He Doesn't Want To Leave His GF

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 07, 2014 11:57 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidI appreciate no one has bashed me or made me feel like a bad person for even feeling this way!!

    Because most guys here when they were in their 20s have had crushes, rational or not, and can remember what it was like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 07, 2014 11:59 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    AnonymousNYC saidI appreciate no one has bashed me or made me feel like a bad person for even feeling this way!!

    Because most guys here when they were in their 20s have had crushes, rational or not, and can remember what it was like.

    I feel it was deeper than a crush
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 12:02 AM GMT
    You are in a no win situation.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 4597

    Dec 08, 2014 12:29 AM GMT
    facepalm...are ALL homos masochists?

    Why if you are the relationship kind of type, would you ever get involved with someone who isnt a self acknowledged HOMO?

    I mean, is it really hard to ask a guy if he likes vagina or cock, with no grey area?




  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 8:00 AM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidOnly 1 thing we havent done is intercourse (because i actually respect his relationship)


    WTF? You cuddle, you have oral sex, you see each other constantly, you've met his family, etc. and you think you are RESPECTING his relationship?!?! Get your head out of the clouds. How is what you're doing NOT causing him to cheat emotionally? How are you "respecting" his girlfriend exactly??

    Reality check.

    Let him figure this out without you. You're confusing him with your delusion of what this is. Let him go figure this out on his own. If his girlfriend is pregnant, he's got responsibilities that really don't involve you. Do him a favor and give him space to work thru what he needs to do.

    I understand that you probably love him and that letting him go would be hard, but you've got to call a spade a spade, and stop lying to yourself. He's not the one for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 12:28 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    AnonymousNYC saidOnly 1 thing we havent done is intercourse (because i actually respect his relationship)


    WTF? You cuddle, you have oral sex, you see each other constantly, you've met his family, etc. and you think you are RESPECTING his relationship?!?! Get your head out of the clouds. How is what you're doing NOT causing him to cheat emotionally? How are you "respecting" his girlfriend exactly??

    Reality check.

    Let him figure this out without you. You're confusing him with your delusion of what this is. Let him go figure this out on his own. If his girlfriend is pregnant, he's got responsibilities that really don't involve you. Do him a favor and give him space to work thru what he needs to do.

    I understand that you probably love him and that letting him go would be hard, but you've got to call a spade a spade, and stop lying to yourself. He's not the one for you.


    I was gonna say this but you beat me to it lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 12:46 PM GMT
    what's the L word?

    lesbian?



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 12:54 PM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    AnonymousNYC saidOnly 1 thing we havent done is intercourse (because i actually respect his relationship)


    WTF? You cuddle, you have oral sex, you see each other constantly, you've met his family, etc. and you think you are RESPECTING his relationship?!?! Get your head out of the clouds. How is what you're doing NOT causing him to cheat emotionally? How are you "respecting" his girlfriend exactly??

    Reality check.

    Let him figure this out without you. You're confusing him with your delusion of what this is. Let him go figure this out on his own. If his girlfriend is pregnant, he's got responsibilities that really don't involve you. Do him a favor and give him space to work thru what he needs to do.

    I understand that you probably love him and that letting him go would be hard, but you've got to call a spade a spade, and stop lying to yourself. He's not the one for you.


    Maybe i was delusional, sure didnt feel like it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 1:00 PM GMT
    GET OUT OF THIS MESS AND FAST. this will never work out and you will be put through the emotional ringer. do yourself a HUGE favor and just sever all ties. the sooner the better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 1:15 PM GMT
    In the ongoing spirit of NOT BLASTING you....I will be blunt.icon_rolleyes.gif

    Quit trolling for the answer YOU want, when HE HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU HIS ANSWER.

    Stop confusing AGE with MATURITY...because it sounds like he's one-up on you.

    Straight, bi, gay, etc...Guys can like and want guy friends and NOT always and only for sex, or cuddles or whatever. Sometimes its just about companionship, support and a soundboard. It sounds like that is what he wants from you in this: FRIENDSHIP.

    He has experimented with guys and you were one of them. He seems to feel that you have more to offer than sex. He has decided to let the sex with guys go as a phase, but wants to invest into a friendship with you for whatever reason.
    Grow the hell up and recognize that!
    If his girlfriend IS pregnant, with HIS CHILD, he has some responsibilities ahead of you and your dick. He seems to recognize that reality. He is going to NEED some friends that aren't going to pressure him for their own selfish lust.

    You don't RESPECT him and can't possibly LOVE him if this is why you want to end the relationship. GROW UP and recognize your own LUST for what it is. Recognize that he has changed and evolved in his feelings for you.....GROW UP and CATCH UP....Let it go....

    Yes, it will hurt, especially when it is a NEW concept for you to deal with: "Friends.... WITHOUT SEX....."
    Good Luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 1:32 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidFirst of all i want to start by saying i respect the opinion of this forum being that i dont have many platonic gay friends ..

    Also i am not a homewrecker!! I met this "kid" a year ago he was 18 i was 26.. So what more could it be than a quick hookup. Fast forward 7 months ago he comes back in my life and we see eachother CONSTANTLY at least 3 times a week, sometimes more sometimes less. A month into our budding romance i learned hes working it out with his ex girlfriend (hes a guy virgin, only been blown by 2 guys in the past hes met on grindr)

    Ive met his family, hes met mine, we've cuddled on numerous occasions, spent holidays together.. Only 1 thing we havent done is intercourse (because i actually respect his relationship)

    Last night after a blow up (me upset we dont cuddle) he told me his girlfriend doesnt like us hanging out and he wants to be just friends. I was hurt because although he isnt at my maturity level, ive formed a bond with this teen. I almost used the L word.

    What do i do? I feel i know the answer... Never beg anyone to be with you, but I feel he is confused and doesnt know what he wants, I just dont think I'm patient enough to wait around.

    PS. His girlfriend might be pregnant

    Please HELP my heart
    I even changed my grindr status to Exclusive


    Walk away from such a dysfunctional association. It is the best thing for both of you. Walk away. There is no right in this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 5:46 PM GMT
    I've seen too many gay guys waste their entire lives, until they are old and grey, chasing other guys who are mostly straight and just beyond reach. Is this what you want? The guys I've known who have done this find the chase so enticing they can't seem to give it up. But it ultimately leaves them sad and alone. You are still young enought to break what could become a destructive pattern. Ask yourself what you really want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 9:11 PM GMT
    Sporty_G saidIn the ongoing spirit of NOT BLASTING you....I will be blunt.icon_rolleyes.gif

    Quit trolling for the answer YOU want, when HE HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU HIS ANSWER.

    Stop confusing AGE with MATURITY...because it sounds like he's one-up on you.

    Straight, bi, gay, etc...Guys can like and want guy friends and NOT always and only for sex, or cuddles or whatever. Sometimes its just about companionship, support and a soundboard. It sounds like that is what he wants from you in this: FRIENDSHIP.

    He has experimented with guys and you were one of them. He seems to feel that you have more to offer than sex. He has decided to let the sex with guys go as a phase, but wants to invest into a friendship with you for whatever reason.
    Grow the hell up and recognize that!
    If his girlfriend IS pregnant, with HIS CHILD, he has some responsibilities ahead of you and your dick. He seems to recognize that reality. He is going to NEED some friends that aren't going to pressure him for their own selfish lust.

    You don't RESPECT him and can't possibly LOVE him if this is why you want to end the relationship. GROW UP and recognize your own LUST for what it is. Recognize that he has changed and evolved in his feelings for you.....GROW UP and CATCH UP....Let it go....

    Yes, it will hurt, especially when it is a NEW concept for you to deal with: "Friends.... WITHOUT SEX....."
    Good Luck.


    I think u misread, If this was a friend from the start, I would be there for him whole heartedly and obviously get past a silly crush.. If that was the case i wouldnt have any friends..

    Basically u r calling me selfish because he chose his gf over me and i felt hurt. Im glad he found his happy.. I need to find mine.

    Just last week we were sexual. So im over the mixed signals. Yes im in my 20s but i refuse to have anyone in my life where theres a Grey area.. Its either Black or White

    I am very mature thank you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 08, 2014 11:22 PM GMT
    What's all the drama
    -By dudes go to the back of the line up; always.
    What about that pitch hitter that's been blowing up your phone?
    His dick not pretty enough for you?
    By dudes do have the prettiest penis, the cut ones anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2014 12:01 AM GMT
    got to suck him better and he will come back
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2014 12:12 AM GMT
    budri7 saidgot to suck him better and he will come back

    Duh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2014 10:25 AM GMT
    [quote]Last night after a blow up (me upset we dont cuddle) he told me his girlfriend doesnt like us hanging out and he wants to be just friends. I was hurt because although he isnt at my maturity level, ive formed a bond with this teen. I almost used the L word.[/quote]

    If you're getting mad over cuddling, and he's pushing back and telling you he wants to be friends, it's pretty clear it's time for you to move on.

    Cut ties and focus on you. Let him deal with his own shit. Your plate is quite full with your own.

    You've gotten some great advice in this thread. I hope you'll use it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2014 3:04 PM GMT
    Tenebrism said[quote]Last night after a blow up (me upset we dont cuddle) he told me his girlfriend doesnt like us hanging out and he wants to be just friends. I was hurt because although he isnt at my maturity level, ive formed a bond with this teen. I almost used the L word.


    If you're getting mad over cuddling, and he's pushing back and telling you he wants to be friends, it's pretty clear it's time for you to move on.

    Cut ties and focus on you. Let him deal with his own shit. Your plate is quite full with your own.

    You've gotten some great advice in this thread. I hope you'll use it. [/quote]
    I will.. I have already
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 13, 2014 2:13 AM GMT
    talk to him be clear dont doubt tell him what u want , what you expect and give him time to put everything together dont force him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 13, 2014 6:12 PM GMT
    Oh lord....this is tough...i'd say run. It's not your problem to deal with. He has to work this crap out for himself. Until he's ready to love you, you'll just be wasting your time man. :/ ESPECIALLY if she pregnant
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2014 4:33 AM GMT
    Move on!!! Not a mess that you want to be a part of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 14, 2014 1:43 PM GMT
    Well its been a week NO CONTACT seems longer.. Im sure for the both of us.. and i miss his laugh sometimes but i gotta put myself first especially going into a new year

    In the gay world its not easy to find honest faithful companionship but if you guys still believe i guess i should to..

    When he told me she was pregnant he mentioned, termination was a possibility, (i havent asked for an update)

    Idk do i need closure.. Or he just cant give me what i want

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 25, 2014 9:30 AM GMT
    you should block his number from your cell phone. that way when he calls you - you wont know or have to answer or have to feel anything about seeing his number.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 02, 2015 7:22 AM GMT
    We had sex last night twice.. Now what
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 02, 2015 7:35 AM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidWe had sex last night twice.. Now what

    have more sex until he marries his GF.