my bf beat me up..pls help

• jessesworld
  
  Posts: 6
  
  
  Mar 07, 2017 1:04 PM GMT

  so i've been with my bf a little over 2 years now. The other day we were driving home and we got into an argument because he picked me up from work an hour late. But what really pissed me off was he was so nonchalant when I was talking about it on the ride home. I have a horrible temper and he knows this but he kept ignoring me. So I said "keep ignoring me and I'm gonna slap the sh*t out of you. And what really set me off is he laughed at this! Anyways I got so mad I ended up smacking him while he was driving. Next thing I know he actually pulls over and hits me like 4 times. I start crying and run out the car. We've texted since then. Mostly him apologizing and saying he'll never hit me again. I know I hit him first but it really wasn't that hard. And he's so much bigger and stronger than me. I feel like he overreacted. This is the first time we've ever gotten physical. Idk what to do. I love him and i don't want to leave him but I won't stand for abuse.

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  Mar 07, 2017 1:29 PM GMT

  Well, you stand on shaky ground there. You did slap him first. While he was driving a car. I'm usually a pretty passive guy in private life, but when a guy hits me it throws a switch, I have everything to do to control myself. Oddly, even worse if it's to the face and knocks my eyeglasses, not sure why.
  
  I had a BF of nearly 2 years, moved in with him during the second. One day he demanded sex around noon in the kitchen. Well, I really wasn't in the mood, at least not in an instant, but he was raring to go. When I said no he got violent. Physically pinned me against the wall and left marks on my arms.
  
  I stood him down. I get suicidally brave when cornered, I suppose having little choice makes your choice, although he was much bigger and stronger than me. He backed off. I took a walk outside (trudging through heavy snow) and resolved to move out as soon as I could. And that's what I did.
  
  I will not tolerate domestic abuse. Neither inflicting it, nor being the victim. Nor should you. And you did hit him first, after all.

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• BhoyJock
  
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  Mar 07, 2017 4:06 PM GMT

  unhealthy dynamic there of abuse-more to the point physical, im not sure that a thing many couples can step back from and never repeat again, particularly during very heated arguments
  
  
  are you better apart?

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  Mar 07, 2017 5:46 PM GMT

  justice93 saidso i've been with my bf a little over 2 years now. The other day we were driving home and we got into an argument because he picked me up from work an hour late. But what really pissed me off was he was so nonchalant when I was talking about it on the ride home. I have a horrible temper and he knows this but he kept ignoring me. So I said "keep ignoring me and I'm gonna slap the sh*t out of you. And what really set me off is he laughed at this! Anyways I got so mad I ended up smacking him while he was driving. Next thing I know he actually pulls over and hits me like 4 times. I start crying and run out the car. We've texted since then. Mostly him apologizing and saying he'll never hit me again. I know I hit him first but it really wasn't that hard. And he's so much bigger and stronger than me. I feel like he overreacted. This is the first time we've ever gotten physical. Idk what to do. I love him and i don't want to leave him but I won't stand for abuse.

  
  
  Block Profile / Ignore Posts
  Because
  
  1) the profile is not verified, there is not one public photograph of member, and the profile is not filled out at all as of now
  2) member has a "horrible temper"
  3) member smacked a car driver
  4) no appreciation of financial risk
  5) no appreciation of health risk
  6) no appreciation of the risk of tragedy
  7) no appreciation of how fragile people can be in their lives and physically and what a car accident would do to a person's work productivity
  8 ) no appreciation that a boyfriend would not want to tell his family, coworkers, or friends, or police at the scene, I was in a wreck because my sodomite friend hit me while I was driving
  9) He pulled over, stopped the car, hit you four times and still you are clueless. Maybe he needed to drag you at the car if you didn't get out by command, walk home or call a taxi and that would have given you the opportunity to have more self-control than a misbehaved toddler. Do you really need to be constrained in a car seat?
  10) creating a potential frivolous insurance claim because the cause of the insurance claim surely would have been your frivolity

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  Mar 07, 2017 5:56 PM GMT

  You hit him first. He should run from you even faster than you run to get help for anger management issues. You've opened Pandora's box on this one, with a bad outcome for you AND the bf.

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• Antarktis
  
  Posts: 426
  
  
  Mar 07, 2017 7:45 PM GMT

  justice93 saidso i've been with my bf a little over 2 years now. The other day we were driving home and we got into an argument because he picked me up from work an hour late. But what really pissed me off was he was so nonchalant when I was talking about it on the ride home. I have a horrible temper and he knows this but he kept ignoring me. So I said "keep ignoring me and I'm gonna slap the sh*t out of you. And what really set me off is he laughed at this! Anyways I got so mad I ended up smacking him while he was driving. Next thing I know he actually pulls over and hits me like 4 times. I start crying and run out the car. We've texted since then. Mostly him apologizing and saying he'll never hit me again. I know I hit him first but it really wasn't that hard. And he's so much bigger and stronger than me. I feel like he overreacted. This is the first time we've ever gotten physical. Idk what to do. I love him and i don't want to leave him but I won't stand for abuse.

  
  
  Sounds like you asked for it, and might want to look into anger management. The fact is that you put youself at risk, him at risk, and anyone else on the road; then when your whining didn't gain the attention you wanted you upped the brat card.

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• kietkat
  
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  Mar 07, 2017 10:20 PM GMT

  Fuckin' children I swear to god...........................

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• buddycat
  
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  Mar 07, 2017 11:13 PM GMT

  You hit him first while driving nonetheless.

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• jessesworld
  
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  Mar 07, 2017 11:25 PM GMT

  Okay I know I hit him first and it was wrong of me but he took it too far. He knows his strength and he actually hurt me. That's what is making it so hard for me to forgive and move on.

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• jessesworld
  
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  Mar 07, 2017 11:26 PM GMT

  and I'm not a child. I'm 23 and my bf is 27.

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  Mar 07, 2017 11:42 PM GMT

  You hit first. You should expect to be hit back.
  
  Did you even ask him what happened to him earlier? Why he was late? Did something happen that held him up? Or were you too busy bitching and whining about how put out you were? He sounds like he was already withdrawn, you exascerbated the situation when you made it physical... While he was driving, no less.
  
  At least he was considerate to other drivers by pulling over before he defended himself against your prissy little bitch-fit.
  
  Find a way to manage your temper and anger. Your bf should not have to put up with that.

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  Mar 07, 2017 11:44 PM GMT

  justice93 said
  Okay I know I hit him first and it was wrong of me but he took it too far. He knows his strength and he actually hurt me. That's what is making it so hard for me to forgive and move on.

  
  Perhaps you should move on - out of his life. And he out of yours. These things are often difficult to repair, and to not repeat, once they've happened. Tempers like those may flare again, with worse consequences.
  
  I know you've gone on to say that you're not a child, and he is even older. Age alone is not the only determinate of the maturity and self-control necessary for 2 guys to live together. Especially younger guys, when combative male hormones are still very strong.
  
  You may both need a time-out from each other, and perhaps from living with other men at all. Something to revisit a few years down the road. What you describe with him does not sound like a formula for lasting success.

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• jessesworld
  
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  Mar 08, 2017 1:12 AM GMT

  He claims he blacked out and that's why he overreacted. I never intended on hitting him, but when he laughed it was like a reflex.

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• F0h4wk
  
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  Mar 08, 2017 3:41 AM GMT

  Hmmm... this doesn't smell good. I know a couple of people that have been through stories like this and the best way was to let it go. Oftenly i always say you have to put an end when it first starts. At the same time since you initiated the physical fight, i do understand how he must have felt since i'm one to have a short temper but those punches for my own personal opinion would be a red flag to run. It might be the best for the both of you and it's always better to end things when you can say goodbye without hating eachother.

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  Mar 08, 2017 5:54 AM GMT

  You really need to see psychologist if you have anger issue. Problem solve.

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  Mar 08, 2017 6:17 PM GMT

  You definitely do not belong together , in my book you do not hit someone you love !!

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  Mar 08, 2017 7:00 PM GMT

  neffa said
  You definitely do not belong together, in my book you do not hit someone you love !!

  
  CORRECT! A little one of my stories:
  
  My husband, with his fierce Italian-Sicilian temper, was really mad at me one day for some reason. I don't remember what.
  
  But he was slamming doors, and making a big fuss. Yelling at full volume. He went into the office and slammed that door.
  
  I came out of our bedroom to try to resolve this. He burst out of the office unexpectedly just as I was standing there. He unintentionally knocked me off balance, and I stumbled back through our bedroom door and fell down, wasn't hurt at all.
  
  He was just apoplectic. Crying and trying to pick me up. Explaining he didn't mean to do that, he'd never hit me in any way.
  
  Well, I knew that, just an accident, nothing more. I kept reassuring him I was OK, he hadn't hurt me, I wasn't angry. I mean, I hope I'm a big boy. Accidents happen.
  
  Strangely, it ended the argument, whatever it was about. And we hugged & kissed. Maybe I should be knocked on my ass more often! LOL!

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• Buddha
  
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  Mar 09, 2017 8:10 AM GMT

  Both were wrong, it sounds like you have a pretty toxic relationship.

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  Mar 09, 2017 11:34 AM GMT

  So you don't have your own car and you can't drive??
  I see the frustration of waiting for an hour but you should never lose your temper and hit
  your bf who was driving the car. You should at least wait until get home first. He could crash the car
  and get into an accident. However, you hit him and he lost his temper and hit you back.
  I feel that both of you are in the wrong, maybe you both should break up and take a break
  from each other and re-evaluate things. It sounds to me like both of you are immature and not ready
  for a loving understanding relationship.

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• LEANDRO_NJ
  
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  Mar 10, 2017 4:18 AM GMT

  I don't mind people ignoring me, but calling out their attention by getting physical or saying something hurtful!? especially when one is driving, it should never done or tolerated by anyone, period.

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• Apparition
  
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  Mar 10, 2017 5:50 AM GMT

  please stay together. right now there are two assholes having to deal with a relationship problem, and if you break up you will both infect two other innocent guys with your problem and then there will be 4 unhappy people in the world. If you had hit me while driving you would have exited the car and your stuff would be on the street when you walked home.

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  Mar 12, 2017 4:46 AM GMT

  You hit him first...Grab your nuts to prove to yourself you're still a man and accept that you started it.

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• jessesworld
  
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  Mar 16, 2017 2:03 AM GMT

  a lot of these responses were rude as hell but some were helpful, anyways we worked it out. I know he still feels bad cus he's going out of his way to be extra sweet and gentle lol. but hey I'll take it

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• Apparition
  
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  Apr 01, 2017 4:51 AM GMT

  LilBrock said

  YVRguy saidYou hit him first. He should run from you even faster than you run to get help for anger management issues. You've opened Pandora's box on this one, with a bad outcome for you AND the bf.

  
  
  
  I bet if he was a girl none of you would be "saying you hit him first" You guys would automatically side with a woman.

  
  
  i stand by my quote
  

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  Apr 01, 2017 5:07 AM GMT

  LEANDRO_NJ said
  I don't mind people ignoring me, but calling out their attention by getting physical or saying something hurtful!? especially when one is driving, it should never done or tolerated by anyone, period.

  
  Yeah, while the driving the car sorta crossed a line. I mean, aren't you riding in it also? You wanna both be killed in a crash?
  
  As someone else said, I woulda dumped his ass on the curb and drove off. I wouln't have beaten him, I dislike violence unless it's to protect myself or someone else from serious harm. But the OP was sure begging for it.

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