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  • hidden_agenda

    Posts: 74

    Jan 30, 2017 3:46 AM GMT
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  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1352

    Jan 30, 2017 7:37 AM GMT
    slowprogress saidHad 4-6 relationships over the course of 5 years, with about a dozen hookups/flings in between; the former averaging 3-6 months.

    I tell myself that I'm getting old and really need to get into an LTR before I'm no longer attracted to my own age group, or forced to rely solely on emotional connection as a foundation lol. But I find that over time, even though I've gotten better at judging which personalities are unlikely to be a good fit, I continue to settle for guys who are obviously incompatible. Even though I'm very average looking, it has proved very easy to find hot bimbos way above my league to have fun with, but near impossible to find someone I actually like inside and out - hence this pattern has become evident to my friends, who scoff at idea that I'm into LTRs. I just haven't met any guys whose personalities I've fallen in love with (well there was one, but he too is a top, and I just can't see him being monogamous, so we're just close friends now lol). Argh, rant over.


    I had a similar track record. My average realationship has been 3-6 months for the same reason, I just felt like I couldn't find the right fit. Never brought anyone home to meet my family and had never told someone I was dating that I loved them. Finally found that with the guy I'm currently dating. I definitely had to make some sacrifices (He lives 8hrs away but we've never gone more than a week without seeing each other which takes a lot of time and money). This is also the first guy I've been vers with (we were both tops). My advice would be figure out where you can compromise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2017 10:01 AM GMT
    slowprogress saidHad 4-6 relationships over the course of 5 years, with about a dozen hookups/flings in between; the former averaging 3-6 months.

    I tell myself that I'm getting old and really need to get into an LTR before I'm no longer attracted to my own age group, or forced to rely solely on emotional connection as a foundation lol. But I find that over time, even though I've gotten better at judging which personalities are unlikely to be a good fit, I continue to settle for guys who are obviously incompatible. Even though I'm very average looking, it has proved very easy to find hot bimbos way above my league to have fun with, but near impossible to find someone I actually like inside and out - hence this pattern has become evident to my friends, who scoff at idea that I'm into LTRs. I just haven't met any guys whose personalities I've fallen in love with (well there was one, but he too is a top, and I just can't see him being monogamous, so we're just close friends now lol). Argh, rant over.


    Nope. With your 28 years behind you, you are still not getting oldicon_lol.gif.

    Getting yourself into a bit of a more serious LTR with your own peer group may be a bit challenging. Though, an LTR may sound attractive to many, the idea that you can still successfully play field through your 30's and even early 40's in a major metro area is still well and alive. Hence, the existing BF material is a bit quirkier than you may want it to be. LTRs involve lots of emotional and all other kinds of investments. On the face of it, many guys are all for it. When it comes to coping with the daily grind that such arrangements bring with them, the things tend to go south only too easily.

    Sadly, there is no universal recipe here. It is your usual game of trial and error. Most people I know will also tell you that it takes a lot of communication and it takes a lot of giving and taking in order to get it to really work. And even once you find your guy, and stay with him for years, you will be still working on your relationship. We all change, don't we? And so do our mutual relationships.

    SC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2017 7:52 AM GMT
    Well I think it's normal to have flings or short term relationships ranging from 3-6 months. I don't think it's a relationship though. For me, a serious relationship would range from at least 10-11 months above. Fortunately, I had about 2 serious relationships since I came out. I've been single for a while too. I, too, fell for guys who
    seem weird, divorced, closeted, non-passionate, non-holding hands types, too young, college boys. Lol, I think you just need to focus your energy on finding the right man. A lot of hot Guys just wanna have fun, they don't want a bf since it's too much work. But hey, just keep on kissing your frogs until you find the right prince.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2017 6:04 PM GMT
    Wow ...
    I might be just leaving in a monk monastery .. lol...
    I only had a 10 years gay relationship back when i was 20 , another 5 years gay relationship following this one , and then was married for 23 years to my ex-wife .
    For the last 3 years , i was single for a year then been in a gay relationship for the last 2 .
    I am not into the hookup business , done it a couple of times between relationship but always wake up the next day with a bitter taste in my mouth and feeling dirty ( no pun intended ) .
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4999

    Feb 01, 2017 8:24 PM GMT
    slowprogress saidHad 4-6 relationships over the course of 5 years, with about a dozen hookups/flings in between; the former averaging 3-6 months.

    I tell myself that I'm getting old and really need to get into an LTR before I'm no longer attracted to my own age group, or forced to rely solely on emotional connection as a foundation lol. But I find that over time, even though I've gotten better at judging which personalities are unlikely to be a good fit, I continue to settle for guys who are obviously incompatible. Even though I'm very average looking, it has proved very easy to find hot bimbos way above my league to have fun with, but near impossible to find someone I actually like inside and out - hence this pattern has become evident to my friends, who scoff at idea that I'm into LTRs. I just haven't met any guys whose personalities I've fallen in love with (well there was one, but he too is a top, and I just can't see him being monogamous, so we're just close friends now lol). Argh, rant over.



    Olde? At only 28? Really!