Good topic. I was 18 and in Minneapolis, which had/has the 4th highest gay population in the United States and never found anyone. Then I came back to Duluth and found someone right away (it didn't last but still...) and he was what I wanted. The kinds of guys in Minneapolis (or 'gayest cities' seem to be there because they could never survive the hostility in the cities they are from. I am just not attracted to those kinds of guys because I find them to be very effeminate, immature, and I guess when I think about what I am attracted to males, that's not the first image of 'male' that comes into my head. Basically, I learned two things about being in highly gay populated cities: one, you will find the most stereotypical guys over and over and over again; if that's not your thing, you won't be very happy (and those cities are tremendously expensive and snotty); two, I'm not sure about gay women but with gay men, the more of them you put in one city, the higher and more ridiculously unrealistic their expectations become (but they themselves don't have to live up to the expectations they have for other guys). I always find that part hilarious.
The other thing is that many of these guys will do whatever it takes to break you up if they find out you're happy, you have someone who doesn't act like a girl, and you seem to be having a good time together. Even though the relationship I found in my hometown didn't last, we didn't have any interference from these queens that would have definitely tried to ruin what we had. Because of that I feel that we had one great year together without anyone trying to sabotage it. Yes, you are kind of in an awkward place when you're the only gay couple that you know of for miles, but in a way I think that we are toxic for each other - it's like so many gay guys get pleasure in seeing each other fail - so in a way it's good to be off on your own and leave the 'community' do their thing in the gay cities. Don't let them try to ruin your happiness because if you allow them they will do it!