Disturbing encounter...

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 3:19 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    HottJoe said
    UndercoverMan saidThere is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.

    Let's just say you're 50, so we can sleep tonight....icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif

    People can date outside of their age. It is what it is. But if you're an adult, it's morally questionable that when a teenager hits on you, you think that means fuck them.



    You still have yet to describe what exactly makes these encounters "immoral."

    Legally it's called statutory rape. So I could call it that instead.

    It's morally questionable because adults are supposed to know that kids are trying to grow up too fast, and they are supposed to guide them. Teenagers want to do a lot of stupid things. Adults are supposed to put them on a better path. It's called being a role model. Fucking them is not being a role model. It's robbing them.

    It sucks being gay because we can't always find a guy to take to the school dance. We don't have a path in place for us to follow, but you still have to pick right and wrong, that means morals. I just find this situation morally questionable, especially when older guys only date young because they're using them for their youth.
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    Nov 20, 2014 3:23 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Scruffypup said
    HottJoe said
    UndercoverMan saidThere is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.

    Let's just say you're 50, so we can sleep tonight....icon_lol.gif

    icon_confused.gif

    People can date outside of their age. It is what it is. But if you're an adult, it's morally questionable that when a teenager hits on you, you think that means fuck them.



    You still have yet to describe what exactly makes these encounters "immoral."

    Legally it's called statutory rape. So I could call it that instead.

    It's morally questionable because adults are supposed to know that kids are trying to grow up too fast, and they are supposed to guide them. Teenagers want to do a lot of stupid things. Adults are supposed to put them on a better path. It's called being a role model. Fucking them is not being a role model. It's robbing them.

    It sucks being gay because we can't always find a guy to take to the school dance. We don't have a path in place for us to follow, but you still have to pick right and wrong, that means morals. I just find this situation morally questionable, especially when older guys only date young because they're using them for their youth.




    No, I'm talking about legal aged people here. What is "immoral" about an 18 year old having sex with a 50 year old if they are both attracted to each other?
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    Nov 20, 2014 3:26 AM GMT
    roadbikeRob said
    Scruffypup said
    Copernicus said
    Bonaparts said
    Scruffypup said
    atlanticshore said
    Scruffypup said17 is legal in my state. And when I was that age, my greatest fantasy was to have sex with a 40+ man. Not sure why the OP is being such an ageist prick though. If a legal aged young guy finds a 50 year old attractive and vice versa, who are you to judge it as "revolting?" There was a time when many people thought interracial relationships were "revolting."


    so if 10 was legal in your state you would run after 10 year old boys? that is gold



    You don't read very well. As I stated in many threads, I'm into MEN, not boys.
    A ten year old boy is not legal and never will be so your point is not even relevant. I'm personally not attracted to even older guys who look boyish, so I'm certainly not into seventeen year olds. But if a seventeen year old and a fifty year old have a mutual attraction to each other, what's the big deal as long as it's in a state where seventeen is legal?


    so just ebcause something is legal makes it alright? You obviously don't get it
    you have high morals, so pedophilia is legal in some places, so that is acceptable as long as it's legal? 17 and 50 year old is definitely disturbing and revolting, 17 year old does not have maturity and life experience and can be easily manipulated, just like a 10 year old


    Good man... Your Mother taught you well. Don't let these people absorb you like a fucking piece of cum. They are evil. They don't give a FUCK about anyone. All they give a crap about is allowing rubberless sex to go on so they can spread the true nature of what they are which is disease I am dying of because of them.



    Dude, if you're dying it's because you spread your legs to a fucking stranger. No one here has fucked your nasty ass so stop blaming everyone here for your illnesses. icon_rolleyes.gif
    That is exactly right. I am so sick and damned tired of this disturbed dude from Orange County, CA always blaming the gay community for his deteriorating health and his AIDS suffering. He brought that on himself with his own carelessness. Homosexuality itself has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is his own stupidity that is the root cause of his dying a slow, painful death.


    Guys, stop this.

    It's not funny or worthwhile.

    Please move on.
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    Nov 20, 2014 6:38 AM GMT
    Cash said
    roadbikeRob said
    Scruffypup said
    Copernicus said
    Bonaparts said
    Scruffypup said
    atlanticshore said
    Scruffypup said17


    Good man... Your Mother taught you well. Don't let these people absorb you like a fucking piece of cum. They are evil. They don't give a FUCK about anyone. All they give a crap about is allowing rubberless sex to go on so they can spread the true nature of what they are which is disease I am dying of because of them.



    Dude, if you're dying it's because you spread your legs to a fucking stranger. No one here has fucked your nasty ass so stop blaming everyone here for your illnesses. icon_rolleyes.gif
    That is exactly right. I am so sick and damned tired of this disturbed dude from Orange County, CA always blaming the gay community for his deteriorating health and his AIDS suffering. He brought that on himself with his own carelessness. Homosexuality itself has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is his own stupidity that is the root cause of his dying a slow, painful death.


    Guys, stop this.

    It's not funny or worthwhile.

    Please move on.


    Yes, stop it. Copernicus needs to go. Everyone please ignore his posts and he will disappear. Resist the urge to engage him. He's obviously mentally unbalanced.

    PLEASE IGNORE HIM. DO NOT FEED THE CRAZY TROLL.
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    Nov 20, 2014 6:52 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    UndercoverMan saidThere is a 24 year 355 days difference in our ages. He's well above 17 years of age.

    It may be difficult for some to believe but we have much in common and enjoy each others' company very much.

    Let's just say you're 50, so we can sleep tonight....icon_lol.gif


    Rest assured he is very much an adult. He was very much so when I met him. He is a college graduate with a good head on his shoulders. I robbed no cradle and he's not after my vast fortune because there is none.

    He told me that he has always been attracted to older men and never dated anyone his age; albeit I'm the oldest he's been with.
  • REBEL_YELL

    Posts: 40

    Nov 20, 2014 10:26 AM GMT
    It wasn't to long ago that I was 17 and just really dealing with my sexuality..I had no interest in a 50 yr old man....I would have looked at him as if he was my father and been sickened by thought...I wanted guys my age or a little older....if a 50 yr old hit on me....gross...I think the boy may have daddy issues
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    Nov 20, 2014 3:29 PM GMT
    REBEL_YELL saidIt wasn't to long ago that I was 17 and just really dealing with my sexuality..I had no interest in a 50 yr old man....I would have looked at him as if he was my father and been sickened by thought...I wanted guys my age or a little older....if a 50 yr old hit on me....gross...I think the boy may have daddy issues


    I think that many gay sons are rejected by their fathers. Even if the boy isn't out the father KNOWS or highly suspects his son is gay. I'm sorry but a parent knows. They may not want to admit it and certainly don't want their suspicion confirmed, so they reject the kid. I'm not saying they throw them out the house but they distance themselves and not invest much time or energy in building a relationship. I believe the makes some young gay teens seek the company and approval of an older man or father figure if you will. This doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. But older gay men have a responsibility to guide and mentor young gays and not take advantage and certainly not abuse an underage boy or someone confusing sex with love and acceptance (which can happen at any age).
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    Nov 20, 2014 3:53 PM GMT


    The more things change the more things stay the same,and now, being 59, I've been seeing gay men on here reinvent the wheel on several subjects, or try to.

    Circa 1976. I was 21 and myself and several hundred others of my age (we were the boomers, giant demographic) were hot after the Sean Connery/Charlton Heston etc older man phenom. I watched a group of 20 somethings pass around 'Don', a handsome fellow of 50 whose partner had died. Eventually I dated him a few times. No sex, just cuddles and lots of outdoor stuff, boating, hiking, hanging out at English Bay with the usual score of young admirers of his.

    He took a lot of flak over it from others his age, calling him chickenhawk and a host of other epithets, which still happens today, although I'm reading it here from a younger crowd. Were Don here today some of you'd be drawing and quartering him.

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 5:47 PM GMT
    This thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5262

    Nov 20, 2014 5:57 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidThis thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif

    The flaw in your thinking is you start with the assumption that in an older/younger relationship, each party is "using" the other for some unspecified benefit. My (much) younger partner simply likes older guys. Finds them sexually appealing. I see his porn. He's also educated and mature and our relationship is no different than any couples in terms of power. I dated exclusively in my own age range until we met. Sure, I was attracted to him but for many reasons, including his physical youth. We are no more using each other than any other couple uses the other for love and support.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 6:02 PM GMT
    Destinharbor said
    HottJoe saidThis thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif

    The flaw in your thinking is you start with the assumption that in an older/younger relationship, each party is "using" the other for some unspecified benefit. My (much) younger partner simply likes older guys. Finds them sexually appealing. I see his porn. He's also educated and mature and our relationship is no different than any couples in terms of power. I dated exclusively in my own age range until we met. Sure, I was attracted to him but for many reasons, including his physical youth. We are no more using each other than any other couple uses the other for love and support.

    It doesn't sound like you're describing a teenager. How old is he?

    Also you have a son, don't you? Did you care if your kids dated potential internet predators when they were teenagers?
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    Nov 20, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidThis thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif


    You might not like some of this:

    I don't know the stats and when I try to google them I just get a whole bunch of resultant crap, so I google scholared [url]http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=percent+pederasty&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C10&as_sdtp=[/url] and got this that I don't have access to complete article so just cutting pasting here some of the resultant link descriptions:

    RA Eve, DG Renslow - Social Behavior and Personality: an …, 1980 - ingentaconnect.com

    ... a result of asking the question, “Have young children sexually aroused you?” Seven percent reported pederastic ... Thus, we find that a total of 13% were “oriented” towards pederastic arousal at some point ...


    and here's another one

    GP Jones - Journal of homosexuality, 1982 - Taylor & Francis

    ... that the socialization process leaves most people with some vestige of pederastic interest that ...
    Eighty-eight percent of the children were females, 12% males; 40% were less than ... Pederasty as such is not discussed separately; most material deals with hetero- sexual pedophilia. ...


    I wish I had better info than that but just looking at those numbers and adding to that my own experience in the gay world, it doesn't make sense to say that this is a huge issue if it's much of an issue at all.

    If at all, then a matter of morality or taste, depending on how you want to play that. If under-aged, then of course a matter of law. But I'd think that most of the gay community seek out men and not just men but masculinity. So here's the part you are not going to like. I'm going to try to phrase this as least offensively as I can, as I do not mean to be offensive by it, merely inquisitive about a mechanism I suspect:

    Is it possible that you feel so strongly because you might in some way be associating youth with a not yet fully developed masculinity?

    And you're going to like this even less: If there is a spec of truth in that, then is it possible that you might be a little jealous that a man might go after youth but might not be attracted to aged effeminacy.

    I know that's very off the wall speculation so feel free to deny robustly.
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    Nov 20, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
    HottJoe.....you seen to vacillate from being a bleeding heart liberal to something resembling a Bible thumping Baptist at times. This is one of those times. I agree that there is something wrong with men who cannot find men of their own age attractive. But you seem to assume anytime a younger and older man find each other attractive that there is some form of abuse or coercion taking place. No one here is talking about under aged guys so the legality issue is not even a factor. My guess is you have some deep hangups about sex.
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    Nov 20, 2014 7:15 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidThis thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif


    Yep, and then some ask themselves why some people equate gays to child molesters or rapists. No idea why gays are obsessed with youth.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 7:15 PM GMT
    No, I'm not jealous of 18 year olds, or 50 year olds. I've never had sex with a 50 year old. I met my husband a month before I turned 25, and before that the oldest guy that I ever dated was 36.

    I'm looking forward to being 50 and married. I already know I'll love my husband more than ever.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 7:17 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidHottJoe.....you seen to vacillate from being a bleeding heart liberal to something resembling a Bible thumping Baptist at times. This is one of those times. I agree that there is something wrong with men who cannot find men of their own age attractive. But you seem to assume anytime a younger and older man find each other attractive that there is some form of abuse or coercion taking place. No one here is talking about under aged guys so the legality issue is not even a factor. My guess is you have some deep hangups about sex.

    I only have sex with my husband, and he would laugh if he read this. He thinks I'm so wild and crazy in bed.icon_twisted.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 7:28 PM GMT
    Don't get me wrong. I think there are very attractive guys in their fifties. I didn't really notice them much until I was over 30.... I definitely like the minds of older guys and having conversations with them. I'm not looking to get my digs in. I just don't think teenagers really need to be dating guys older than their parents. It's not like a teenager is a teenager forever. It can wait.
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    Nov 20, 2014 7:39 PM GMT
    Sounds like you are just pushing the regrets of your life onto this kid. My first boyfriend was 24 and I was 16. I lied to him. It was a good experience for me. If anything I was too young to appreciate him.
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    Nov 20, 2014 7:44 PM GMT
    What was this thread about again? Same old same old?

    Very occasionally I get a contact from someone who soon "confesses" to being under-aged. I sort of figure that most of them are just somebody trolling me. Ignore, forget.

    Very, very rarely, they appear to be someone genuinely looking for help with serious issues related to being a gay teen. In that case, they get referred to the appropriate social services agency.

    Speaking of disturbing, as noted in another thread, this hot mess popped up in the news yesterday: Prominent 66 y/o Gay Rights Activist and Democratic Donor, and his psycho 27 y/o ex-boyfriend headed to jail for messing around with a 15 y/o on Grindr icon_rolleyes.gif
    I know sex makes you stupid, but... really?

    http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-22648-terry_beans_problem.html
    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2014/11/terrence_bean_indicted_a_lane.html#incart_river
    http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2014/11/former_boyfriend_of_democratic.html#incart_river
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 7:46 PM GMT
    muscleboundfem saidSounds like you are just pushing the regrets of your life onto this kid. My first boyfriend was 24 and I was 16. I lied to him. It was a good experience for me. If anything I was too young to appreciate him.

    Is this directed at me?

    I only chimed in because I was starting to think I'd regret it if I didn't say something.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 7:49 PM GMT
    muscleboundfem saidSounds like you are just pushing the regrets of your life onto this kid. My first boyfriend was 24 and I was 16. I lied to him. It was a good experience for me. If anything I was too young to appreciate him.

    I've also never lied about my age. When I was a teenager, I didn't hide it to find sex. I didn't look for sex online at all. The guys who hit on teens were known as chicken hawks, and even talking to them was considered very disreputable.
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    Nov 20, 2014 7:55 PM GMT
    Having been that teen myself I want to dispel a few misconceptions. Firstly there's not always daddy issues involved. I was never looking for a father figure.

    Secondly not all older guys who like younger ones are predatory. The one I was with was potentially predatory but that's not the same for all.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 20, 2014 8:07 PM GMT
    DannyW saidHaving been that teen myself I want to dispel a few misconceptions. Firstly there's not always daddy issues involved. I was never looking for a father figure.

    Secondly not all older guys who like younger ones are predatory. The one I was with was potentially predatory but that's not the same for all.

    Danny, I worry about you. You seem vulnerable in many of your posts. I know you're 21 but you seem like someone who could easily be taken advantage of. I hope you're careful out there.
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    Nov 20, 2014 9:00 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    DannyW saidHaving been that teen myself I want to dispel a few misconceptions. Firstly there's not always daddy issues involved. I was never looking for a father figure.

    Secondly not all older guys who like younger ones are predatory. The one I was with was potentially predatory but that's not the same for all.

    Danny, I worry about you. You seem vulnerable in many of your posts. I know you're 21 but you seem like someone who could easily be taken advantage of. I hope you're careful out there.


    I'm not like that anymore. I have learned from all my past mistakes but thanks icon_smile.gif
  • Unnamed6

    Posts: 1365

    Nov 21, 2014 1:17 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidThis thread is indeed disturbing. I find it troubling to see so many older men justifying pederasty. Why can't they date men their own age? Are they not attracted to their own peers, yet they expect young people to toss their youth to them for their sexual pleasures?

    I feel bad for young gay men reading this and I can see why many of them don't trust the older generation. I think the cycle of daddy son sex relationships is screwing people up, to the point where they support middle aged men preying on teenagers with no questions asked.

    It just seems like their minds must be broken.icon_sad.gif


    How can I say this, a person who just happened to date a 17 year old in more ancient times (or I guess a couple of years older), and was an older man, likely held more merits then the men in this thread... And because of his merits he may have been attractive to just about anyone and not just peculiarly so by today's jailbait or the slightly older (whether male or female, and who I suspect will have some kind of psychological issue at hand, since the attraction is so inflexible and specific in comparison to even race based or gender based attractions). Ideally there wouldn't be issues of old man fetish involved in such relationships or the older man trying to coax and diminish the inhibitions of a younger person, or for an older man himself to possess an inflexible attraction to just younger persons, or a fetish if you will.

    So for caution's sake, younger guys should avoid the vast majority of older gay men as they likely have an attraction to you based upon an inflexible fetish of sorts and not an attraction based upon the merits of you as a person. Though agism can make young guys rather insensitive and "racist", has actually spared, by default, relationships with individuals, who perhaps at no real fault of their own, are simply inflexible in their attractions and may have a level of willingness to exploit a younger person or engage in behaviors that otherwise satisfy their rather inflexible attraction and desire.