He Doesn't Want To Leave His GF

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    Mar 02, 2015 2:15 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidWe had sex last night twice.. Now what

    Well
    -I believe the record for this type of destructive relationship on REALJOCK is 3 years--WORK
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    Mar 02, 2015 5:04 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidCan i just add.. In a perfect world we wouldnt want our significant others to cheat, but i would prefer him cheat with a female who can give him what i don't have.. than another male, with the diseases out there


    eek! Please google STDs and straight women.

    Also consider this; his GF is calling the shots, and her demands are clearly more important than your relationship. What does this tell you? *intrigued*
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    Mar 02, 2015 10:23 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    AnonymousNYC saidWe had sex last night twice.. Now what

    Well
    -I believe the record for this type of destructive relationship on REALJOCK is 3 years--WORK

    Wat u mean
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    Mar 02, 2015 10:24 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    AnonymousNYC saidCan i just add.. In a perfect world we wouldnt want our significant others to cheat, but i would prefer him cheat with a female who can give him what i don't have.. than another male, with the diseases out there


    eek! Please google STDs and straight women.

    Also consider this; his GF is calling the shots, and her demands are clearly more important than your relationship. What does this tell you? *intrigued*


    Def protected and i feel like he wants his cake and eat it too
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    Mar 03, 2015 12:38 AM GMT
    [quote]
    It is unclear why some blokes think that oral sex is not sex; it is! In fact, at one time, it was far more popular than anal sex. It appears that the shift began in the late 1970s and most guys now are not even aware that oral sex was once more popular than anal sex. That can be documented.

    The "Advocate" was once a widely distributed gay newspaper. At the end of it were a few pages of personal advertisements which guys used to find partners. The ads were very specific on the type of sex guys wanted. They were abbreviated as follows:

    fa = French active, i.e., oral active
    fp = French passive, i.e., oral passive
    ga = Greek active, i.e., anal top
    gp = Greek passive, i.e., anal bottom
    v = versatile, i.e., almost anything

    From the ads, it was clear that oral was far more popular than anal and that many, or perhaps even most, guys wanted nothing to do with anal sex. Now it seems that many gay men think that they could not possibly survive without anal sex and are completely unaware that at one time it was not popular.

    The point is that oral sex is sex.[/quote]

    Interesting! I have not heard the terms French active, Greek active, etc. before. I wish the gay community had more of a sense of its own history and tried to pass it on. Thanks for the share.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4999

    Mar 03, 2015 6:20 AM GMT
    _ragazzo_ said[quote]
    It is unclear why some blokes think that oral sex is not sex; it is! In fact, at one time, it was far more popular than anal sex. It appears that the shift began in the late 1970s and most guys now are not even aware that oral sex was once more popular than anal sex. That can be documented.

    The "Advocate" was once a widely distributed gay newspaper. At the end of it were a few pages of personal advertisements which guys used to find partners. The ads were very specific on the type of sex guys wanted. They were abbreviated as follows:

    fa = French active, i.e., oral active
    fp = French passive, i.e., oral passive
    ga = Greek active, i.e., anal top
    gp = Greek passive, i.e., anal bottom
    v = versatile, i.e., almost anything

    From the ads, it was clear that oral was far more popular than anal and that many, or perhaps even most, guys wanted nothing to do with anal sex. Now it seems that many gay men think that they could not possibly survive without anal sex and are completely unaware that at one time it was not popular.

    The point is that oral sex is sex.


    Interesting! I have not heard the terms French active, Greek active, etc. before. I wish the gay community had more of a sense of its own history and tried to pass it on. Thanks for the share.[/quote]

    You're quite welcome.

    You may remember the Mary Hartman TV series which was a satire on soap operas:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Hartman,_Mary_Hartman

    In one episode, someone found a newspaper advertisement that was written in such a way that a naïve person wouldn't know that it was for an "escort". It specified that the person must be familiar with Greek and French cultures, so presumably people at the time knew that that meant.
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    Mar 04, 2015 4:57 PM GMT
    AnonymousNYC saidWe had sex last night twice.. Now what


    Now what? You're creating a situation that you either are delusional enough to believe will last (hint: it won't) OR you know it isn't going to work & you are trying to get attention through sympathy (hint: it's not working).

    You seem to be trolling for someone on here to tell you to stay the course & it will all work out. No one on here has told you this. You came on here for an answer, and you have one. I'm sure you're disappointed it's not the one you were hoping for, but it is the one our COLLECTIVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE has told us is the correct one.

    Now it's time for you to be responsible for your own happiness. No more whining, no more "What should I do?", no more "Even though his actions show he's really messed up, and he has a girlfriend with whose relationship I falsely claim to respect because I keep having sex with her bf, I care for him so much more than he's able to care for me!" Enough. Put a period at the end of it and move on.

    When this ends -- and make no mistake, one way or another, it WILL end -- you will be upset with yourself for having devoted so much time to a no-win situation.
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    Mar 05, 2015 2:56 AM GMT
    Listen, the more time you spend with him and you know you care for him more then just a friend, but he sees you only as a friend this will not bode well for you. You're only hurting yourself, and eventually this scenario was bound to happen.

    Either learn to just care for him as a friend with no romantic or physical contact, or sever ties.
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    Mar 05, 2015 7:51 AM GMT
    xanadude said
    AnonymousNYC saidWe had sex last night twice.. Now what


    Now what? You're creating a situation that you either are delusional enough to believe will last (hint: it won't) OR you know it isn't going to work & you are trying to get attention through sympathy (hint: it's not working).

    You seem to be trolling for someone on here to tell you to stay the course & it will all work out. No one on here has told you this. You came on here for an answer, and you have one. I'm sure you're disappointed it's not the one you were hoping for, but it is the one our COLLECTIVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE has told us is the correct one.

    Now it's time for you to be responsible for your own happiness. No more whining, no more "What should I do?", no more "Even though his actions show he's really messed up, and he has a girlfriend with whose relationship I falsely claim to respect because I keep having sex with her bf, I care for him so much more than he's able to care for me!" Enough. Put a period at the end of it and move on.

    When this ends -- and make no mistake, one way or another, it WILL end -- you will be upset with yourself for having devoted so much time to a no-win situation.


    Thx i appreciate the wisdom. I certainly wont be at home waitin by the phone but.. Our chemistry is crazy
  • CX838

    Posts: 102

    Mar 09, 2015 4:18 PM GMT
    i was 19 and he was 17. we were looking for fun, and he told me he is bisexual at the beginning. I still remember the first time we fuck in the changing room after we swim. then he asked me out again and asked me to be his bf 2 months after. We spent most of time together. we went to camping for our birthdays cause mine is 3 days after his. we dated around a year. my mom was having chemo and surgeries, but i tried my best. One day he brought a gal when we meet. he told me she is his cousin. I can feel it strongly what a stupid lie it is. i told my best friend(a gal) about this cousin thing. So she and her brother got him on facebook without telling me. tried to tease him. he said he has a gf but looking for fun. that's how i knew my ex is everyone welcome.
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    Mar 13, 2015 8:43 AM GMT
    TerraFirma said
    AnonymousNYC saidOnly 1 thing we havent done is intercourse (because i actually respect his relationship)


    WTF? You cuddle, you have oral sex, you see each other constantly, you've met his family, etc. and you think you are RESPECTING his relationship?!?! Get your head out of the clouds. How is what you're doing NOT causing him to cheat emotionally? How are you "respecting" his girlfriend exactly??

    Reality check.

    Let him figure this out without you. You're confusing him with your delusion of what this is. Let him go figure this out on his own. If his girlfriend is pregnant, he's got responsibilities that really don't involve you. Do him a favor and give him space to work thru what he needs to do.

    I understand that you probably love him and that letting him go would be hard, but you've got to call a spade a spade, and stop lying to yourself. He's not the one for you.


    +1
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    Mar 13, 2015 12:58 PM GMT
    This is actually an extremely easy situation.

    Option 1. Continue to be with him, play with him, have everything you have, while learning to be content that no matter how much he is into you, the fact that he wont leave his girlfriend means he likes her more. She will always be in the picture unless she dumps him first. Not only will she be in the picture, she will be much bigger in the picture than you will ever be. So option 1 is to just come to peace with the fact that you will always be second to her. if you can maturely handle that (i couldn't), then carry on and enjoy!


    Option 2... (The much smarter option), end it. Cut contact. Completely. Ignore him when he initiates contact Don't think "oh he finally made contact he loves me we can be togetehr i miss him so much blah blah blah," You will never heal. Ignore him when initiates contact. NO CONTACT. In the meantime, go find guys who don't already have girlfriends, keep meeting new people, and let him realize what he lost. But don't ever go back to him if she is still there.


    Option 3 ... Limbo from hell. You keep playing with him, slowly falling in love with him, while he stays with this girl, eventually marries her, and either fully phases you out of the picture or keeps you as a fuck toy on the side (which becomes less and less often), all while you rip yourself to shreds over and over and over, for the rest of your life.


    Logically, the answer is easy. Option 2 is the only solution where YOU win. It takes a strong person with strong emotional control to walk away from an emotional addiction though, and you will most likely choose option 3, and destroy your entire life over somebody who probably won't choose you.

    Sorry bud, most of us have been there.
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    Mar 13, 2015 4:02 PM GMT
    ^^
    IRFire66 gives about the best advice of anyone in this thread.

    OP: Just be rational about your situation - you have only one good option.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 13, 2015 5:13 PM GMT
    He Doesn't Want To Leave His GF, you already had the answer on the title. So... Move on. Period.
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    Mar 17, 2015 1:46 AM GMT
    IRFire66 saidThis is actually an extremely easy situation.

    Option 1. Continue to be with him, play with him, have everything you have, while learning to be content that no matter how much he is into you, the fact that he wont leave his girlfriend means he likes her more. She will always be in the picture unless she dumps him first. Not only will she be in the picture, she will be much bigger in the picture than you will ever be. So option 1 is to just come to peace with the fact that you will always be second to her. if you can maturely handle that (i couldn't), then carry on and enjoy!


    Option 2... (The much smarter option), end it. Cut contact. Completely. Ignore him when he initiates contact Don't think "oh he finally made contact he loves me we can be togetehr i miss him so much blah blah blah," You will never heal. Ignore him when initiates contact. NO CONTACT. In the meantime, go find guys who don't already have girlfriends, keep meeting new people, and let him realize what he lost. But don't ever go back to him if she is still there.


    Option 3 ... Limbo from hell. You keep playing with him, slowly falling in love with him, while he stays with this girl, eventually marries her, and either fully phases you out of the picture or keeps you as a fuck toy on the side (which becomes less and less often), all while you rip yourself to shreds over and over and over, for the rest of your life.


    Logically, the answer is easy. Option 2 is the only solution where YOU win. It takes a strong person with strong emotional control to walk away from an emotional addiction though, and you will most likely choose option 3, and destroy your entire life over somebody who probably won't choose you.

    Sorry bud, most of us have been there.


    That was amazing and real.. Lol ima have him read this. I remember being 19 and confused with my sexuality so in 5-10 years when he finds himself i'll be around