Dec 22, 2008 4:32 AM GMT
with soooooo many options out there and opportunities to just fool around, what was it about your "one" that brought you to the point that you were ready to settle down with him and only him?
zdrew saidWe've talked about it, and it all just comes down to the fact that some people are meant for monogamy, and some aren't, I guess. We both are, so it becomes a matter of integrity, respect, and maintained trust. I wouldn't do anything purposefully to hurt my partner or jeopardize a very fulfilling relationship, so I keep my dick firmly in my pants when he's not around. Some folks are very fulfilled by open relationships, and I don't judge them for it at all...but I know it's not for me.
GobB saidwith soooooo many options out there and opportunities to just fool around, what was it about your "one" that brought you to the point that you were ready to settle down with him and only him?
zdrew saidMuncher, your pixels weren't wasted. If a guy as reasoned and intelligent as you can condone them, I figure it's pretty damn stupid to automatically discount open relationships. Like you, I'm not ever going to rule anything out, and I think that's a key to a healthy relationship -- they can't go stagnant. That said, I'm hard pressed (that's for your LalaPaulooza, btw...) at this point to imagine the dynamic of an open relationship working for me.
MunchingZombie saidzdrew saidMuncher, your pixels weren't wasted. If a guy as reasoned and intelligent as you can condone them, I figure it's pretty damn stupid to automatically discount open relationships. Like you, I'm not ever going to rule anything out, and I think that's a key to a healthy relationship -- they can't go stagnant. That said, I'm hard pressed (that's for your LalaPaulooza, btw...) at this point to imagine the dynamic of an open relationship working for me.
glad to hear they weren't wasted. It is all part of my not-so-secret plot for a hot monogamous couple on monogamous couple foursome.
GobB saidwith soooooo many options out there and opportunities to just fool around, what was it about your "one" that brought you to the point that you were ready to settle down with him and only him?
ursamajor said
We aren't monogamous, never have been (and it is now 10 years). However we are emotionally monogamous.
zdrew saidursamajor said
We aren't monogamous, never have been (and it is now 10 years). However we are emotionally monogamous.
That's a good distinction, and one worth considering long and hard, GobB. I would say emotional monogamy is the more important, in a heartbeat. At least to me. I imagine the difference between those who can and can't have open relationships has a lot to do with whether the parties involved can maintain emotional monogamy in the absence of physical monogamy. Am I right, Terry, or am I just being monotonous?
streetbobfx saidExcellent question! At the time I met my partner I defiantly was taking advantage of what you described as “many options out there”. I was not even looking for a long term relationship. But, I agreed to go on a date with this hot, funny, smart, caring, guy….and before I realized it 12 years has passed!
I can’t say there was one specific thing that made me realize he was the “one”. There were a multitude of things. We were/are madly in love. We got along as if we had known each other all our lives. He got along very well with my family. We had the same career and financial goals. He was loyal, caring, loving, and kind. I could not image spending the rest of my life with anyone else.
I tell folks that are starting up new relationships that it takes work. Treat your boyfriend with the same respect you would a friend. Build upon each experience with each other. And understand no one is perfect. I like to say that I married my best friend.
meninlove said
...are you in that situation right now?