Seriously why can't I find a boyfriend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 10:03 PM GMT
    That's a decent plan OP, I'd simply caution against over-doing it and burning yourself out. But I think it's the right approach.

    I'm curious as to your experience/history. I know you said you hadn't had sex in a while, and I'm not asking about that. Have you ever had a "grown up" relationship before? Meaning a relationship outside of high school and your parents house?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 10:03 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Svnw688 saidActively looking for a b/f is the kiss of death. Guys can sense it, and will run away.

    Reel 'em in with sex and let natural mental processes of affection and bonding take over. It's how I've hooked all my meaningful relationships. I'm not joking. People want to be with a fun person. It should be carefree and easy. Eventually it turns from a hookup, to a hookup-shower, to a hookup-shower-TV, to fastfood-hookup-shower-tv-sleepover, and before you know it you're inseparable boyfriends going to concerts, nice restaurants and slowly but steadily weaving your lives and schedules around one another because that's what you each want.

    If you have to ask a person to "go steady" you're not there. Let nature naturally take its course, and stop trying to force it.



    that sounds frightening and creepy. icon_neutral.gif

    j/k. however, don't get why some guys in here are so desperate to have a boyfriend or love. what is the big deal with that shit? folks act like it's their main purpose in life.


    It clearly is not your thing Pazzy. Wanting a relationship and / or Love doesn't necessarily imply desperation - although the OP may be putting too much emphasis on the importance considering His current circumstances as frequently described in RJ forums.

    Since you have yet to experience either, you don't have much of a point of reference to really be offering any insights, although your opinion is valid considering YOUR circumstances.


    you should try someone else to take your insecurity out on someone else that cares. it ain't going to work with me.


    What insecurity are you referring to?

    An individual wanting a relationship and the experience of Love is NOT the equivalent of desperation. - although as stated!, the OP may be focusing too heavily on something He may not really be ready for.

    You have repeatedly stated that you have never had a relationship of any kind with anyone so you DON'T have a point of reference, just speculation.

    Nothing wrong with that, although you have a tendency to post authoritatively about topics that by your own admission you have no experience with.

    Not everything written towards you is an insult Pazzy. Someone disagreeing with you or questioning your thought process is not the same as looking down upon you.

    It seems you would have a better experience with the Guys on RJ if you weren't always so defensive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 10:09 PM GMT
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 said
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 saidMaybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.

    But I am cute... Short and cute go well together I thought.


    Whoa! there you go, you found something positive about yourself! icon_biggrin.gif

    I do have a lot of positive, really! Just sometimes I get depressed when I remember things that have happened to me and then get pretty damn negative...

    But I have a new approach:

    Firstly
    Highly limit dating websites, haven't had any success so I will place a lot less of a premium on it.

    Secondly:
    Get involved with my university's gay group.
    Get involved with Brazilian jiu jitsu groups
    Just get involved with a lot of things
    Get involved with pride week even
    Wear more sarcastic workout clothes/clothes
    Just let my bubbly kind personality shimmer through

    Why?:

    Then I will find FRIENDSHIPS and from there potentially even get a relationship with someone WORTH being in a relationship with. I seriously think this morning I came to this realization after yesterday being emotionally abused by two people I knew before.

    Soooooo new paradigm, be my wonderful eccentric and kind self and just enjoy being me. Keep working out, studying, etc and improving and fuck needing a boyfriend. I actually am awesome so yeah... time to go at it differently.


    DEFINITELY on the right track!!!

    Happy to read You have gained some insight and perspective on who You really are and what You potentially have to offer.!!!

    Now that YOU can begin to recognize all of it-- many others (including Hot Guys) will recognize it as well.

    Maybe You can finally enjoy the ride!!!

    icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_cool.gif
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 12, 2015 10:15 PM GMT
    Cash said
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 said
    NeuralShock said
    IRFire66 saidMaybe you are just too short to have a relationship? I think that's most likely the real culprit here.

    But I am cute... Short and cute go well together I thought.


    Whoa! there you go, you found something positive about yourself! icon_biggrin.gif

    I do have a lot of positive, really! Just sometimes I get depressed when I remember things that have happened to me and then get pretty damn negative...

    But I have a new approach:

    Firstly
    Highly limit dating websites, haven't had any success so I will place a lot less of a premium on it.

    Secondly:
    Get involved with my university's gay group.
    Get involved with Brazilian jiu jitsu groups
    Just get involved with a lot of things
    Get involved with pride week even
    Wear more sarcastic workout clothes/clothes
    Just let my bubbly kind personality shimmer through

    Why?:

    Then I will find FRIENDSHIPS and from there potentially even get a relationship with someone WORTH being in a relationship with. I seriously think this morning I came to this realization after yesterday being emotionally abused by two people I knew before.

    Soooooo new paradigm, be my wonderful eccentric and kind self and just enjoy being me. Keep working out, studying, etc and improving and fuck needing a boyfriend. I actually am awesome so yeah... time to go at it differently.


    DEFINITELY on the right track!!!

    Happy to read You have gained some insight and perspective on who You really are and what You potentially have to offer.!!!

    Now that YOU can begin to recognize all of it-- many others (including Hot Guys) will recognize it as well.

    Maybe You can finally enjoy the ride!!!

    icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_cool.gif

    I hope to get a cute one, and I am cute so hey... possible icon_biggrin.gif

    And ride huh icon_razz.gif

    Svnw688 saidThat's a decent plan OP, I'd simply caution against over-doing it and burning yourself out. But I think it's the right approach.

    I'm curious as to your experience/history. I know you said you hadn't had sex in a while, and I'm not asking about that. Have you ever had a "grown up" relationship before? Meaning a relationship outside of high school and your parents house?

    No, unfortunately icon_sad.gif
    I've been in school all my life, about to finish next year so I have 1.5 semesters of school left then I am out there kicking butt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 10:16 PM GMT
    Alberta???? Based on the lack of gays there in general, Good LUCK!

    But here's one!

    http://www.adam4adam.com/profile/view/alexander83

  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 12, 2015 10:24 PM GMT
    timmm55 saidAlberta???? Based on the lack of gays there in general, Good LUCK!

    But here's one!

    http://www.adam4adam.com/profile/view/alexander83


    SO IT ISN'T JUST ME!

    I thought there was a ridiculously small amount of gay guys here, it feels like the same rehash of the same 50-100 guys anywhere I look and it's getting stale.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 12, 2015 10:38 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Svnw688 saidActively looking for a b/f is the kiss of death. Guys can sense it, and will run away.

    Reel 'em in with sex and let natural mental processes of affection and bonding take over. It's how I've hooked all my meaningful relationships. I'm not joking. People want to be with a fun person. It should be carefree and easy. Eventually it turns from a hookup, to a hookup-shower, to a hookup-shower-TV, to fastfood-hookup-shower-tv-sleepover, and before you know it you're inseparable boyfriends going to concerts, nice restaurants and slowly but steadily weaving your lives and schedules around one another because that's what you each want.

    If you have to ask a person to "go steady" you're not there. Let nature naturally take its course, and stop trying to force it.



    that sounds frightening and creepy. icon_neutral.gif

    j/k. however, don't get why some guys in here are so desperate to have a boyfriend or love. what is the big deal with that shit? folks act like it's their main purpose in life.


    It clearly is not your thing Pazzy. Wanting a relationship and / or Love doesn't necessarily imply desperation - although the OP may be putting too much emphasis on the importance considering His current circumstances as frequently described in RJ forums.

    Since you have yet to experience either, you don't have much of a point of reference to really be offering any insights, although your opinion is valid considering YOUR circumstances.


    you should try someone else to take your insecurity out on someone else that cares. it ain't going to work with me.


    What insecurity are you referring to?

    An individual wanting a relationship and the experience of Love is NOT the equivalent of desperation. - although as stated!, the OP may be focusing too heavily on something He may not really be ready for.

    You have repeatedly stated that you have never had a relationship of any kind with anyone so you DON'T have a point of reference, just speculation.

    Nothing wrong with that, although you have a tendency to post authoritatively about topics that by your own admission you have no experience with.

    Not everything written towards you is an insult Pazzy. Someone disagreeing with you or questioning your thought process is not the same as looking down upon you.

    It seems you would have a better experience with the Guys on RJ if you weren't always so defensive.


    you took one thing out of context and RAN with it like i was attacking someone when i wasn't even doing that. hell, what i said was a simple question of something that i didn't understand. somehow, someway, you claimed that it was me giving out relationship advice and how some guys talking about always wanting to have a boyfriend is not desperation and whatever else. it's like you're looking for something in what i said to take issue with despite there being nothing that you're claiming. i'm calling you insecure because i'm assume the only reason you can take issue with what i'm saying is if you think i'm talking about someone such as yourself. i'm still trying to figure out what i said was wrong where you're telling me that i can't say it. then again, you've done that a bunch of times with me where i simply can't say anything if they don't roll with the thoughts or views of you.

    of course, if you're accusing me of things that i'm NOT doing, then i'm going to take offense and get defensive. makes sense. i don't need you to tell me what i can and can't say or your approval for that matter.


    I don't attempt to censor people Pazzy. It's not My thing, I am staunchly against it and most everyone here knows that.

    I didn't say you made a "wrong" statement I pointed out that you have no experience with the topic so there is no way you COULD understand.

    I didn't think you were attacking anyone. And never said as much.

    You have written frequently about what Guys should or shouldn't do when it comes to Sex, Love and Relationships. It is not your area of expertise.

    I never once thought you were talking about Me or anyone like Me. I didn't think your comment had anything to do with anything other than possibly the OP. Why would I? It is not a territory where I am personally lacking in any particular strength, so it is safe to say I am quite confident with where I stand with Sex, Love and Relationships. And since I base My view on a wide breadth of actual experience, I feel very at ease in discussing the topics -- with anyone who may be interested.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 2315

    Feb 13, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    I think that is true, start looking for a friend and let it cultivate. Those too eager to have a relationship always kind of turn me off. Nobody wants the desperate. On the other hand, you need to be boyfriend material in order to get one. I know I was emailing back and forth with one former member here. He whines and complains about how alone he is but one wrong word or if you even disagree with something he said, he's gone. He was constantly creating and deleting accounts, if he does that with people every time they disappoint him or they don't agree with him, he is not boyfriend material. He lacks the emotional stability and maturity to be in a relationship. Not to mention he isn't working and doesn't even have the money to take the train into the city to even meet someone. This is just my two cents and observations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2015 2:21 AM GMT
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Cash said
    pazzy said
    Svnw688 saidActively looking for a b/f is the kiss of death. Guys can sense it, and will run away.

    Reel 'em in with sex and let natural mental processes of affection and bonding take over. It's how I've hooked all my meaningful relationships. I'm not joking. People want to be with a fun person. It should be carefree and easy. Eventually it turns from a hookup, to a hookup-shower, to a hookup-shower-TV, to fastfood-hookup-shower-tv-sleepover, and before you know it you're inseparable boyfriends going to concerts, nice restaurants and slowly but steadily weaving your lives and schedules around one another because that's what you each want.

    If you have to ask a person to "go steady" you're not there. Let nature naturally take its course, and stop trying to force it.



    that sounds frightening and creepy. icon_neutral.gif

    j/k. however, don't get why some guys in here are so desperate to have a boyfriend or love. what is the big deal with that shit? folks act like it's their main purpose in life.


    It clearly is not your thing Pazzy. Wanting a relationship and / or Love doesn't necessarily imply desperation - although the OP may be putting too much emphasis on the importance considering His current circumstances as frequently described in RJ forums.

    Since you have yet to experience either, you don't have much of a point of reference to really be offering any insights, although your opinion is valid considering YOUR circumstances.


    you should try someone else to take your insecurity out on someone else that cares. it ain't going to work with me.


    What insecurity are you referring to?

    An individual wanting a relationship and the experience of Love is NOT the equivalent of desperation. - although as stated!, the OP may be focusing too heavily on something He may not really be ready for.

    You have repeatedly stated that you have never had a relationship of any kind with anyone so you DON'T have a point of reference, just speculation.

    Nothing wrong with that, although you have a tendency to post authoritatively about topics that by your own admission you have no experience with.

    Not everything written towards you is an insult Pazzy. Someone disagreeing with you or questioning your thought process is not the same as looking down upon you.

    It seems you would have a better experience with the Guys on RJ if you weren't always so defensive.


    you took one thing out of context and RAN with it like i was attacking someone when i wasn't even doing that. hell, what i said was a simple question of something that i didn't understand. somehow, someway, you claimed that it was me giving out relationship advice and how some guys talking about always wanting to have a boyfriend is not desperation and whatever else. it's like you're looking for something in what i said to take issue with despite there being nothing that you're claiming. i'm calling you insecure because i'm assume the only reason you can take issue with what i'm saying is if you think i'm talking about someone such as yourself. i'm still trying to figure out what i said was wrong where you're telling me that i can't say it. then again, you've done that a bunch of times with me where i simply can't say anything if they don't roll with the thoughts or views of you.

    of course, if you're accusing me of things that i'm NOT doing, then i'm going to take offense and get defensive. makes sense. i don't need you to tell me what i can and can't say or your approval for that matter.


    I don't attempt to censor people Pazzy. It's not My thing, I am staunchly against it and most everyone here knows that.

    I didn't say you made a "wrong" statement I pointed out that you have no experience with the topic so there is no way you COULD understand.

    I didn't think you were attacking anyone. And never said as much.

    You have written frequently about what Guys should or shouldn't do when it comes to Sex, Love and Relationships. It is not your area of expertise.

    I never once thought you were talking about Me or anyone like Me. I didn't think your comment had anything to do with anything other than possibly the OP. Why would I? It is not a territory where I am personally lacking in any particular strength, so it is safe to say I am quite confident with where I stand with Sex, Love and Relationships. And since I base My view on a wide breadth of actual experience, I feel very at ease in discussing the topics -- with anyone who may be interested.


    Oh Cash. You're not getting through to him because you're not speaking his language. Here....let me translate this to Pazzy for you:

    Yo brehhh. U needTa stop slAppin yo jaW bOut shiT u dOn't no sHit bout. Sheeeit. SiT yO Azz doWn n shUt dAfUckUP.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 13, 2015 2:23 AM GMT
    Cash said It is not a territory where I am personally lacking in any particular strength, so it is safe to say I am quite confident with where I stand with Sex, Love and Relationships. And since I base My view on a wide breadth of actual experience, I feel very at ease in discussing the topics -- with anyone who may be interested.


    And I appreciate the input, honestly from you and everything it's actually really helped and I feel better and better about the entire thing and the process.

    So I greatly appreciate the advice and input icon_biggrin.gif Thank you (and everyone else)!