Dating several guys at once

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5262

    Nov 05, 2014 9:13 PM GMT
    LondonColin saidSounds like none of them is quite your cup of tea. Otherwise you'd have known what to do. Start dating someone else icon_smile.gif

    Ya, this. I've been trying to figure out what was wrong with this picture and he nailed it. Now I don't think you necessarily know someone very well after only one or two dates, but I'd think you could decide who you'd rather be with. Or none of them. I've never juggled three, but I have juggled two. And that was really just moving on. I didn't realize it at the time but it is clear now in retrospect.
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    Nov 05, 2014 9:48 PM GMT
    guido4life saidI think dating is the wrong term to use . Dating represents 2 people that are together . I think you are just seeing what's out there.



    Wrong. A date is nothing more than making arrangements to do something together. Period. Although once the "ing" is placed at the end, it becomes "dating" which (can) imply they are dating exclusively. It's tricky because people like to change the meaning of words and that makes it complicated.
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    Nov 05, 2014 9:51 PM GMT
    danlport saidIf someone has only met you once and says they're hooked on you, they have some issues.

    That being said, I'm not a fan of dating multiple guys at once. After the first couple dates I know whether I like a guy enough to keep pursuing and at that point I'd like to know I'm the only one he's pursuing.

    I'm actually in this position right now where I have one main guy that I've had like seven dates with over the past month and a half and would like to be exclusive or even boyfriends with him... but he's still on grindr constantly. I finally got the guts and said "I've stopped seeing the other guys I've been seeing, what do you think about that" and all he said "I haven't met anyone since you, but I still check my grindr messages time to time"... not sure what that's supposed to mean, so I'm going to ask him about it on our next date (tomorrow).



    You may have made him feel a bit trapped by making yourself exclusive to him too quickly, which could be why he's still checking Grindr. Passion is built on mystery and doubt with a little bit of hope. Sounds like you're turned the formula around. When you stop seeing other people, it creates feelings of pressure and obligation in the other person which is the biggest passion killer of all when done too soon.
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    Nov 06, 2014 2:28 AM GMT
    Jms31 saidGuy number 1 is very sensitive and cried when we had a little misunderstand about something. I'm definitely expecting drinks in the face there icon_eek.gif

    Guy number 2 seems eager to get me to stay over with him, which we all know only means one thing. I think Bowyn_Aerrow summed this one up

    Guy number 3 I'm undecided about...

    Argh

    I volunteer to be Guy number 4...
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    Nov 06, 2014 8:20 AM GMT
    silentnight1 saidSo you made this thread to boost your ego? For me it seems all of this is shallow, you met a guy once and now he is saying he is hooked and other one is sending you songs on facebook? I think this kind of shallow immature attention is are quite degrading and insignificant

    I think you are exaggerating and/or have bleak understanding of love


    I didn't make this thread to boost any ego, I wrote asking for advice on how I can avoid hurting the other two guys. I haven't been in this situation before, so have no clue what to do icon_rolleyes.gif

    Jon, perhaps you should just be guy number 1 ;)
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    Nov 06, 2014 5:33 PM GMT
    @jms31
    You got replies all over the map, because you weren't very specific as to what your "dating experience" was with the 3 guys. One date each? Dating all of them 2x per week for a 2 months? Sex with one but not another?

    They've fallen in love (or infatuation) with you apparently - but have you spent enough time been with any of them to have feelings for them?

    As to "avoiding hurting the other two guys," there is no way, if they have already fallen for you. Just be as honest with them as you would wish them to be with you.