Dating Someone in Law Enforcement

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    Feb 07, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    athlftlguy saidCurious as to whether anyone else out there has had similar experiences to share...

    (Once you get past all the obvious handcuff jokes)

    I found that my ex had the following attributes:
    - Tended to see the world in very 'black & white' terms, and was very opinionated about things
    - Often had anger issues or negative views towards certain aspects of the community or demographics
    - Tended to drink a lot (and to excess at times)...which inevitably impacted our relationship
    - Lacked patience...had anger management issues at times
    - Trended very heavily towards a conservative/Republican ideology (Another area of conflict in our relationship)


    You've described my former partner to a T, save for the fact he was sober. His impatience and impudence astounded me. The only reason I grudgingly allowed the conservatism to slide was that gay marriage is already legal here..

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    Feb 07, 2009 8:34 AM GMT
    Thank God for police costumes.
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    Feb 17, 2009 8:38 AM GMT
    Tapper said
    luvjunkie saidI dated a cop for almost two years and he would have anger issues but only if he had a bad experience, ie shooting someone, but he definitely drunk a lot, and was cocky and arrogant, was a smart ass, and when I broke up with him totally turned into a stalker, nailed my cat through the throat to my front door. But on the other hand, I've dated some really nice guys who were cops too. Only guys I've completely sworn off are bi-guys and military guys.


    If you intended to start a flame war, it worked. This whole post is one big fail. Think about it. Cops are okay because only one went psychopathic on you in one of the worst possible ways, yet you've completely sworn off bi and military guys? So, can I assume that you've completely sworn off bi guys and military guys because a group of them gang raped your mother and murdered your father? Jesus, your priorities are fucked.


    It's called humour, get some. Unlike other guys I don't think bi-guys are hot, and military guys are definitely hot but usually go away to serve or can't have anything other than discrete encounters cause of their job, but then I suppose that's right up your alley.
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    Feb 17, 2009 8:43 AM GMT
    Most cops I've encountered to tend to be rather kinky. Not that there's anything wrong with it but I'm more of a vanilla sex type guy, especially compared to some cops I've hooked up with.
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    Feb 17, 2009 9:11 AM GMT
    My partner works for the police. He is rather synical of other people and thinks everyone is guilty before getting to know the person first, guess it goes with the job and dealing with wankers all day. We have been together for ten years. Crime is going up, so he is doing more overtime which sucks :-(
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    Feb 17, 2009 10:55 AM GMT
    nottingham_fella saidMy partner works for the police. He is rather synical of other people and thinks everyone is guilty before getting to know the person first, guess it goes with the job and dealing with wankers all day. We have been together for ten years. Crime is going up, so he is doing more overtime which sucks :-(


    Two of my BF's have been police. One very much the same as the above, and the other very shy.

    But I loved em.
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    Mar 11, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    I had a State Trooper interested in me that I dated for about two weeks. He was a very attractive guy, but so badly mentally closeted that he couldn't get past himself. His parents knew (only child) and his co-workers for the most part knew and didn't care. He was just perpetually sad and withdrawn and eventually disappeared.

    I have had other police officers I interacted with, none of whom acted like the above. HOWEVER...

    I went on 5 "dates from the pits of hell" with a guy that was ex-US Navy who was a physically abusive control freak that demeaned me and tried to make me feel like an idiot. He even criticized me over how I read a menu for heaven's sake. He was always right, never wrong - I was never right, NO patience, and anger issues to the extreme. I took his cat away from him and gave it to his ex (who owned the cat and who I met) because he threw the cat across the apartment for doing nothing wrong. Politically this guy was too stupid to make an argument. After he crushed "Brian Jr" in my jeans at a restaurant for me spending $1.50 of my own money on an item shopping - that was it. He told me I'd learn "the Navy way". Well, I introduced "The Navy" to "The Woodshed" and kicked him so hard to the curb he couldn't sit for a week. He and his evil brother went on to tell everyone that I am a whore, HIV+ etc until my attorney took care of him.

    On the political front, I am a conservative and surprisingly don't do well dating others who say they are because many of them are sadly disrespectful and ill informed. As a conservative (I am NOT a Republican) I respect my liberal friends views, I listen to them and sometimes I learn a thing or two - but I always respect them as I do all people as just that - PEOPLE. My ex-boyfriend who went into the Peace Corps after college was a liberal activist and we loved each other and had a blast anyway.

    This is all about respect and sadly a lot of police officers think their badge is a license to be mean, abusive or intolerant of people being people. What happened to "To PROTECT & SERVE"?
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    Apr 07, 2009 11:39 PM GMT
    I would never date a cop. If there is a nasty breakup, and depending on his mental state, there is nothing stopping him from harrassing you FOREVER. Next thing you know there is a bag of coke in your back seat.
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    Apr 08, 2009 12:06 AM GMT
    My psychologist analyzes cops before they can enter into the force in my local town.

    He told me once of a quality he looks for in a potential cop: "Black and White" thinking.

    That is a quality needed to be a good officer.

    I don't mix well with black and white thinkers.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 19, 2009 9:49 PM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 saidMy psychologist analyzes cops before they can enter into the force in my local town.

    He told me once of a quality he looks for in a potential cop: "Black and White" thinking.

    That is a quality needed to be a good officer.

    I don't mix well with black and white thinkers.icon_rolleyes.gif

    Not all cops think that way.
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    Apr 19, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    My first serious relationship was a NJ State Trooper whom was also a competitive Bodybuilder. (3.5 years) Nothing compares to seeing that much beef in a bloody uniform. (except out of it of course. icon_redface.gif )
    He had a bit of an authoritative attitude that I found kind of fun. Always liked to be in charge during the day.
    Cheers,
    Keith
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    Apr 19, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    interesting topic as I'm half-way through police recruit training ... I can see how/why some officers would become the stereotype you guys have described, but I can't say everyone I've met meet those criteria ... it will be interesting to see if people I know feel that I change over the next few years ... fingers crossed I won't.
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    Apr 19, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    Did it once. It was fine. Outside of the bedroom, the biggest, baddest butch guy ever. Behind closed doors - the biggest nellie bottom ever. Was almost like he had split personality
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    Apr 20, 2009 2:19 AM GMT
    I've been seriously involved with a cop (out at work, bigger city in the South) for a couple years. That, plus the fact that he's from a multi-generational line of cops who appear to have their act together, helps him cope, I think. He comes home sometimes, doesn't want to do any talking, but hits the weights and heavy bag for an hour, takes a shower, and that helps him slip off the cop "thing."

    But it's a fragile thing sometimes, he admits, which makes me love him more for it. Balance is everything, which is an overworked cliche, but true.

    And we argue and debate about stuff great and small. I mean this with love, he can have one of the grayest minds I know.
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    Apr 20, 2009 4:07 AM GMT
    i wanna be a cop........ does that mean none of you guys will date me icon_lol.gif I'll behave myself, i promise