I’m confused!

  • Migue82

    Posts: 2

    Jan 23, 2019 3:47 AM GMT
    Ok, so me and my ex where together for a year and a half. He came on to me, he pursued the relationship, I had no interest. At my 35 years I had accepted I was gonna die alone and bitter and I was so happy with that.... Then this hot lil Latino came into my life young and sexy with dark hair and Blue eyes he was a stud! For once I was the envy of all the guys at the club he made me happy made me feel special it was amazing!

    Then after 2 weeks of dating he tells me he loves me which should have raised some flags but he had swept me off my feet! So within 3 weeks he’s basically living with me because he swore that the relationship at his parents was too toxic. Which was fine cause I wanted him there... Then of course my prince turns into a monster... mood swings up and down, always jealous swearing I’m a cheater etc, etc,. But I thought he loved me so we lasted a year and a half and we had our lows, but we had plenty of good times too he was a caring guy always made time for me he was just a tad manic... so one day he catches me watching porn and swears I’m cheating on him! Which to this day I do not get but hey!? I tried to get back with him I apologized and swore I would change but he wouldn’t hear me out and just cut me off... He had started messing with Coke by then so that had something to do with his ups and downs...So within 1 week he moves out, and within a week after that I start hearing rumors that he’s already seeing someone. I didn’t know for sure who but this guy I had known for years stopped talking to me. Older and fatter than me he wasn’t all that but soon I found out it was him. It got to me cause I had known the guy very well and before we broke up he started coming up to me and asking a bunch of questions about my BF offering to give him deals and help him with stuff. At the time I thought nothing of it but now of course I’m like wtf!?

    So they have been together for almost a year now and it’s hard still mainly because when my BF was with me he was going through financial hard ship so I got him a Job working at the bar I work at. So now he still works there and the new guy is at the bar every weekend! Which is fine especially since he usually stayed on the other side of the bar and I stayed working my bar so I could ignore him! Recently however me and the ex had been getting along pretty good we would joke and act like nothing had happened. But since he has got with this new guy (who is 40) all they do is Party, hard! To the point that he wasted all the money he had saved living with me, he got a DUI and totaled his car, and now he spends all the money he makes paying DUI classes and work project. Which is his business but it got to be too much and he started asking me to borrow money. My first instinct was to say no! But then I thought!? This old dipshit he is with is 40! Without a penny to his name! At least I can show that I have it and he don’t! So I lent him some money and we were cool and we minded our own business. Then he kept asking me to borrow more money and I did a couple times, but then it started getting annoying. Then he started offering sexual favors. Which I did because I wanted to know that he didn’t really care about this guy. Because when we were together he never cheated, to my knowledge at least. But if he is willing to do that he must not be too serious about this guy!? Right!? But then he started bugging me and when I would ask him for something he couldn’t do shit for me. Like he thought cause he gave me some dick he didn’t have to pay anything back or owe me anything cause his dick was so good!! But I thought I was lending him money as friends. I expected to be paid back and also if I need a favor you should be there for me! Am I crazy!? Anyways he pissed me off when I asked him for something simple and he played Stupid like he couldn’t be bothered! And by this time he’s not the sexy young stud he once was! He’s gained 30 lbs and become obnoxious with his fugly BF following him all over the place! So I got irritated and kinda gave him the cold shoulder.

    So to get back at me on my main night working at the bar we both work at he leans over the bar and kisses him right in front of me! Even though they had been together a year they hadn’t done that especially in front of me! I felt like someone knocked the wind out of me! I’m in the middle of working I was livid! So of course when it’s time to tip him out I cut his tip in half, didn’t give him shit! I know he was hurting! So the next day he text me a couple times and I ignored him. Then the day after I go into work and they are both in the bar drinking on their day off. Fine! I mind my business get to work that is that... about an hour in they start making out right in front of my fucking bar! Like what the hell!?! In the entire year they have never done that, so Its either he’s doing it as payback cause I have been cold to him, or all of a sudden they want to express their love!?! I just don’t get it!? Why in front of my bar!!!??

    What should I do!? Keep playing like I don’t care or do what I really want to do and flip the fuck out! I wanna say fuck You! Don’t disrespect me like that!! Especially when you’re pants have been around your ankles over at my place in the last month!? Or I could talk to him one on one and try to ask him why he’s doing this!? But I don’t want him to know he has so much control over my feelings!


  • TombRaider

    Posts: 206

    Jan 24, 2019 1:55 AM GMT
    Just ignore it and move on. I would remind him of what he owes you.


    Also space out your paragraphs, makes it easier to read.
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    Jan 24, 2019 3:48 AM GMT
    What you need to do is smack yourself in the head HARD for being so stupid for putting up with his behaviour (and for lending him money and treating him like a streetwalker). You, through sheer dumb luck apparently, dodged a bullet. Count your blessings that the guy is (almost ) out of your life and be grateful for it.

    To be honest, your ex sounds like he has some mental health issues to deal with. Go find someone else while he gets himself sorted out.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2019 3:52 AM GMT
    I've dated a pure Mexican boy before, and I have to question their behavior when it comes to love. He was so handsome, cute laugh, infectious smile, a little taller than me, smooth dark caramel skin, but he seemed a little too sensitive than I used to. When other guys check me out and I'd play nice about it, he'd become jealous and a little hostile, as if he owned me. I suggest if he has/had any feelings true to you, sit him down and talk to him alone, try and clear the air of the unnecessary drama he's been causing.

    Before I moved 2 months ago, I felt it better to let go of stressful baggage like that, so anyone I wouldn't see anymore, I'd chat with them one last time before I take my leave for a better life elsewhere. Can't say where I am is better than before, but a little time helps. . . or so I've heard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 24, 2019 9:53 AM GMT
    just keep ignoring him. Show him he has no power. He will start to feel dumb after his many attempts to get a reaction out of you fails. He's a mess and unless you're just THAT patient of a guy, I would move on and forget about him. Those drugs messed something up.
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    Jan 24, 2019 12:50 PM GMT
    Wesoshould said
    just keep ignoring him. Show him he has no power. He will start to feel dumb after his many attempts to get a reaction out of you fails. He's a mess and unless you're just THAT patient of a guy, I would move on and forget about him. Those drugs messed something up.

    Agreed. These guys almost never improve. It's throwing good money after bad, best intentions after failed.

    Believe me, I've had a couple of these guys, no regrets I left them. You think your good deeds & example will change them, but they stay the same. Even get worse as they begin to use you more & more.

    Also agree with another reply above - use paragraph breaks. A wall of online text is very difficult to read.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2019 5:20 PM GMT
    Kick him out of your life , he only is sorrows for you !
  • Migue82

    Posts: 2

    Feb 06, 2019 8:57 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for all your advice...