Mar 14, 2019 10:03 AM GMT
So I am just going to put my thoughts out here on this but I have been single for years now and by choice. I get hit on all the time and people call or text my work phone asking for wine dates or to get food etc (my business cards, I am a Massage Therapist). The issue is I am not really attracted to them. The ones that have the courage to speak to me or ask are not people I am attracted to, but I am also not afraid to talk to them so this could be why.
I am also not in a hurry to get into a relationship either, I do not want to end up in one because I feel like I need to be, nor do I want to be in one that I feel obligated to be in one either (usually because we hang around each other and the other person thinks we are in a relationship, despite me telling them to the contrary, yes it happens).
If I am to be in a relationship I want someone with the same drive as me, and some of the same interests as me. I want someone who has the drive to care for themselves. I want to be with someone who I do not have to financially carry. I do not mind helping each other, but I want someone with a job or a drive to get a job. I do not care if they have a big house or anything, just that they are trying to do something with their lives and take responsibility for themselves. Being physically active is important to me and we do not have to do it together, but I feel we should both have an interest in it. I want someone who has a plan for the future.
Many of the ones who talk to me are physically out of shape and have no drive to care for themselves. Very few have a plan, and generally, I am not attracted to them or have little in common with any of them at all. Most pretend to be into the things that I am into but are not, it is sweet but also not genuine.
For my dating history, I generally have not dated anyone that I was attracted to, I find it hard to talk to them. Most I have dated have been out of shape people with no interest in workouts and I find this can kill my drive. I would rather be alone than end up in yet another regrettable relationship where I am babysitting for them or what have you. So I simply keep myself busy with workouts, work, and more work so that I have little time.
In the process, however, I am getting older. And the people that have once hit on me are now in relationships themselves (I am happy for them) and I am starting to feel as if life is passing me by at times. I feel that my ship is sailing and I might miss the last boat. The problem also is that once someone gets close enough to me, I push them away because honestly I do not know how to date, what to say, and I have grown safe and comfortable in my aloneness.
I am afraid to date because I do not want to waste any more of my time, money, effort, or life on people that take me for granted. Since I work all the time, I have nothing to talk to others about to even have a conversation. This is a battle between loneliness and freedom. Sometimes I feel shallow because I want someone that is into being more fit like me (and there is no shortage of people that tell me I am when I make it clear I do not want to date). I am also not sure I want to slow down yet, I work a lot and have plans for my life.
I am also not in a hurry to get into a relationship either, I do not want to end up in one because I feel like I need to be, nor do I want to be in one that I feel obligated to be in one either (usually because we hang around each other and the other person thinks we are in a relationship, despite me telling them to the contrary, yes it happens).
If I am to be in a relationship I want someone with the same drive as me, and some of the same interests as me. I want someone who has the drive to care for themselves. I want to be with someone who I do not have to financially carry. I do not mind helping each other, but I want someone with a job or a drive to get a job. I do not care if they have a big house or anything, just that they are trying to do something with their lives and take responsibility for themselves. Being physically active is important to me and we do not have to do it together, but I feel we should both have an interest in it. I want someone who has a plan for the future.
Many of the ones who talk to me are physically out of shape and have no drive to care for themselves. Very few have a plan, and generally, I am not attracted to them or have little in common with any of them at all. Most pretend to be into the things that I am into but are not, it is sweet but also not genuine.
For my dating history, I generally have not dated anyone that I was attracted to, I find it hard to talk to them. Most I have dated have been out of shape people with no interest in workouts and I find this can kill my drive. I would rather be alone than end up in yet another regrettable relationship where I am babysitting for them or what have you. So I simply keep myself busy with workouts, work, and more work so that I have little time.
In the process, however, I am getting older. And the people that have once hit on me are now in relationships themselves (I am happy for them) and I am starting to feel as if life is passing me by at times. I feel that my ship is sailing and I might miss the last boat. The problem also is that once someone gets close enough to me, I push them away because honestly I do not know how to date, what to say, and I have grown safe and comfortable in my aloneness.
I am afraid to date because I do not want to waste any more of my time, money, effort, or life on people that take me for granted. Since I work all the time, I have nothing to talk to others about to even have a conversation. This is a battle between loneliness and freedom. Sometimes I feel shallow because I want someone that is into being more fit like me (and there is no shortage of people that tell me I am when I make it clear I do not want to date). I am also not sure I want to slow down yet, I work a lot and have plans for my life.
