MartyredNeons saidI don't understand though how some older men complain about younger guys being ageist when they themselves do not seek out same aged men and instead pine for men much younger than themselves.
Isn't that a little hypocritical?
I think young gay men get it in their heads that older gay men are lecherous, because those are the only older gay men who pay attention to them, and I think the older men who pay attention to them are often in a fantasy. Perhaps they didn't sew their oats and are making up for lost time?
I can remember being 20 or so and fearing that I would still be attracted to young guys when I got older, because it seemed like every older guy just wanted an 18 year old, but that's not how it worked. I realize that I have gotten less self absorbed as I've gotten older, and the flaw of my logic back then was that I thought the world revolved around me and my generation.
I'm in my 30s now and still really only attracted to guys my age, or within a few years of my age, the same as I always have been. I've only been in one relationship in my whole life where there was a big nine year age difference, and that relationship was as doomed to fail as if I'd been with a woman.
Anyone significantly younger than me looks too much like a child to treat as a sexual equal, and anyone significantly older than me who is attracted to me makes me feel like a light snack.
I think I'm more typical, and the guys that haunt the younger crowds are the exception.
The reason more guys don't talk about it is that we know it's insulting to call young people immature, or to call older guys lecherous.
The fact is my husband and I are 10 months apart in age, and that means we're not in some father son mentor mentee relationship. We face the milestones of aging together as equals.