Dec 30, 2008 9:56 PM GMT
I recently have been rebounding from a horrible dating experience that lasted 8 months. I dated this older man who slowly displayed signs of emotional and psychological instability, I don't mean personality quirks. I'm talking full on obsessive, anger management, coercive, manipulative bi-polar tendencies.
When I tried to break it off he threatened to kill himself which freaked me out so I figured I'd spend several months weening him off our time together.
Well it didn't work, he slept on my doorstep, broke into my home, stalked and harassed me, my friends and my boss in hopes of them "talking sense into me".
So now two police reports, several calls to 911 and two restraining orders later I'm finally feeling brave enough to go on another date.
A year ago I went out on a date with this incredibly nice, social, successful and attentive guy who I had a really pleasant time with. Sparks were not really flying but he was "safe" and "easy" to be with/around. We went out a few times but nothing ever came of it and we lost touch.
A few weeks before Christmas he emailed me asking me out again. I was elated because I knew I desperately needed a positive dating experience for the sake of my sanity and emotional well being. This gem of a guy was a sure thing!... for my renewed faith in men that is.
He was very reticent to discuss where he had been because of that "don't talk about your ex's when you're on a date" rule. After being engaged in litigation for 8 months and his huge emotional investment in his relationship, we weren't left with many interesting topics to talk about.
Our date didn't get good till we started talking about the downward spirals of dating and relationships. We both acknowledge that we were in the "Forbidden Zone of the Ex's" but the sincerity and honesty that came out with discussing them was refreshing and real.
Our connection while maybe not intensely chemically romantic, was sweet, fun, intimate and nurturing... what more can a guy ask for on a date?
This leaves me to believe that some dating rules are meant to be broken... or maybe they're more like... "guidelines". He renewed my faith in men and all dating can be... thank god we talked about where we were or it would have been a pleasant, safe, BORING date.
Some rules are definitely guidelines however, violating restraining orders and breaking and entering... I'm fairly certain those should be hard fast rules, no wiggle room for interpretation.
When I tried to break it off he threatened to kill himself which freaked me out so I figured I'd spend several months weening him off our time together.
Well it didn't work, he slept on my doorstep, broke into my home, stalked and harassed me, my friends and my boss in hopes of them "talking sense into me".
So now two police reports, several calls to 911 and two restraining orders later I'm finally feeling brave enough to go on another date.
A year ago I went out on a date with this incredibly nice, social, successful and attentive guy who I had a really pleasant time with. Sparks were not really flying but he was "safe" and "easy" to be with/around. We went out a few times but nothing ever came of it and we lost touch.
A few weeks before Christmas he emailed me asking me out again. I was elated because I knew I desperately needed a positive dating experience for the sake of my sanity and emotional well being. This gem of a guy was a sure thing!... for my renewed faith in men that is.
He was very reticent to discuss where he had been because of that "don't talk about your ex's when you're on a date" rule. After being engaged in litigation for 8 months and his huge emotional investment in his relationship, we weren't left with many interesting topics to talk about.
Our date didn't get good till we started talking about the downward spirals of dating and relationships. We both acknowledge that we were in the "Forbidden Zone of the Ex's" but the sincerity and honesty that came out with discussing them was refreshing and real.
Our connection while maybe not intensely chemically romantic, was sweet, fun, intimate and nurturing... what more can a guy ask for on a date?
This leaves me to believe that some dating rules are meant to be broken... or maybe they're more like... "guidelines". He renewed my faith in men and all dating can be... thank god we talked about where we were or it would have been a pleasant, safe, BORING date.
Some rules are definitely guidelines however, violating restraining orders and breaking and entering... I'm fairly certain those should be hard fast rules, no wiggle room for interpretation.
