When everything is great with a guy except anal sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2014 8:48 PM GMT
    Hi All,

    For the past few months, I've been seeing a guy I really like. We get on well together, he's an amazing kisser, great at oral sex, foreplay etc but unfortunately the few times we had anal sex it didn't go too well.

    I recently tried to top him but I lost my hard-on as soon as I put the condom on. I felt like s*hit but he still wanted to pleasurize me and jerked me off. It's ironic because I topped a few guys just before I met him and didn't lose my erection because I was more relaxed as they were just casual sex.

    With him it's because I really like him that I panicked.

    On the few times he topped me, it start to hurt after a while and when he realized this it put him off too. The last time we used a lot of lube, he kept slipping out. I could kiss him all night long which says a lot; just wish anal sex was better!

    Has anyone else had the same problem?

    Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5237

    Nov 26, 2014 9:21 PM GMT
    No, but just keep trying. Remember, the thing that is good is that you like each other a lot. Laugh with him at the trouble you're having and communicate a lot while having sex. Tell what feels good and vice versa. Different guys like it different ways. Try to stay relaxed and go with the flow, even if you fail at something. There's always next time. If at the end, you decide that you love sex with most guys and the two of you just don't match, well then you may have to make a decision. I've had that happen but surprisingly, it was about nothing more than kissing. But sometimes things work out best when both have put some effort into making it good. Since it sounds like both of you are inexperienced, try buying the book Joy of Gay Sex. Lots of good info. There was a thread on here recently you can probably find.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2014 9:32 PM GMT
    Thanks for the reply Destinharbor.

    I have a good bit of experience and I'm 80% bottom but nevertheless, it would be good to read this book you recommend

    For me kissing is so important. I've been with other guys before who I had good sex with but who weren't good kissers and that ruined it for me.

    For me anal sex isn't so important; sure I like to have it but not each time I'm with a guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 27, 2014 12:00 AM GMT
    if you really like each other it will all work out. Keep relaxed and keep getting to know each other. icon_biggrin.gif