"Ugly" or "Unhealthy": Is the LGBT community secretly fat-shaming?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 26, 2015 10:07 PM GMT
    Fat shaming? get real and pull your nose out of the PC dictionary.

    And it's funny some of you have called it superficial to say something about people's weight. It's just a superficial or even more so of to minimize people with such hoity toity piety in defense of obesity.

    For close to half a century I've heard Overweight gay men talk about how superficial "all other" gay men are for their lack of sexual interest in overweight men.

    With that sick logic I guess we're to assume the only gay men who aren't superficial are the ones who are overweight, right?

    But then, if that's the case, why do the majority of overweight gay men chase the exact men who are supposedly superficial? You know, the lean and athletic guys.

    This superficiality bullshit is bullshit spread around to make people feel better about something that has nothing to do with superficiality.

    But before I go further, there are some happy well adjusted round gay men without self image problems who are really quite comfortable with themselves as they are. But they are not the majority. I've had many friends over the years who are or were like this. I don't think one of them older than I am now is still alive and all the ones who are alive today are suffering from health problems due to decades of bad diet and being overweight. Diabetes, high blood pressure, strokes, more strokes, destroyed hips and knees. I visit them all when I can and never turn them down when they need favors but I will not throw them any sympathy for continuing to slowly kill themselves with their bad eating habits. I'm pretty assertive in encouraging them to make efforts to lose weight and some have. However they all know better than to throw the superficiality card around as their excuse for never having a long lasting positive relationship.

    How many threads in forums have you read from men in what they call "relationships" of weeks or months in which the other "partner" has no desire for sex? Back before the internet you could sit in just about any early evening gay haunt in the USA and hear the same scenario discussed over drinks by ... overweight gay men.

    Things have not changed much except the the faceless anonymity of the internet makes it possible for them to present an eternal gay soliloquy that goes back all the way to the gay poets of Rome and Greece who lamented being to portly to interest the pretty boys.

    I don't know what others expect of their true friends of years and decades. Anyone who's sensible should expect someone who will speak the truth even when the truth is difficult to accept. The guy on the OP who pointed out the weight of the other guy was being a better friend than someone who'd have the overweight guy lies.



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    Feb 26, 2015 11:28 PM GMT
    I hooked up with a fat guy not to long ago only because I have never had sex with one. I'm all about experiencing all faucets of life.

    It was gross. Glad I got that one scratched off my list. Now I can say: "Been there done that and have the grease stains on my sheets to prove it."
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    Feb 26, 2015 11:32 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidFrom my observations of being around overweight people, and myself (I used to weigh 240, now I'm down to 185), I'm more bothered about overweight people being self-indulgent and not really caring (about their health/body). In a way it's not a lot different than smoking. I used to smoke back in my 20s. Smoking is relaxing and enjoyable. In both cases it's easier to not think about what you're doing to yourself and just enjoy things, but they happen to be damaging.

    This! ⬆
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3762

    Feb 27, 2015 12:43 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    pazzy said
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidOverweight people deserve to be yelled at, and made fun of. They are a burden to the health care system. They cost society a lot of money.


    same could be said about promiscuous gay men though who burden the health care system with the rise of new hiv and std cases through unprotected sex. so according to your logic, it's okay for us to slut shame and make fun of gay sex and rush to judgment About gay people period. Folks love to throw bricks without realizing they ate indirectly speaking about themselves because theyre paVing the way for an even uglier picture.


    Bitch please. I'll choke the shit out of someone who said that to me. Are you really fucking serious? If ever you knew....the health care system MAKES MONEY AND PROFITS off of HIV meds (It's actually smoking, obesity, heart disease, and accidents that end up in the system. Gay sex is not even in the top 10 killers). Apart from care, most of them are all too eager to GIVE and diagnose HIV/meds to people.

    Someone needs to give you a good, stern kick up the bum, and a guide to what drives pharmaceutical/healthcare systems (sick or unhealthy people) and statistics that show gay sex is NOT a cause for healthcare burdening...for saying that. Someone need to tap your ass good!


    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.

    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.
    Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 1:02 AM GMT
    ThatSwimmerGuy said
    pazzy said
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    pazzy said
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidOverweight people deserve to be yelled at, and made fun of. They are a burden to the health care system. They cost society a lot of money.


    same could be said about promiscuous gay men though who burden the health care system with the rise of new hiv and std cases through unprotected sex. so according to your logic, it's okay for us to slut shame and make fun of gay sex and rush to judgment About gay people period. Folks love to throw bricks without realizing they ate indirectly speaking about themselves because theyre paVing the way for an even uglier picture.


    Bitch please. I'll choke the shit out of someone who said that to me. Are you really fucking serious? If ever you knew....the health care system MAKES MONEY AND PROFITS off of HIV meds (It's actually smoking, obesity, heart disease, and accidents that end up in the system. Gay sex is not even in the top 10 killers). Apart from care, most of them are all too eager to GIVE and diagnose HIV/meds to people.

    Someone needs to give you a good, stern kick up the bum, and a guide to what drives pharmaceutical/healthcare systems (sick or unhealthy people) and statistics that show gay sex is NOT a cause for healthcare burdening...for saying that. Someone need to tap your ass good!


    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.

    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.
    Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings.

    Gawd, that's so sweet. An actual apology on RJ. But I think most of us knew you were being sarcastic, an admirable trait in a gay man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    ThatSwimmerGuy said
    pazzy said
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    pazzy said
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidOverweight people deserve to be yelled at, and made fun of. They are a burden to the health care system. They cost society a lot of money.


    same could be said about promiscuous gay men though who burden the health care system with the rise of new hiv and std cases through unprotected sex. so according to your logic, it's okay for us to slut shame and make fun of gay sex and rush to judgment About gay people period. Folks love to throw bricks without realizing they ate indirectly speaking about themselves because theyre paVing the way for an even uglier picture.


    Bitch please. I'll choke the shit out of someone who said that to me. Are you really fucking serious? If ever you knew....the health care system MAKES MONEY AND PROFITS off of HIV meds (It's actually smoking, obesity, heart disease, and accidents that end up in the system. Gay sex is not even in the top 10 killers). Apart from care, most of them are all too eager to GIVE and diagnose HIV/meds to people.

    Someone needs to give you a good, stern kick up the bum, and a guide to what drives pharmaceutical/healthcare systems (sick or unhealthy people) and statistics that show gay sex is NOT a cause for healthcare burdening...for saying that. Someone need to tap your ass good!


    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.

    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.
    Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings.

    Gawd, that's so sweet. An actual apology on RJ. But I think most of us knew you were being sarcastic, an admirable trait in a gay man.


    He happens to be a very sweet Guy.

    And anyone with half a brain that does not live in solitary confinement in a small cage in the basement and has seen daylight since 1997 knows that He was being sarcastic...
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3762

    Feb 27, 2015 1:29 AM GMT
    Cash said
    HikerSkier said
    ThatSwimmerGuy said
    pazzy said
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    pazzy said
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidOverweight people deserve to be yelled at, and made fun of. They are a burden to the health care system. They cost society a lot of money.

    same could be said about promiscuous gay men though who burden the health care system with the rise of new hiv and std cases through unprotected sex. so according to your logic, it's okay for us to slut shame and make fun of gay sex and rush to judgment About gay people period. Folks love to throw bricks without realizing they ate indirectly speaking about themselves because theyre paVing the way for an even uglier picture.

    Bitch please. I'll choke the shit out of someone who said that to me. Are you really fucking serious? If ever you knew....the health care system MAKES MONEY AND PROFITS off of HIV meds (It's actually smoking, obesity, heart disease, and accidents that end up in the system. Gay sex is not even in the top 10 killers). Apart from care, most of them are all too eager to GIVE and diagnose HIV/meds to people.
    Someone needs to give you a good, stern kick up the bum, and a guide to what drives pharmaceutical/healthcare systems (sick or unhealthy people) and statistics that show gay sex is NOT a cause for healthcare burdening...for saying that. Someone need to tap your ass good!


    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.
    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.
    Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings.

    Gawd, that's so sweet. An actual apology on RJ. But I think most of us knew you were being sarcastic, an admirable trait in a gay man.

    He happens to be a very sweet Guy.

    And anyone with half a brain that does not live in solitary confinement in a small cage in the basement and has seen daylight since 1997 knows that He was being sarcastic...
    Not like I workout almost everyday, swim at least 3x/week, and eat healthy for nothin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 2:08 AM GMT
    pazzy said
    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.

    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.


    You are so funny. Yet sad. I blame myself for speaking in your language...vile, since that's how you address everyone. And honestly, if I could suck dicks all day...that would be an easy day for me. But...there's more mind over matter when you run a setup. You can't even intelligently defend your ignorance with facts.

    Now, back to the topic at hand...the point I was making, was your comment about gays weighing the system to equate obesity (despite every week in the news a new obesity study comes out, and despite the constant campaigns, ads, and health studies to get people to lose weight)...is completely unfounded. Not to mention, AIDS isn't even the biggest sexual transmitted disease out there. If you wanna go that far, it's syphilis, cervic cancer (among women), HPV and hepatitis that are the most deadly.

    You need to stop being so defensive and objectionary. Yes, I did threaten to place you in a virtual chokehold...but that was not a personal attack. When you can use your brain instead of your hands, then maybe you won't look like a niggard. That said, I've been taught to respect my elders, so I'm out.

    Oh...and midget? Lol. That was funny, shorty. Don't you know I could snap your neck by grabbing you with the palm of my hand by the circumference of your skull?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 2:34 AM GMT
    Matter of fact, let me break it down...show you the facts, enough talking and typing,

    top_5_causes_of_death.PNG
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3762

    Feb 27, 2015 2:44 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidMatter of fact, let me break it down...show you the facts, enough talking and typing,

    top_5_causes_of_death.PNG
    I often wonder how a ban on smoking would change these numbers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 4:00 AM GMT
    Cash said
    HikerSkier said
    ThatSwimmerGuy said
    pazzy said
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    pazzy said
    ThatSwimmerGuy saidOverweight people deserve to be yelled at, and made fun of. They are a burden to the health care system. They cost society a lot of money.


    same could be said about promiscuous gay men though who burden the health care system with the rise of new hiv and std cases through unprotected sex. so according to your logic, it's okay for us to slut shame and make fun of gay sex and rush to judgment About gay people period. Folks love to throw bricks without realizing they ate indirectly speaking about themselves because theyre paVing the way for an even uglier picture.


    Bitch please. I'll choke the shit out of someone who said that to me. Are you really fucking serious? If ever you knew....the health care system MAKES MONEY AND PROFITS off of HIV meds (It's actually smoking, obesity, heart disease, and accidents that end up in the system. Gay sex is not even in the top 10 killers). Apart from care, most of them are all too eager to GIVE and diagnose HIV/meds to people.

    Someone needs to give you a good, stern kick up the bum, and a guide to what drives pharmaceutical/healthcare systems (sick or unhealthy people) and statistics that show gay sex is NOT a cause for healthcare burdening...for saying that. Someone need to tap your ass good!


    shut The fuck up you dusthead ass midget.

    Bitch, do I look like one of your clients or anybody that would be crazy enough to be caught dead talking to you at any point for any fucking thing?

    Please go back to sucking dick for Pocket change or whatever living expenses that you have to hitchhike across America for. you're only good for having dicks in your mouth. always talking a whole lot about nothing thinking your opinion matters when you need to be locked in a padded room inside a psychiatric facility with straitjacket and drugged the fuck up thorazine.

    It's uncivilized minded fucks like you that is the problem acting like you're some princess when you're just a trinket ass ho with no self respect. Got the nerve to talk this 40 acres and a mule, pro black shit and here you are slaving it up for a dollar where you're selling your ass to get it. Get yourself a real job, breh.
    Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings.

    Gawd, that's so sweet. An actual apology on RJ. But I think most of us knew you were being sarcastic, an admirable trait in a gay man.


    He happens to be a very sweet Guy.

    And anyone with half a brain that does not live in solitary confinement in a small cage in the basement and has seen daylight since 1997 knows that He was being sarcastic...

    I thought you liked Pazzy . . .
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1858

    Feb 27, 2015 5:43 AM GMT
    As someone who has had some overweight friends, I try to be humble and not talk about their weight. I mean, like another person said, it's really none of my business. The only time I'd be blunt is if I had an overweight friend who constantly complained about being fat and wanted to change but never followed through. I'd even help them start up a simple workout routine and simple meal plans, the rest would be up to them. But other than that, I don't talk about weight and luckily, my bigger friends seemed comfortable in themselves.

    However, I have to be honest like NeutralShock said. I'm personally not attracted to overweight or obese men at all. I still remember when I first came out 18 and had my first "hookup" I met a guy online who in pictures, looked of average weight but when we met, he was 2-3x bigger than his pictures. However, it was my first experience and I wanted to see if I could look past the weight. I could not. I just found it distasteful. We didn't really do much and I tried to be cordial but after that experience, it showed me I just am not attracted to overweight at all.

    This only magnified when I started working out routinely in 2013. I'm not built like a gymnast but I feel a lot healthier and my body has defined some so this new found admiration in fitness is a part of my life now and I plan on sticking with it for a long time. And for my partner, I'd like it if he did some form of exercise too.

    Again like NeutralShock said, I am also a fan of men who enter the bulking stage of their bodybuilding. Just sexy in my eyes, I'd have to say I prefer it over the hard, rippling abs, chiseled look haha.

    But yeah, for friends, overweight isn't a problem at all as long as we got along and liked each others company. But for dating or intimacy, I'm afraid not...

    2bnaked said
    So I say: loose the weight, get into shape, be the real you that you always wanted to be and be that kind of a partner you would want to be with!!

    Sadly, my own Dad tried many times to keep fit.....but not hard enough!! Now....he's almost gone due to diabetes related illness and blood sugar issues!!



    First, I'm sorry about your father. I hope that he still stays with you for at least few more years if the diabetes is that bad...

    But on the second part, yeah, I agree that you should get in shape if you want to, even just some exercise a day is better than none but I don't know about physically becoming the partner you want.

    What I mean is that as a smaller built guy who is working out, I'm attracted to big bulky guys but I don't want to look like one myself, I'm heading for the lean swimmer look lol And hoping that there is a bulky guy looking for a lean swimmer haha. So yeah, just had to point that out.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 5:55 AM GMT
    BloodFlame saidAs someone who has had some overweight friends, I try to be humble and not talk about their weight. I mean, like another person said, it's really none of my business. The only time I'd be blunt is if I had an overweight friend who constantly complained about being fat and wanted to change but never followed through. I'd even help them start up a simple workout routine and simple meal plans, the rest would be up to them. But other than that, I don't talk about weight and luckily, my bigger friends seemed comfortable in themselves.

    However, I have to be honest like NeutralShock said. I'm personally not attracted to overweight or obese men at all. I still remember when I first came out 18 and had my first "hookup" I met a guy online who in pictures, looked of average weight but when we met, he was 2-3x bigger than his pictures. However, it was my first experience and I wanted to see if I could look past the weight. I could not. I just found it distasteful. We didn't really do much and I tried to be cordial but after that experience, it showed me I just am not attracted to overweight at all.

    This only magnified when I started working out routinely in 2013. I'm not built like a gymnast but I feel a lot healthier and my body has defined some so this new found admiration in fitness is a part of my life now and I plan on sticking with it for a long time. And for my partner, I'd like it if he did some form of exercise too.

    Again like NeutralShock said, I am also a fan of men who enter the bulking stage of their bodybuilding. Just sexy in my eyes, I'd have to say I prefer it over the hard, rippling abs, chiseled look haha.

    But yeah, for friends, overweight isn't a problem at all as long as we got along and liked each others company. But for dating or intimacy, I'm afraid not...

    2bnaked said
    So I say: loose the weight, get into shape, be the real you that you always wanted to be and be that kind of a partner you would want to be with!!

    Sadly, my own Dad tried many times to keep fit.....but not hard enough!! Now....he's almost gone due to diabetes related illness and blood sugar issues!!



    First, I'm sorry about your father. I hope that he still stays with you for at least few more years if the diabetes is that bad...

    But on the second part, yeah, I agree that you should get in shape if you want to, even just some exercise a day is better than none but I don't know about physically becoming the partner you want.

    What I mean is that as a smaller built guy who is working out, I'm attracted to big bulky guys but I don't want to look like one myself, I'm heading for the lean swimmer look lol And hoping that there is a bulky guy looking for a lean swimmer haha. So yeah, just had to point that out.



    Good clean living and a active life style and keeping your mind and body strong is a great goal for anyone!! Gay, straight or Bi.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 7:35 AM GMT
    pazzy said


    let's be real here.

    this whole "fat shaming" and oversuperficial body culture bs is a fairly recent phenomenon that had started in the 80s and has gotten worse.


    If you were stupid and arrogant enough to make that statement you deserve to have your butt kicked for it.

    You're 28 and at most have been in "gay life" no more than 10 years of which I'm sure most of your time has been spent the typical way guys your age spend time.

    In contrast, I've been at the graves of more gay men than will ever sleep with you. They died from AIDS, murders (pre Matt Shepard era) suicides, accidents, cancer and causes due to weight problems just to name the most notable ones. I have children nearly old enough to be your parents, shoes that were made in the USA before you were born and still look new.

    You cannot find one serious and credible medical or science link to support your idiotic assertion that "fat shaming is a fairly recent phenomenon that had started in the 80s and has gotten worse." you may be able to go through archives on a site like http://www.damn-at-the-crazy-shitty-drama-queers-come-with.org and find some rants written on it but don't embarrass yourself by trying to make us read that.

    If you want to convince anyone this is a "fairly recent phenomenon then you need to get busy tearing up the poetry and stage plays written by men in ancient Greece and Rome. Many of them contain instances of what you'd call "gay fat-shaming."


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2015 10:32 AM GMT
    Let me be clear. I'm not going to keep quoting this shit because IPads suck at quoting, so don't go there.

    I never condoned fat shaming. I simply rebuffed Spazzys homophobic, self-anahilating view against free, consensual, gay sex. Straight people have been having bareback anal sex since the 60s. HIV/Aids is a much smaller health risk than obesity.

    I have much respect for overweight gay men. Bigger gay men tend to be the best lovers and bottoms. I even Enjoy a nice pleasantly plump man once in awhile. Their asses are amazing! Again, the most important thing I said was: The American lifestyle ENTICES people to get fat, yet CONDEMS them when they do. Think about it. Is it not true? Ignoramuses can talk prosititute this, whore this. But the CDC says nothing about prostitution or AIDS being a MAJOR burden to the health care system. So all that extra and is just jealously.

    Don't pop off unless you ready to jump off!
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    Feb 27, 2015 10:47 AM GMT
    theantijock said
    I put on weight usually when I'm in mourning. I never got obese but I once got close when mourning was combined with betrayals, freaked me out and I blew up to about 23% bf. I've kept a good bod for most of my life. It was so uncomfortable. There's no way that a person wouldn't know.

    I've a neighbor who had a pretty good figure but then shit hit the fan in her life. Teen kid with lymphoma, mom with brain cancer, dad Parkinson's and her husband born again preaching engineer, yikes. She blew up like a fucking balloon.

    One day she even apologized for her own weight. I said to her forget about it. Get through what life's thrown you and then you'll work on yourself. I never had to tell her that she's fat. That would be rude.

    I've another neighbor who is morbidly obese. He drives his garbage cans to the curb. I do stuff for him. I pick up and throw out the throw away papers tossed on his yard because he can't reach them. One day I had offered to rake off his roof (he's a wooded property) and he made a joke about how he can't get up there. So picking up on his being jovial I made the slightest of jokes, something like, yeah, I might have noticed. Didn't mean it as anything. I thought I was kidding with him on the level that he seemed to be kidding. He was absolutely offended and I apologized. He knows. People know.


    I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAT NEIGHBORS!

    Why? Because if they can afford to eat that much, they can afford to get a gym membership or walking shoes. People who are really struggling are starving and losing weight. When I'm stressed and things are tough, I stop eating. Eating is expensive and takes time. To placate their need to eat when stressed is WEAK. instead of eating, they can drink water. They can run. Plant a garden. Tan in the sun. Build a fire. Have an alcoholic beverage (a low calorie one under 12% alcohol). They can even read a book about how to manage stress and grief.

    So no, I'm not gonna change my views. Jesus wasn't fat, so you can't lead me to believe the human body is made to be fat. No. It's our diet and lifestyle. Technology has helped us and hurt us in so many ways. Obesity is one the downsides.
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    Feb 27, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said
    theantijock said...I've a neighbor who had a pretty good figure but then shit hit the fan in her life. Teen kid with lymphoma, mom with brain cancer, dad Parkinson's and her husband born again preaching engineer, yikes. She blew up like a fucking balloon.

    One day she even apologized for her own weight. I said to her forget about it. Get through what life's thrown you and then you'll work on yourself. I never had to tell her that she's fat. That would be rude...


    I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FAT NEIGHBORS!

    ...Jesus wasn't fat, so you can't lead me to believe the human body is made to be fat...


    yikes
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    Feb 27, 2015 3:47 PM GMT
    I've dated several jocks through the years, and I was really surprised how insecure they were about their own bodies. These were incredibly in shape men, but they could only see flab (that didn't really exist) when they looked in the mirror. I can smell a whiff of this kind of body insecurity in this discussion. It's really unattractive. I am happy whenever someone can rock their body and be comfortable and confident in their own skin. Some jocks pull that off, and so do a number of "fat" guys.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 27, 2015 4:22 PM GMT
    I just saw this and thought it fit with this topic... to add that it is possible for them to change, it is all a matter of how badly they want to:

    http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/obese-to-beast-john-glaude-170-pound-weight-loss-journey.html?mcid=EM_022715_icymi_feb&rmid=EM_022715_icymi_feb&rrid=6910377&CIMID=1493158&utm_source=&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=
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    Feb 27, 2015 4:28 PM GMT
    _ragazzo_ saidI've dated several jocks through the years, and I was really surprised how insecure they were about their own bodies. These were incredibly in shape men, but they could only see flab (that didn't really exist) when they looked in the mirror. I can smell a whiff of this kind of body insecurity in this discussion. It's really unattractive. I am happy whenever someone can rock their body and be comfortable and confident in their own skin. Some jocks pull that off, and so do a number of "fat" guys.


    icon_lol.gif
    only a whiff???
    want to make a fit guy cry?
    Tell him his abs are not symmetric.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3762

    Feb 27, 2015 5:00 PM GMT
    Bpfz2a7.jpg
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 27, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    pazzy said all this stupid vanity, superficiality is really fucking you guys up.


    tl;dr: You can not and should never try and make anyone feel obligated to date anyone else. It never works.

    It isn't really about vanity and superficiality.

    It's more about health concerns and lifestyle choices, if we decide that someone who doesn't take care of themselves isn't someone we want in our lives as a partner that is 100% our decision.

    For me I seriously cannot fathom going into a LTR with someone who doesn't take care of themselves, let us be quite serious here: If I am in it for the long haul I am in it for the long haul. Realistic? Maybe, maybe not. But either way their body will break down very rapidly as they age and they will become dependent 100% on me- that is one of the BIGGEST turn offs I can possibly have.

    So superficial? Yes it is also not what I find sexy and attractive.

    But all of this shaming is outrageous. No group of people should EVER feel OBLIGATED to find another group attractive. That's completely and utterly unreasonable and unfair.

    If I worked for 4 years to sculpt my body and diet carefully and train every damn day so I can be sexy why the HELL wouldn't I want to be with someone who also does the same? It's called if I put in the effort I expect my partner to. PARTNER. Notice that word: partner. That's what I am looking for.

    I mean we can even break it down into habits:
    1: I go to the gym and want to share that with someone, it is more fun in a group.

    2: Dieting carefully and watching my partner stuff a cake down their face would make me want to smack them.




    It isn't goddamned right or fair to expect anyone to DESIRE anyone else no matter if they are a white musclejock with black hair and striking green eyes or if they are a morbidly obese balding guy. No one should ever expect attraction from anyone else- if you get it then you're lucky.

    But to me I would not, could not ever be with someone who didn't care about themselves enough to even do basic fundamentals. This lack of self discipline and self worth is a huge turn off for me- I need a man not a child stuffing their face with no inhibition. I find drive and ambition sexy- the opposite repulses me.

    So don't make it purely about vanity- that is painting a very grey topic black/white. It isn't that simple and making that simple is unfair to everyone.


  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 27, 2015 5:11 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    NeuralShock said
    pazzy said all this stupid vanity, superficiality is really fucking you guys up.


    tl;dr: You can not and should never try and make anyone feel obligated to date anyone else. It never works.

    It isn't really about vanity and superficiality.

    It's more about health concerns and lifestyle choices, if we decide that someone who doesn't take care of themselves isn't someone we want in our lives as a partner that is 100% our decision.

    For me I seriously cannot fathom going into a LTR with someone who doesn't take care of themselves, let us be quite serious here: If I am in it for the long haul I am in it for the long haul. Realistic? Maybe, maybe not. But either way their body will break down very rapidly as they age and they will become dependent 100% on me- that is one of the BIGGEST turn offs I can possibly have.

    So superficial? Yes it is also not what I find sexy and attractive.

    But all of this shaming is outrageous. No group of people should EVER feel OBLIGATED to find another group attractive. That's completely and utterly unreasonable and unfair.

    If I worked for 4 years to sculpt my body and diet carefully and train every damn day so I can be sexy why the HELL wouldn't I want to be with someone who also does the same? It's called if I put in the effort I expect my partner to.

    I mean we can even break it down into habits:
    1: I go to the gym and want to share that with someone, it is more fun in a group.

    2: Dieting carefully and watching my partner stuff a cake down their face would make me want to smack them.




    It isn't goddamned right or fair to expect anyone to DESIRE anyone else no matter if they are a white musclejock with black hair and striking green eyes or if they are a morbidly obese balding guy. No one should ever expect attraction from anyone else- if you get it then you're lucky.

    But to me I would not, could not ever be with someone who didn't care about themselves enough to even do basic fundamentals. This lack of self discipline and self worth is a huge turn off for me- I need a man not a child stuffing their face with no inhibition. I find drive and ambition sexy- the opposite repulses me.

    So don't make it purely about vanity- that is painting a very grey topic black/white. It isn't that simple and making that simple is unfair to everyone.




    Who said that this is about dating, breh. It's about Respecting others. Folks are the first to be disrespectful towards other people because they feeling like they're better than whoever for some reason but turn around demanding others to respect them especially the same folks they disrespect.

    It's funny because as I said, folks are acting like they're perfection and they have 101 flaws or could get ridiculed all day long yet they still talking shit.


    Oh in terms of respect I don't lack any of that, I was raised in a forest by Wolves- not in a barn. I respect them as human beings and their decision.

    But that doesn't mean I agree with their decision. It's sort of like the quote of "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say it".

    To me everyone gets respect, everyone has something to offer. I disagree completely and outright on their lifestyle decisions (and lack of- inaction is also a decision) but I respect them as human beings.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3762

    Feb 27, 2015 5:12 PM GMT
    fat.jpg
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Feb 27, 2015 5:32 PM GMT
    pazzy said
    NeuralShock said
    pazzy said
    NeuralShock said
    pazzy said all this stupid vanity, superficiality is really fucking you guys up.


    tl;dr: You can not and should never try and make anyone feel obligated to date anyone else. It never works.

    It isn't really about vanity and superficiality.

    It's more about health concerns and lifestyle choices, if we decide that someone who doesn't take care of themselves isn't someone we want in our lives as a partner that is 100% our decision.

    For me I seriously cannot fathom going into a LTR with someone who doesn't take care of themselves, let us be quite serious here: If I am in it for the long haul I am in it for the long haul. Realistic? Maybe, maybe not. But either way their body will break down very rapidly as they age and they will become dependent 100% on me- that is one of the BIGGEST turn offs I can possibly have.

    So superficial? Yes it is also not what I find sexy and attractive.

    But all of this shaming is outrageous. No group of people should EVER feel OBLIGATED to find another group attractive. That's completely and utterly unreasonable and unfair.

    If I worked for 4 years to sculpt my body and diet carefully and train every damn day so I can be sexy why the HELL wouldn't I want to be with someone who also does the same? It's called if I put in the effort I expect my partner to.

    I mean we can even break it down into habits:
    1: I go to the gym and want to share that with someone, it is more fun in a group.

    2: Dieting carefully and watching my partner stuff a cake down their face would make me want to smack them.




    It isn't goddamned right or fair to expect anyone to DESIRE anyone else no matter if they are a white musclejock with black hair and striking green eyes or if they are a morbidly obese balding guy. No one should ever expect attraction from anyone else- if you get it then you're lucky.

    But to me I would not, could not ever be with someone who didn't care about themselves enough to even do basic fundamentals. This lack of self discipline and self worth is a huge turn off for me- I need a man not a child stuffing their face with no inhibition. I find drive and ambition sexy- the opposite repulses me.

    So don't make it purely about vanity- that is painting a very grey topic black/white. It isn't that simple and making that simple is unfair to everyone.




    Who said that this is about dating, breh. It's about Respecting others. Folks are the first to be disrespectful towards other people because they feeling like they're better than whoever for some reason but turn around demanding others to respect them especially the same folks they disrespect.

    It's funny because as I said, folks are acting like they're perfection and they have 101 flaws or could get ridiculed all day long yet they still talking shit.


    Oh in terms of respect I don't lack any of that, I was raised in a forest by Wolves- not in a barn. I respect them as human beings and their decision.

    But that doesn't mean I agree with their decision. It's sort of like the quote of "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend your right to say it".

    To me everyone gets respect, everyone has something to offer. I disagree completely and outright on their lifestyle decisions (and lack of- inaction is also a decision) but I respect them as human beings.


    Well showing respect to someone is also being empathizing with them. As I said before, one major factor in determining whether someone becomes obese or overweight or skinny is their genetics. to say that someone chooses to be fat is like saying someone chooses to be skinny. there's folks that get overweight without eating much and there's folks that are skinny that eat a shitload. You know.... all this culture of telling people that their genetics or they are born wrong and at the same time, telling them what to be and brainwashing them to think a certain way. It's all self destructive.

    Not saying that someone shouldn't strive to be healthy or attempt to but some things people aren't in control of and genetics is one of them.


    Now here is the thing, if someone is at least trying then I have the utmost respect for them and I classify them in my own brain (perhaps wrongly?) as "bulking" in that case.

    And in which case I honestly cheer for them because they're taking control of their life and their situation- I could personally whine for YEARS nonstop on how life was cruel to me about my acne but I got a grip, got a life and got over it. I'm dealing with it and fixing it.

    But when someone doesn't even try and change their fate then I honestly don't feel much if any empathy.

    It's like the person is just blaming "genetics" when making zero effort- it is not a compelling argument when someone just accepts their fate and lays down and dies. That's also another massive character flaw that I despise- FIGHT, people should always fight to become better and strive to be the best they can be.

    Like idgaf if you have shit genetics, you can still put in an effort. I mean cause I have acne should I just slit my wrists and die?

    Fuck no. I am getting lazer surgery done quite often and in about a year no one will ever know I ever had acne.

    Using genetics is a crutch and a pathetic excuse, one should never ever ever ever ever stop fighting to become better and who they want to be. Rolling over and dying and whining NEVER achieved anything in life.