaps you could put that energy into making things a bit more interesting for yourself. I learned how to cook all those nights when I was "waiting" instead of submitting to my "woe is me " instincts.
    I had to hide my Alanis Morrisette CD, (yes I am old)
    Energy attracts like energy. The last thing I ever needed was someone on that same wave length. Be productive, go out and help someone else who isn't quite making it or create something fulfilling. Finding someone does not mean you will feel happy and loved. You have to do that for yourself. cliche yes, but true. You have to stay involved in the rest of the worlds goings on and figure out where you fit in on your own. The alternative is finding that guy you thought you were waiting for and freaking him out with your worry and desperation. How many threads can you read from guys who thought they found "the one" but then realized they had freaked him out, before you realize your life isn't a puzzle with one missing piece. Finding the guy is the most basic step, keeping him or yourself interested is the tricky part.

    If the loudest voice in your soul is questioning being alone, you probably just aren't ready to balance another person in your life.

  • yogadudeSEATT...

    Posts: 373

    Mar 03, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    My biggest worry?

    Hillary Clinton
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    Mar 03, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    My biggest worry: another Republican president (a.k.a McCain).
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    Mar 03, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    my calc test on friday?

    haha

    i suppose it should be that i'll never learn to think about the future
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    Mar 04, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    You're right to be thinking about things like this at such a young age. Just don't get paranoid because it ;) A lot of guys just go their lives sleeping whomever they could get their hands on at the clubs. Sometimes they find lovers, but the dramas from having a lover usually keep them decidedly single.

    Sure, there's no way of single handedly changing the nature of the gay community, or those in it, but you if you believe that you will find someone someday you will see the opportunity when it arises to be with that guy. Than, even if for a short while, you'll find the happiness that illudes so many flightsy homos.

    But remember too, that you're still young, and now, more than any other part of your life, you need to have fun, have short term relationships - if pleases YOU, go home a few times with a guy from the club, but practice safe sex and self control. It's easy to get sucked into the vanities of the gay 'scene', and just as hard to get away from it. But above all else, learn to love yourself first. If and when the time comes to be with the right guy, you'll know it in your gut.
  • imperator

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    Mar 04, 2008 12:15 AM GMT
    I don't worry about loneliness because I don't get lonely. People generally don't believe me, but it's true-- I don't. If anything, I value my solitude more and more with time and find that I spend a lot of time wishing *everyone* would just go away for a bit and let me have the world to myself (though, then I'd have to figure out how to keep everything-- water, power, etc). The irony is that being alone used to bother me a lot, but then I spent the first 4 or 5 of my years at university at the middle of a huge network of really great friends and after going a bit overboard and making 'membership cards' for our crew and everything, gradually as that group started to disperse from graduations or drop-outs or what-not, I found I didn't really 'miss' anyone, and was less and less concerned with filling the vacancies in my circle as they opened up. I thought about them occasionally, wondered how they were, sometimes I'd drop them a line just to say 'hi,' but I've never longed for their presence or whatever, never felt like they were "gone" and I needed them back, even as years passed.

    No, my biggest worry-- I think-- is a meaningless death having left nothing of importance or value behind, having done no *memorable* good with my life. I can't think of much worse than just dying face-down in the woods somewhere and going anonymously into the ground as food for worms with nothing left behind to mark my passage through the world. I want to have been someone who mattered; if not to the whole of history, then at least to someone who'll tell stories about me, because in the end I'm skeptical that there's any kind of afterlife. So I suspect that all that remains of us-- after our bodies stop and the electrical activity runs down in our brain-- is the memory of us that's passed on in the world's collective consciousness, like imprints or pieces of the puzzle that was "me/you" that get dispersed among those who knew us and re-assembled second-hand in future generations, like a piecemeal process of reincarnation. I want my fragments to stay in circulation beyond me, re-combining in others down through time. That not being the case is my biggest-- and sometimes only-- real 'worry.'
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    Mar 08, 2008 2:44 PM GMT
    my biggest worry is money

    being alone isn't so bad unless even you don't want to be around yourself
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    Mar 12, 2008 10:41 AM GMT
    Add me to the lonely crowd.

    Two years ago I broke up from a 14 year relationship. I'm sure I held in the last 7 years because I was afraid of being alone.

    Although, now, definitely the best thing I did. It takes time to find myself again, the gym and having interests and friends outside of work definitely helps too.
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    Mar 12, 2008 12:04 PM GMT
    Loneliness is a big worry for all Gay people, as they may not have the family (kids) to support them in their later years.

    As I said above. Don't rely on having a partner to keep you company,and make an effort to put yourself out there and make friends (even internet friends).

    Good luck

    Lozx
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    Mar 12, 2008 1:28 PM GMT
    So whats the big deal sitting alone on a Friday Night! does it matter what night it is? l am alone many nights as my B/F is a long way away in University and thats the way it goes at times! l have my books i can use the phone the internet and hey looking at all these Fab' guys on here keeps me sober!


    So Boy your not the only one on this planet Wake up!
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    Mar 13, 2008 2:52 AM GMT
    My biggest fear is retirement. I own a business and do alright but I wonder how I would ever pay the health insurance if I wanted to retire early. I also couldn't start saving for retirement until just a few years ago and with cost of everything rising I wonder how I will ever retire. I constantly worry about it especially as friends in their early 50's start retiring.

    My new mantra is "All I Have Is Now". I can't do anything about the past and have no control over the future or even if I will have a future. I can live in the moment and quit worrying about all these details of life. Easier said than done though.
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    Mar 13, 2008 3:06 AM GMT
    My biggest worry is my Nana's health. She's 80 years old and we are very close. Other than that I don't worry much. I believe that I am capable of meeting and excelling the demands of anything this world has to throw at me.
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    Mar 13, 2008 3:06 AM GMT
    Midterm grades LOL
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    Mar 13, 2008 3:22 AM GMT
    Being alone when I'm older.
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    Mar 13, 2008 3:32 AM GMT
    My biggest worry right now is that all the emotion and time and love and hate that i've put into my friendships and family life will be for nothing once i come out to them, or for the ones that stick by me, one day they will eventually forget me. The times when they "forget" to include me slowly becoming more and more frequent until the day the phone just stops ringing. I know friends come and go, but making friends is a hard thing for me to do, especially being in a city of city slickers and very very few country boys and girls. Most people just don't get me, which makes me value and work so hard to keep friendships strong.
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    Aug 11, 2008 4:14 AM GMT
    Dying with regrets.
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    Aug 11, 2008 4:23 AM GMT
    Yikes, my biggest worry is never graduating college or becoming self-sufficient.