What a great and loaded question. But, I'm glad to see it pop up on this site. As a practicing Christian and "Bible Believer," I will say a couple of things I've come to realize along the way. Keep in mind that these are my thoughts and interpretations, and as such, are in no way a flat truth.
The bible talks a couple times about the "act" of sex with men. Each time it talks about sex with men, it refers to the act only, and does not talk at all about male to male romantic relationships. In fact. The word "homosexual" wasn't a term that existed during the ancient Roman period. Christ came to establish a countercultural way of living. During these times it was common for men to have sexual relations with boys, and then go off to get married later on. Not only that, but men would have sex with women, and women with women outside of marriage. God speaks out all, esteeming a more fulfilling way to live, one in which is countercultural.
The bible is full of culture. It was a book written by men. We write to our experience, and we write in terms of what we know. This doesn't undermine the authority of God. In fact it enhances it- that God can speak even through the least of men, shows the true miraculous nature of God. Keeping this in mind, we have to find the undercurrents of truth that are brought to light through the bible. The bible esteems monogomy. It esteems sex in the terms of a loving relationship. It esteems forgiveness, compassion, gentleness, self-control, and wisdom.
For so long Christianity has come to be known for what it's "against" and not for what it promotes and esteems. Christ says the ulimate command is to love the Lord with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. God is Love in its truist form. Every time such love is shared between two people, God is right there amidst it.
Being gay has come to be known for promiscuous sex, drug use, risky behavior, and a different set of morals. And why these things seem to exist in our community, they are not what define someone as gay.
To be in relationship with God means to esteem the things that He esteems, it means to walk intimately alongside Him, letting Him guide your life wherever it may go, and to be willing to follow Him wherever He may take us.
This is countercultural to a gay community that does not believe in monogomy or sex within a loving relationship. It is countercultural to todays society period. Sex is the most intimate thing two people can share. God esteeming monogomy is speaking to that intimacy. And, sharing such a vulnerable part of us needs trust with another person (no matter of sexual orientation).
If these are things that you want to uphold in your life, then following Christ and living by the bible can co-exist. If they are not, it will be very hard to reconcile the two together. We live in a community that thinks you can't be Christian and gay. And modern Christianity speaks the same thing. So I find myself Ostracized by two communities that are a part of who I am. This is why so many people feel the pressure to "choose."
It's hard to be a Christian and gay. Mainly because the two run in completely different arenas. Reconciling the two can be very hard, and truth be told, it's something that most people can never really do. I am still in the process of figuring it all out. And, I don't have all the answers. In fact, the older I get, the more questions I have, and the less answers I think I have. And yet, I've found a strange comfort in that. True religion, not "modern Christianity," was created to provide a space to question. And in our questions, we create a space for God to dwell. And that's where true living takes place.
God is a loving god, and He desires our love and communion above anything. This is what God esteems, and if that is our focus, everything else will fall into place.
Thanks for reading my thoughts...