Feb 21, 2009 4:59 AM GMT
Hello everyone,
I think there's a prejudice that attractive people are pickier* than the ones who are less attractive, but I think it's quite the opposite: the less attractive you are, the more exclusive you become. Let me explain it and see if you agree.
First of all, a preference is not picky on its own, it depends on the group on which the choice is made, for example: John lives in a country full of brunette men. Conveniently, he prefers them. John's preference is not picky there. John then moves to a country where most men are blond. John still prefers brunettes. John is now picky.
A preference that was once inclusive became exclusive just by moving to a different location. Besides location, the person who's picking can also make a preference more or less picky.
For example: Paul is very attractive, while Carl is not so attractive. Initially they have the same basic requirement: "I'm looking for a gay man". With this same preference, they both end up with the same group. Now the move on to the second basic requirement: "He must find me attractive". Now Paul ends up with a larger group. Carl has a small group to chose on.
Coming from the less attractive one, this requirement of consensuality is way more exclusive. He is the picky one here, not because he made an exorbitant, fussy requirement, but because this requirement came from him. The attractive one, even after a million other requirements, may still end up with a larger group. One who spends 90 bucks of his 100 dollar account if more prodigal than one who spends 100K dollars of his multi-billion dollar fortune.
So, when I judge my pickiness, I don't consider just my preferences, but who am I to make them. I just wish I weren't so picky...
*In the sense of being more exclusive, not necessarily fussy
I think there's a prejudice that attractive people are pickier* than the ones who are less attractive, but I think it's quite the opposite: the less attractive you are, the more exclusive you become. Let me explain it and see if you agree.
First of all, a preference is not picky on its own, it depends on the group on which the choice is made, for example: John lives in a country full of brunette men. Conveniently, he prefers them. John's preference is not picky there. John then moves to a country where most men are blond. John still prefers brunettes. John is now picky.
A preference that was once inclusive became exclusive just by moving to a different location. Besides location, the person who's picking can also make a preference more or less picky.
For example: Paul is very attractive, while Carl is not so attractive. Initially they have the same basic requirement: "I'm looking for a gay man". With this same preference, they both end up with the same group. Now the move on to the second basic requirement: "He must find me attractive". Now Paul ends up with a larger group. Carl has a small group to chose on.
Coming from the less attractive one, this requirement of consensuality is way more exclusive. He is the picky one here, not because he made an exorbitant, fussy requirement, but because this requirement came from him. The attractive one, even after a million other requirements, may still end up with a larger group. One who spends 90 bucks of his 100 dollar account if more prodigal than one who spends 100K dollars of his multi-billion dollar fortune.
So, when I judge my pickiness, I don't consider just my preferences, but who am I to make them. I just wish I weren't so picky...
*In the sense of being more exclusive, not necessarily fussy