Oct 25, 2018 8:07 PM GMT
Radd saidI've noticed a disturbing trend that's happened since this thread was started in 2015. Not only are we now expected to take an HIV+ person's word that he's undetectable, but now we're being told we cannot even say certain words. You absolutely can't say you're "clean" because they take everything literally now. To say "clean" implies they're dirty somehow. And as of late, I'm seeing a lot of guys on the dating apps scolding people for using the term "DDF." So apparently, we are now supposed to pretend that being disease free isn't a good thing? And although I personally prefer to not use condoms while on PrEP, I think it's abhorrent to shame HIV- men who insist on using condoms. It's their body and they have a right to protect themselves any way they so choose. I find it ridiculous that HIV+ men are offended by someone who wants to use a condom.
Radd, you are one of many people myself included, who are mystified as to why it is that a language culture, designed for the context of health professionals and their health promotions staff, has been adopted by a vocal minority, who have good intensions, are attempting to force the broader gay community to adopt those messages without properly addressing the 'elephant in the room' which is the obvious one, human nature.
Gay men wanting to limit their exposure of aquiring STI's, by limiting exposure to men who engage in high risk behaviour by their own volition, are now lectured to and result will be that those guys will simply keep those attitudes and find other means of meeting guys which don't leave them feeling they are obligated to make choices they don't feel comfortable with.
I particularly don't understand re. DDR because there are many men who would have no issue with Sex with treatment adherent POz guys but want to make it clear they don't tolerate chem sex, or are concerned about catching Syphilis for eg. As for trusting a guy you have just met based on his word no matter what he says his status is, should not be encouraged and reputible sexual health sources actually urge neg men to be educated about POz men who are treatment adherent being of no risk, but all the info is about when you become their partners and so are the stats. We all know guys lie when horny or get their health info wrong, so just make sure you protect yourself and don't get pressured into doing anything your not comfortable with no matter how hot he is