Gym Etiquette

  • rambi

    Posts: 94

    Sep 28, 2019 9:05 AM GMT
    I go to the gym to work out.. as most of you guys do. When I workout, I completely get lost in my workout, I just want that time to focus on myself.

    Here is where I want to know your thoughts?
    There's an older guy- early 40s. I used to smile back, and receive him with a friendly demeanor. Until, after a while, he became repetitive, he would ask me the same questions :/ "What did I miss?" "Why do you use that machine?" "Can I try it? (for the tenth time).

    Once when I was doing ab exercises he was just standing there with his phone on my face swiping through photos (old ones and of his ex)

    Theres also a leg curl machine placed in front of a seated cable machine. While working on biceps, he walks up to me and tells me he was going to do leg curls, but I am right here so that would make it awkward.. lowkey want to slap this guy lol (no i'm not going to-yet icon_smile.gif

    He also makes comments about what I wear, and not that it matters, but I just want him to get the idea that I dont want to be approached. I don't want to make things weird, but he makes me uncomfortable.

    What would you do?
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    Sep 28, 2019 9:59 AM GMT
    that's easy, I wouldn't have this kind of situation in the first place since I ignore people and I don't usually smile back
  • NealJohn

    Posts: 524

    Sep 28, 2019 1:13 PM GMT
    A constant problem for me. Wear headphones. When he goes to talk to you just smile and point at your headphones while walking away or lifting. If he approaches you during a rest period walk to the water fountain or bathroom, the key is to keep moving. Trust me, he will get the hint
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    Sep 28, 2019 2:10 PM GMT
    Dude's clearly into you and doens't know how to express it... that makes him clueless.

    ...And the whole "looking thru photos of he ex" bit was probably a ruse to taking pix of you... that makes him creepy.

    He's making things weird and creepy... i think a simple, quiet, and stern "back off" will give him the right picture.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22934

    Sep 28, 2019 2:33 PM GMT
    I would just start ignoring him entirely and hopefully than he will take the hint and mind his own damn businessicon_exclaim.gif
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    Sep 28, 2019 4:12 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]rambi said[/cite]I go to the gym to work out.. as most of you guys do. When I workout, I completely get lost in my workout, I just want that time to focus on myself.

    Here is where I want to know your thoughts?
    There's an older guy- early 40s. I used to smile back, and approach him in a friendly demeanor. Until, after a while, he became repetitive, he would ask me the same questions :/ "What did I miss?" "Why do you use that machine?" "Can I try it? (for the tenth time).

    .............
    Another thing, it does not make sense what you wrote really, you wrote that you like to focus on training and that you just want to train, at the same time you wrote you continuously approached him and smiled at him , so what do you expect then? Seems like you were the one repeatedly initiating the response and now you just got tired when he does the same, well, kinda you fault in the first place
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 3930

    Sep 28, 2019 5:49 PM GMT
    ^ Obviously there's a language barrier. The OP simply said he used to respond to the guy's advances politely.

    I agree with Jon, he's being creepy. Be firm and tell him to back off.

    Something like "I'm trying to focus on my workout," accompanied by a glare, should do the trick.
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    Sep 28, 2019 8:18 PM GMT
    Do you have your earbuds in while you're working out? If not, that works. If you do have them, ignore him and pretend you don't see him.
  • rambi

    Posts: 94

    Sep 28, 2019 10:01 PM GMT
    It feels so cold shouldered, but yes i do wear earbuds. He'll stand there shadowing me, just waiting for me to rest between a set; I will remove one earbud for 15 seconds to acknowledge his presence, but then I'll put it back in, and finish my workout. I probably will either ignore him or smile and point to my headphones. I appreciate the tips you guys icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 28, 2019 10:07 PM GMT
    you're welcome icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 29, 2019 2:05 AM GMT
    Don’t take out the headphones and he doesn’t take the hint grab a quick sip of water between reps or go grab a Kleenex from somewhere. Maybe nod and say “hey” if he says something.

    If he’s persistent add a superset so you have an excuse to walk away after each rep. Don’t engage and avoid eye contact. If he seems to follow you around just tell him that it’s kind of creeping you out that he seems to be following you.

    You could also consider changing your workout time for a while until he finds someone to fixate on.

    PS Ignore the comment from the other guy above. He doesn’t realize his suggestion was flat out rude as Bro pointed out and it makes him sound like a jerk. You don’t want to be “That guy!”
  • mstone18

    Posts: 99

    Sep 29, 2019 5:10 AM GMT
    I tend to agree.. eye contact is probably what's driving the situation.

    Its obvious he's developed in his mind a workout relationship or attachment to you.

    Re-establish your personal space by tuning him out.. close your eyes while your doing reps, become oblivious to him.. or say hey to someone else in the gym as if ignoring him. That should break his focus on you.

    A more forceful way would be to actually show up or workout with someone else.. then its easier to say.. "we're trying to focus here".

    I'm not a super noticeable guy at the gym, but I've been approached a few times by guys that don't seem like they belong in the gym.. or they're not there to really workout. Usually they try to get into my personal space and ask me questions about the equipment or seek approval and re-enforcement. I politely answer their questions and quickly break eye contact and move on to another machine whether I'm done or not.. they usually don't pursue me.

    It might be a creepy situation.. I could be wrong and clueless in that regard.. but seems to me some people drift into a gym and try to strike up a workout buddy relationship thinking that's the best way to do it. I'm not sure about that. Too me it seems workout buddies are best friends before they go to the gym.. or decide to go to the gym together before hand.
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 612

    Sep 29, 2019 2:14 PM GMT
    Just wear headphones and say something non-committal like; "I'm listening to a class, book, something for work.."etc. Worst case scenario, a polite but firm "(No) thank you, I am not interested" should be enough. You can always change the times/days you workout. BTW, sometime in the next 20-years you may find yourself longing for the days when guys at the gym would give you attention, but by then it will be too late and you'll be the creepy older guy just like the rest of us. Karma gets everyone. icon_twisted.gif
  • jocked_and_lo...

    Posts: 5149

    Sep 29, 2019 7:52 PM GMT
    Being too sexy for your own good has it's drawbacks.

    I feelz yo pain....

    Trust me, I can relate.

    image.png

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2019 8:00 PM GMT
    ^ how would you know?
  • jocked_and_lo...

    Posts: 5149

    Sep 29, 2019 8:11 PM GMT
    Cuz yo mama told me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2019 9:45 PM GMT
    I am pretty sure you have never even seen a woman naked + my mama ( like you called her ) is not into mentally 5 year olds. Your mom was obviously into that
  • jocked_and_lo...

    Posts: 5149

    Sep 30, 2019 12:46 AM GMT
    Maybe a certain troll with his "eight day rj sock account" would like to start a thread whining about forum etiquette?

    Don't be all jealous cuz I look good on all fours in black pantyhose.



    Here, you can wear them too. Just don't forget yer stiLETHO's....









    eWIvLDQ.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2019 5:36 AM GMT
    I am not into animals, looks like maybe you are
  • jocked_and_lo...

    Posts: 5149

    Sep 30, 2019 6:13 AM GMT
    Caledon saidI am not into animals....


    Liar liar pantz awn fye-ah.....






    tenor.gif?itemid=12326005


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 30, 2019 6:20 AM GMT
    You are obviously into animals wearing sexual clothes kind of kink, hopefully wherever you live sexual exploitation of animals is illegal and no, I don't want to

  • Element1313

    Posts: 409

    Sep 30, 2019 12:27 PM GMT
    Seriously? Are bottoms so passive they can’t communicate a simply , “ I’m not interested in you”?
  • honestsweat

    Posts: 208

    Sep 30, 2019 5:50 PM GMT
    OP, this is a learning experience for you. Some people go to the gym to cruise. Some people go to the gym to lift. The latter are the ones who will stick with it and be fit when they're in their 70s.

    He is obviously trying to start a conversation with you in hopes it will go further. It appears you have tried to let him down gently and he has not understood your signals.

    Suggestions -

    + keep the headphones on. If he tries to engage, point to them and say, "Sorry, I'm on a conference call." Then walk away.

    + if he asks how to use a piece of equipment reply with, "I'd hate to give you any bad advice. The gym says you should ask one of their personal trainers about how to use the equipment. I agree."
    [I have gone so far as to say "Walk with me", walked the person over to the personal training desk and said "Joe would like information about how to use the leg curl machine." and then walked away. ]

    + if he is persistent, and you have made your wishes known, put up your hand and say, "Talk to the hand. Stop it."

    + if he exhibits stalker behavior, go the front desk and talk with one of the personal trainers. Ask one of them to shadow you while you are working out and, if they see him start to approach you, intervene. This is done more frequently than you can imagine.

    No matter what, only engage in these behaviors in the presence of others. There are some crazies out there and your personal safety is paramount.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2019 3:38 AM GMT
    Here is another option not to create friction with someone at the gym. You know that you have misguided him at the beginning and it is not all his fault because he is interested in you. Just have a conversation with him and tell him that you have a boyfriend hinting him that you are taken. That works for me. I have some weird guys making orgy noise in the same sauna room with me and he was rubbing his butt on a the concrete step where people sit. I also have a cute Latino muscle came close to me in the men locker took off his clothes and showed his big cock next to me. I was speechless and a little aroused. Things can happen in awkward situations. Smile and make a conversation and tell them you are taken. Many will slowly back off.
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    Oct 17, 2019 4:44 AM GMT
    Had a similar situation..I froze the guy out.. I dont even acknowledge him..no smile..no nods..nothing...It worked being a prick..better that than me feeling uncomfortable and losing out on lifting time dealing with his shit...Good luck.