If you were out for a meal with a group of friends or family..........and you do not drink.............would you expect to pay for the drink (wine)?

  • silverfox

    Posts: 3179

    Mar 30, 2009 3:40 AM GMT
    I have this group of friends and every time the bill comes and we look it over someone screams out "who ordered the extra cole slaw!"

    It is a sort of Jewish thing I guess.... just like a bunch of old ladies in Miami Beachicon_biggrin.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Mar 30, 2009 4:42 AM GMT
    I know that's sometimes a touchy subject.
    Luckily, my group of friends and I seem to make enough money, and aren't cheap, so the matter almost never comes up. I did have one friend bitch a little because I ordered two chimichangas and took one home. I'm pretty sure that he was serious about it, too. If he had really made an issue about it, I would have thrown a $20 bill at him. LOL. Seriously.

    Interestingly, I have had somebody offer to pay a greater share of the bill because they had ordered something extra, like wine, for instance. I don't like that, either. I feel that it all evens out, over time.

    I can certainly understand why some people might get upset if they were on a tight budget, and couldn't afford to pay that extra amount. Then, they really should speak up. I think that true friends would understand.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9225

    Mar 30, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    To the OP:
    I'm wondering why you didn't speak up at the dinner, when you realized that splitting the check evenly was unfair.
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    Mar 30, 2009 5:21 AM GMT
    Normally I'm all for splitting the tab evenly. But, that's when everyone orders approximately the same thing - ya know, within reason. If someone orders a $40 entree and a ton of drinks when everyone else has $20 entrees and no drinks, something is wrong. If this person does this EVERY time you go out, it gets old real quick.

    It works the other way for me too. If I order a lot more than everyone else in my group, I voluntarily put in more so everyone else doesn't have to pick up my extra. It's just common courtesy really.
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    Mar 30, 2009 5:30 AM GMT
    MPP,
    It depends, I hate when people itemize what they ate. A few times I just took the check and paid the whole thing and just never ate with those people again. However I never ran up a bill that made others pay for more than me and whomever I was with ate or drank. Not my style. I hardley ever drink and today was with my guy, he never drinks alcohol, we were with two friends and one drank 2 or 3 glasses of wine. I didn't mind the = split because they are great friends. It bother's me when people who are not my friends drink alot and expect their drinks to be paid by the others dinning. When that happens I speak up. Drinks can really rack up the bill. I also am not a big dessert guy so I am used to it. I'm not gonna let it bother me.

    I liked a joke I heard a comedian tell -- She went out on a date with a Marine and the Marine said "you know I could kill you in 7 seconds" and she said "I guess I'll just have the toast then."icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 30, 2009 5:58 AM GMT

    Bar-B-Q....problem solved.
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    Mar 30, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    if its family I just pay for the night out, friends we tend to split however we split it, I've never nit picked and never felt taken advantage of, my family and mates are more important to me then any amount of money.. besides I can think of dozens of times where I've had somethign to drink and we've still split it all up evenly
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    Mar 30, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    Hmm. good question. Generally I would only pay for what I ate and would serious expect the same from whoever I was with naturally.

    However there are times when it's not necessary to squabble over certain things and at times like this it can show a persons character. Depending on the group I was with I wouldn't mind paying for the drink since I would probably be going out with them again and hopefully they would do the same for me.
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    Mar 30, 2009 6:51 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI think it is odd when, at a gathering in a restaurant, someone refuses to have a drink - wanting "only water". Then - later, he or she wants special attention - wishing to save a buck or two on the bill. Why not help make the tab even, and go ahead and have a glass of wine - or at least a Sprite or something? If I was so concerned about the fairness of a restaurant tab - I'd be better off staying home.


    ever think that some people don't like alcohol, or better yet that some people can't have alcohol?
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:00 AM GMT
    Depends. Am I treating all my friends/family whom showed up with a vague idea of what a nice dinner with friends/family meant to me? In that case, yes I would. If I offered to pay for the food, and someone or everyone else pay or go dutch on drinks; than no, I wouldn't expect to pay. Then again, if it were to be paid down the middle equally, than I don't think it would matter much to me which items I paid for in the 50/50 split. As long as I leave as happy as I showed up and ate, then it's all good. It's the about the people, not the cash, for me. No offense, if any taken.
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:03 AM GMT
    I completely agree with Know_Wunder.

    I say just split the bill and don't worry about it. Everyone ordered, ate and had a good time (hopefully). Why spoil a good night complaining about a few bucks?
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:16 AM GMT
    I'm guessing there may be more goin on here than what the items were, and maybe it was whom drank what, and whose paying for it, don't mesh well, but I don't know for a fact. Just conjecture. My apologies.
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:24 AM GMT
    Good point, and I just re-read the OP's post. In any relationship or event it's good to have a clear outline of expectations. I would just say to my friends before the meal that I (and whoever else) would rather not contribute to paying for any alcoholic beverages, and then we can figure out the bill with that knowledge.
    (Of course the wait-staff will hate us anyway for having a confounding bill system)
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:25 AM GMT
    I guess it depends. How much was each bottle and how much more did you end up paying? If it was enough to be a problem, now you know the next time you go out with this group inform the waiter ahead of time that you and your partner want a separate check from the others. Never make a big deal about it.
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:34 AM GMT
    Maybe just have everyone pay their own?
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    Mar 30, 2009 7:35 AM GMT

    Why do you always get yourself in such situations, MikeP2?