Disturbing encounter...

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 19, 2014 9:36 PM GMT
    5100s said
    HottJoe said
    5100s saidThere's an undertone here that there is a serious problem with older men preying on younger men.

    That obviously happens sometimes, but it's not always the case.

    I never initiate anything with men who are 18 or 19: they always contact me. I don't look upon them as preying upon me, I look upon them as interested in me. And if we want to connect somehow, I don't believe that hurts anybody.

    I think there are some negative attitudes about sex and men who aren't young any more percolating here. I don't have any problems with either. As a man who isn't young any more I'd rather be that than dead any day.



    Question: Does it bother you to find out you're older than their parents?


    Not at all: their parents are irrelevant.

    I doubt the parents see it it that way.icon_confused.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 19, 2014 9:39 PM GMT
    Just not sure how you can rationalize having sex with someone a third of your age... especially a teenager. Why not date someone at least old enough to rent a car?

    There are more appropriate fish in the sea, to say the least.
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    Nov 19, 2014 9:41 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidJust not sure how you can rationalize having sex with someone a third of your age... especially a teenager. Why not date someone at least old enough to rent a car?

    There are more appropriate fish in the sea, to say the least.



    I could never be interested in a person a third of my age but maybe he feels differently. Who are we to judge who someone else is attracted to? You're sounding more and more like the very people who judge us for being attracted to the same sex.
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    Nov 19, 2014 9:45 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidI could never be interested in a person a third of my age but maybe he feels differently. Who are we to judge who someone else is attracted to? You're sounding more and more like the very people who judge us for being attracted to the same sex.


    how young is 'ok' to your mind if it's consenting?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 19, 2014 9:49 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    HottJoe saidJust not sure how you can rationalize having sex with someone a third of your age... especially a teenager. Why not date someone at least old enough to rent a car?

    There are more appropriate fish in the sea, to say the least.



    I could never be interested in a person a third of my age but maybe he feels differently. Who are we to judge who someone else is attracted to? You're sounding more and more like the very people who judge us for being attracted to the same sex.

    I'd feel the same way if my kid were straight. I don't care if he's attracted to them or not. He should find someone else that's a little older.
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    Nov 19, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    Scruffypup saidI could never be interested in a person a third of my age but maybe he feels differently. Who are we to judge who someone else is attracted to? You're sounding more and more like the very people who judge us for being attracted to the same sex.


    how young is 'ok' to your mind if it's consenting?



    It's 17 in my state which I guess is okay, although I think it's unfair for all the teenagers who know what they want at a younger age. I remember going through many tortuous years not being able to have sex because of these laws and it was not pleasant to say the least. I'm not really that educated on sexual development so I don't think I'm qualified to pick an age. For me personally, I normally prefer guys over 40.
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    Nov 19, 2014 10:02 PM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    Scruffypup saidI could never be interested in a person a third of my age but maybe he feels differently. Who are we to judge who someone else is attracted to? You're sounding more and more like the very people who judge us for being attracted to the same sex.


    how young is 'ok' to your mind if it's consenting?

    There used to be a saying, "if they're old enough to bleed, they're old enough to breed." No one under 30 or so would attract my eye, but the age of consent for boys in some of the modern - thinking and liberal democracies of Europe is 14. Seems reasonable to me. If a 14 year old wants to start having sex, all power to him. He can't get pregnant and if it's consensual, he isn't going to get any enduring traumas. Hell, 14 year Olds used to have weapons thrust into their hands and be commanded to go kill the enemy. Romance is more dangerous than war?


  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 19, 2014 10:04 PM GMT
    5100s saidThere's an undertone here that there is a serious problem with older men preying on younger men.

    That obviously happens sometimes, but it's not always the case.

    I never initiate anything with men who are 18 or 19: they always contact me. I don't look upon them as preying upon me, I look upon them as interested in me. And if we want to connect somehow, I don't believe that hurts anybody.

    I think there are some negative attitudes about sex and men who aren't young any more percolating here. I don't have any problems with either. As a man who isn't young any more I'd rather be that than dead any day.



    I'm 35. If that's not too old for you, maybe you should look more in that ballpark and give people who still have more growing up to do the time to grow up.

    Sure, it can be hard to catch fish, but you still gotta throw the small ones back. They're not ready.
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    Nov 19, 2014 10:06 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidIt's 17 in my state which I guess is okay, although I think it's unfair for all the teenagers who know what they want at a younger age. I remember going through many tortuous years not being able to have sex because of these laws and it was not pleasant to say the least.


    so you're saying a 12 year old that 'knows what they want' (or thinks they do) is ok? i could argue that i did at that age.

    Scruffypup saidI'm not really that educated on sexual development so I don't think I'm qualified to pick an age.


    but someone has to. society has to. you're very critical of the age that's been picked but then you say you're not qualified to know about sexual development.

    you lost me icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 19, 2014 10:08 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    5100s saidThere's an undertone here that there is a serious problem with older men preying on younger men.

    That obviously happens sometimes, but it's not always the case.

    I never initiate anything with men who are 18 or 19: they always contact me. I don't look upon them as preying upon me, I look upon them as interested in me. And if we want to connect somehow, I don't believe that hurts anybody.

    I think there are some negative attitudes about sex and men who aren't young any more percolating here. I don't have any problems with either. As a man who isn't young any more I'd rather be that than dead any day.



    I'm 35. If that's not too old for you, maybe you should look more in that ballpark and give people who still have more growing up to do the time to grow up.

    Sure, it can be hard to catch fish, but you still gotta throw the small ones back. They're not ready.



    35 isn't old Joe. If you were single, you would be my ideal top. Too bad you're married and a bottom (at least I suspect). icon_cry.gif
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    Nov 19, 2014 10:13 PM GMT
    JackBoneTX said
    Scruffypup saidIt's 17 in my state which I guess is okay, although I think it's unfair for all the teenagers who know what they want at a younger age. I remember going through many tortuous years not being able to have sex because of these laws and it was not pleasant to say the least.


    so you're saying a 12 year old that 'knows what they want' (or thinks they do) is ok? i could argue that i did at that age.

    Scruffypup saidI'm not really that educated on sexual development so I don't think I'm qualified to pick an age.


    but someone has to. society has to. you're very critical of the age that's been picked but then you say you're not qualified to know about sexual development.

    you lost me icon_confused.gif



    Well, I'm just going on how lonely I felt in my teens. I wasn't attracted to kids my age and even if I were, I grew up in the Bible belt and they were so suppressed it probably wouldn't have ended well if I had ever hit on anyone my age. However, an older man would have had a better chance of showing me the way in a healthier way. Plus that's just who I was attracted to. I remember intentionally getting lost in the mall so I could hang out with the older men who hung out on the benches. I had the feeling they were looking for sex but my mom always found me before I could get into any trouble. icon_mad.gif

    I agree with the guy above who suggested 14. I think that's a much more reasonable age of consent. Plus that's well past the age of puberty. I started having sex way before 14 and I was very much sexually aware.
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    Nov 19, 2014 10:46 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidWell, I'm just going on how lonely I felt in my teens. I wasn't attracted to kids my age and even if I were, I grew up in the Bible belt and they were so suppressed it probably wouldn't have ended well if I had ever hit on anyone my age. However, an older man would have had a better chance of showing me the way in a healthier way. Plus that's just who I was attracted to. I remember intentionally getting lost in the mall so I could hang out with the older men who hung out on the benches. I had the feeling they were looking for sex but my mom always found me before I could get into any trouble. icon_mad.gif

    I agree with the guy above who suggested 14. I think that's a much more reasonable age of consent. Plus that's well past the age of puberty. I started having sex way before 14 and I was very much sexually aware.


    that sucks. i feel for you. i was in a similar position, including even the mall part (and one guy did try to pick me up but i didn't go because he wanted me to get in his car..).

    but they have to design the laws for the least common denominator, kids who really aren't ready on one end and predators on the other.

    someone else made a point about olden times, where once you could breed you were able to be married. and that's true but it's just not the world we live in now.
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    Nov 19, 2014 11:27 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    5100s saidThere's an undertone here that there is a serious problem with older men preying on younger men.

    That obviously happens sometimes, but it's not always the case.

    I never initiate anything with men who are 18 or 19: they always contact me. I don't look upon them as preying upon me, I look upon them as interested in me. And if we want to connect somehow, I don't believe that hurts anybody.

    I think there are some negative attitudes about sex and men who aren't young any more percolating here. I don't have any problems with either. As a man who isn't young any more I'd rather be that than dead any day.



    Question: Does it bother you to find out you're older than their parents?


    I have a sneaking suspicion my BF's mom is not much older than I am. If it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother me. It helps that I haven't met them yet as they live in Mexico. His older cousin, with whom he lives, knows our age difference and was shocked but is never anything but nice to me.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 19, 2014 11:32 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    HottJoe said
    5100s saidThere's an undertone here that there is a serious problem with older men preying on younger men.

    That obviously happens sometimes, but it's not always the case.

    I never initiate anything with men who are 18 or 19: they always contact me. I don't look upon them as preying upon me, I look upon them as interested in me. And if we want to connect somehow, I don't believe that hurts anybody.

    I think there are some negative attitudes about sex and men who aren't young any more percolating here. I don't have any problems with either. As a man who isn't young any more I'd rather be that than dead any day.



    Question: Does it bother you to find out you're older than their parents?


    I have a sneaking suspicion my BF's mom is not much older than I am. If it doesn't bother him, it doesn't bother me. It helps that I haven't met them yet as they live in Mexico. His older cousin, with whom he lives, knows our age difference and was shocked but is never anything but nice to me.

    How old is your bf?
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    Nov 19, 2014 11:41 PM GMT
    There is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.
  • venue35

    Posts: 5366

    Nov 20, 2014 12:15 AM GMT
    Copernicus said
    Bonaparts said
    Scruffypup said
    atlanticshore said
    Scruffypup said17 is legal in my state. And when I was that age, my greatest fantasy was to have sex with a 40+ man. Not sure why the OP is being such an ageist prick though. If a legal aged young guy finds a 50 year old attractive and vice versa, who are you to judge it as "revolting?" There was a time when many people thought interracial relationships were "revolting."


    so if 10 was legal in your state you would run after 10 year old boys? that is gold



    You don't read very well. As I stated in many threads, I'm into MEN, not boys.
    A ten year old boy is not legal and never will be so your point is not even relevant. I'm personally not attracted to even older guys who look boyish, so I'm certainly not into seventeen year olds. But if a seventeen year old and a fifty year old have a mutual attraction to each other, what's the big deal as long as it's in a state where seventeen is legal?


    so just ebcause something is legal makes it alright? You obviously don't get it
    you have high morals, so pedophilia is legal in some places, so that is acceptable as long as it's legal? 17 and 50 year old is definitely disturbing and revolting, 17 year old does not have maturity and life experience and can be easily manipulated, just like a 10 year old


    Good man... Your Mother taught you well. Don't let these people absorb you like a fucking piece of cum. They are evil. They don't give a FUCK about anyone. All they give a crap about is allowing rubberless sex to go on so they can spread the true nature of what they are which is disease I am dying of because of them.
    there u go again bitch blaming everyone but yourself for getting hiv ! what a joke. Youve done more blow than amy winehouse and courtney love put together andu loved those orgies back in the day. Yet now you say u were raped by the gay community
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    Nov 20, 2014 12:53 AM GMT
    I have to admit that I've had a hard time understanding some of the reasoning in this thread

    I first started having sex with men when I was 22 and I was attracted to men from their late teens to their early 60s. I'm 59 now and I'm still attracted to men from their late teens to their early 60s.

    When I was 22 I would jump at any chance to have sex with a handsome, muscular man of 62 and I wouldn't have given it a thought that my father was 50 and my mother was 47.

    The vast majority of guys who are 18 or 19 only want to be with men their own age and I completely respect that. There is, however, a small minority who are significantly or solely interested in men much older. To tell them that for some reason they can't follow that inclination for a certain number of years just doesn't make sense to me. What's the point of the prohibition?
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    Nov 20, 2014 12:58 AM GMT
    5100s saidI have to admit that I've had a hard time understanding some of the reasoning in this thread

    I first started having sex with men when I was 22 and I was attracted to men from their late teens to their early 60s. I'm 59 now and I'm still attracted to men from their late teens to their early 60s.

    When I was 22 I would jump at any chance to have sex with a handsome, muscular man of 62 and I wouldn't have given it a thought that my father was 50 and my mother was 47.

    The vast majority of guys who are 18 or 19 only want to be with men their own age and I completely respect that. There is, however, a small minority who are significantly or solely interested in men much older. To tell them that for some reason they can't follow that inclination for a certain number of years just doesn't make sense to me. What's the point of the prohibition?

    That there are guys who fall into the peadophile category. I have had guys who lost interest in me because they were only interested in guys <18 years old, and they were themselves in late 30s.
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    Nov 20, 2014 1:04 AM GMT
    Fortunately We are lucky enough to have individuals like the OP to pontificate and dictate and lecture about "morals" and "innocence."

    The last Guy I dated was 93

    I am 46.

    Was HE a pedophile???

    Was My innocence being savagely ripped from My soul because He was twice My age???

    Sex, Love, Romance and LIFE have no calendars, expiration dates or hard rules.

    Life will happen as it should whether it fits into your prim and proper agenda or not.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 1:43 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidThere is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.

    Let's just say you're 50, so we can sleep tonight....icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif

    People can date outside of their age. It is what it is. But if you're an adult, it's morally questionable that when a teenager hits on you, you think that means fuck them.

    I know some people think I'm wrong. I know guys who are in relationships where one is 18 or 19 and the other is ten, fifteen years older. In fact, when I was 17, I lived with my 26 year old bf, and honestly he seemed so old!!! My friends made fun of me. Oh, but he totally showed me the ropes. He told me that guys peaked physically at 19 and made me feel like I had to decide right then if I wanted to spend the rest my life with him.... It didn't last. He's now 46 and in LA, still looking for guys as young as is legally allowed.

    Now that I'm older than he was when we were together, I see that he had more issues than I did. I didn't recognize that at 17. We weren't equals in the sense that I knew what I was dealing with. I was at an age when I should've been learning how to be man, but he was keeping me as a boy. Even when I desired aspects of it, which, in the end, I didn't, it wasn't what I now know being in a grown up relationship should or can be.

    Maybe there needs to be a handbook for parents of gay teenagers on how to give advice on how to be a gay man, and that advice should include focus on your friends and try to meet people that way. Don't try to grow up too fast, or you'll find you held yourself back by letting someone else be the man for you.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 2:17 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    HottJoe said when I was 17, I lived with my 26 year old bf


    icon_eek.gif

    You left home at age 17?

    Yeah, I was still in high school. He would drop me off in the morning, like two blocks away.

    It sounds so bizarre to me now....

    As others have said, blame the parents.icon_confused.gif

    icon_confused.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16517

    Nov 20, 2014 2:25 AM GMT
    When I have been hit on by underage guys and am told or realize their true age, I get alarmed immediately and the conversation ceases. It could be a real discussion or ... a created one (what ever happened to the NBC investigative arm)?

    It doesn't mean you are rude to them, but I always try and be an adult and do what's appropriate.

    It can even be here on RJ.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22445

    Nov 20, 2014 2:29 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Copernicus said
    Bonaparts said
    Scruffypup said
    atlanticshore said
    Scruffypup said17 is legal in my state. And when I was that age, my greatest fantasy was to have sex with a 40+ man. Not sure why the OP is being such an ageist prick though. If a legal aged young guy finds a 50 year old attractive and vice versa, who are you to judge it as "revolting?" There was a time when many people thought interracial relationships were "revolting."


    so if 10 was legal in your state you would run after 10 year old boys? that is gold



    You don't read very well. As I stated in many threads, I'm into MEN, not boys.
    A ten year old boy is not legal and never will be so your point is not even relevant. I'm personally not attracted to even older guys who look boyish, so I'm certainly not into seventeen year olds. But if a seventeen year old and a fifty year old have a mutual attraction to each other, what's the big deal as long as it's in a state where seventeen is legal?


    so just ebcause something is legal makes it alright? You obviously don't get it
    you have high morals, so pedophilia is legal in some places, so that is acceptable as long as it's legal? 17 and 50 year old is definitely disturbing and revolting, 17 year old does not have maturity and life experience and can be easily manipulated, just like a 10 year old


    Good man... Your Mother taught you well. Don't let these people absorb you like a fucking piece of cum. They are evil. They don't give a FUCK about anyone. All they give a crap about is allowing rubberless sex to go on so they can spread the true nature of what they are which is disease I am dying of because of them.



    Dude, if you're dying it's because you spread your legs to a fucking stranger. No one here has fucked your nasty ass so stop blaming everyone here for your illnesses. icon_rolleyes.gif
    That is exactly right. I am so sick and damned tired of this disturbed dude from Orange County, CA always blaming the gay community for his deteriorating health and his AIDS suffering. He brought that on himself with his own carelessness. Homosexuality itself has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is his own stupidity that is the root cause of his dying a slow, painful death.
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    Nov 20, 2014 2:58 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    UndercoverMan saidThere is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.

    Let's just say you're 50, so we can sleep tonight....icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif

    People can date outside of their age. It is what it is. But if you're an adult, it's morally questionable that when a teenager hits on you, you think that means fuck them.



    You still have yet to describe what exactly makes these encounters "immoral."
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    Nov 20, 2014 3:04 AM GMT
    Cash saidThe last Guy I dated was 93

    I am 46.

    Was HE a pedophile???

    Was My innocence being savagely ripped from My soul because He was twice My age???


    No, because that's not what a pedophile is.

    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREPedophilia or paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger.