JayneCobb saidI lol'd a little bit in my pants.
On the note of homocil: If I had a son who was femme and more into dancing and bedazziling shirts, I'd feel as though I had failed as a father..
So, "success" as a father would be to suppress your son's expression? To make him feel bad about himself? What horrible instincts. You just preemptively failed as a father.
I personally would feel as though I was not as large of an impact in my childs life as I thought I could have been should my son take up dance. Like he didn't look up to me as a father.
Well I was gunna go on this whole tangent about how ballet is a womens activity and how it serves no purpose for a man to participate blah blah blah, then talk about how "mens" sports are tough and spew about how men are supposed to be the protectors of the house and what not. (That was a long run-on sentance)
But I'm to lazy from class to really write anything coherent.
And really I'm constipated on debating this (couldn't give a shit).
That's really interesting. I'm glad you put it that way (your first sentence). I think that's probably a common dilemma. You should realize, I guess, that there are ways of showing admiration, and respect, "looking up" to someone without just imitating them. It's okay I guess to have certain goals in mind for your child, but most importantly one of those goals should be that they are true to themselves.
And I'm sorry, but saying ballet is for women is simply untrue and kinda ludicrous. What about the thousands of men who have made successful careers in ballet? Just because an activity doesn't serve a purpose for YOU, doesn't mean it won't serve a purpose for all men. I think you don't realize how "tough" and "athletic" ballet dancers have to be. And how the fuck does interest in a certain art form have anything to do with your caveman notions of "protecting" the house?
It would be a healthy exercise for you to try to figure out where all this baggage comes from. You'd be a happier person.
Sorry, that sounds condescending, but it's true that we should all learn to "unpack our bias". It just helps to know more about the world around us by not being blinded by dogma.
And I should say that I think certain values that are characterized as masculine are good values. I think all people, men and women, should be tough and know how to stand up for themselves. That's just basic self-esteem, and it's good for you. But you get into trouble when you start applying that to specific behaviors as the ONLY ones that are acceptable versions of this value. In fact, if your son did sports, or hunted, or whatever it is you think being a "protector" is, only because you expected him to and not because he really wanted to, well then isn't that the OPPOSITE of what you're trying to do? Doesn't that make him a pushover and a yes-man?
There's a difference between being an authoritative parent and an authoritarian parent. The former is decidedly better.