Where's my libido?

  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 02, 2020 5:14 AM GMT
    So, to keep it short, I recently (~2m ago) ended a serious relationship and been pretty down for quite a while, although that's already getting a lot better. Obviously, for quote a while I haven't been in the mood for anything romantic and/or sexual, and figured at least the sexual stuff would come back after a while, but here I am, in April, still barely ever getting horny anymore which is very much unlike me. I recently went to hang out with my ex and we had sex a few times and it worked well (except for one time I got soft), but other than that... I think over the past two months I've jerked off maybe 6-7 times, and half of those times I actually just forced myself hoping that maybe it'd help with the lack of horniness.
    My mood is fine at this point, so idk what's wrong. Anyone else ever experienced something similar?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2020 2:07 PM GMT
    Sometimes our bodies mourn past relationships..Even in the most dysfunctional relationships...You're going through a process..Be aware of it and continue to move forward. This will past and great times are to be had...Cheers bro.
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    Apr 05, 2020 2:03 AM GMT
    It could be 'situational depression' in terms of the brake up and still having trouble of letting go and starting new, your circumstances are dictating your mood and your libido. This is normal it has happened to me. You also might want to rule out anything physical as well in terms of your testosterone levels, cortisone, and estrogen levels as well - these could also dictate your libido if they are not in check it would signal lack of libido. So I would start, with a complete lab work from your doctor once the COVID-19 shelter in place is over, or if they can send a nurse to take your blood and run the blood panel then with results.

    Also try Helix Mobile Wellness and Research which I use and they are in your area Chicago to run the lab panel as an alternative. They are opened during this time.
    https://helixmwr.com/locations/
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 06, 2020 12:49 AM GMT
    Okay already good to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I guess I'll see how this develops and if it doesn't get better by the end of this quarantine I might check out if anything's up with my hormones. Thanks guys!
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22908

    Apr 06, 2020 11:02 AM GMT
    Oh please, try dealing with mild depression and anxiety. That will keep your libido down indefinitely especially when you get older.
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    Apr 06, 2020 10:59 PM GMT
    stemkin saidOkay already good to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I guess I'll see how this develops and if it doesn't get better by the end of this quarantine I might check out if anything's up with my hormones. Thanks guys!


    I think this one is really a lesbian and is just trying to see if she can figure out what's between the legs.
    Also, SOY will kill a libedo fast! Are you a SOY-BOY?
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 07, 2020 1:11 AM GMT
    What... are you talking about
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    May 08, 2020 3:06 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]stemkin said[/cite]What... are you talking about[/quote
    Loverboy,
    I was mentioning that Soy products can cause an increased estrogen level in men.
    Now, I know you don't believe a word I'm saying so if you do use excessive soy products
    stop. If you need to have your libdo back take ZMA nightly. Avoid plastic based food and water
    products. Just a few to start with. Try it and see.....Otherwise, be limp
    Also, if you're on any kind of pharmaceuticals they can cause issues etc....
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 08, 2020 3:17 AM GMT
    Well that's good to know. Don't really excessively use soy products when I cook but going forward I'll keep it in mind. At the moment I feel like it's mostly an emotional thing though, since I don't seem to have any problems with my libido when it comes to my ex.
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    May 08, 2020 3:25 AM GMT
    stemkin saidWell that's good to know. Don't really excessively use soy products when I cook but going forward I'll keep it in mind. At the moment I feel like it's mostly an emotional thing though, since I don't seem to have any problems with my libido when it comes to my ex.


    I know emotional trauma hits us hard and even like when you experience a death of a loved one.
    What are the solutions?

    Meditation
    Walks along the beach
    Funny and humorous conversations
    Avoid seriousness and BS.
    See things a little lighthearted more often
    icon_wink.gif
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 08, 2020 3:29 AM GMT
    I did pick up meditation and walks again, and I'm socializing a lot more nowadays! So I guess once this quarantine stuff is over we'll see how hard I can get with other guys lol. Thanks for the advice!
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    May 08, 2020 3:37 AM GMT
    stemkin saidI did pick up meditation and walks again, and I'm socializing a lot more nowadays! So I guess once this quarantine stuff is over we'll see how hard I can get with other guys lol. Thanks for the advice!


    You'll be just fine. We both have our opinions about things and I most certainly do
    about is overblown pandemic. My view about hook ups and being hard with others
    is the least of my worries. Friendships and solid bonds go beyond sex.

    Have you tried a hot lava rock back treatment, followed by a topical avocado all over body rub?
    A good midwest boy like you would forget even the most nasty relationship.
    Aloha
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 08, 2020 3:53 AM GMT
    Ha, we don't really have those here in Chi nor in Germany, but I'll keep that in mind for when I make it to some of the islands!
  • Fritter

    Posts: 1938

    May 08, 2020 3:59 PM GMT
    May I ask, is Mr. Happy still "up" before you most mornings? If not maybe some medical investigation is needed. If Mr. Happy still visits most mornings, things should normalise once you find the next Mr. Right in your life.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 08, 2020 4:05 PM GMT
    Oh I can still get hard, I just don't feel horny as often as I used to
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    May 08, 2020 7:49 PM GMT
    Do you want to be horny more often?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5263

    May 08, 2020 7:53 PM GMT
    I think you're underestimating the depressive effect of this global pandemic. The lack of activity. Constant bad news. The morons that don't think 70,000 dead people is anything to care about. It's bad news. Sometimes we get horny to make ourselves feel better and sometimes we just don't feel happy. I wouldn't worry and I'd certainly not try to medicate it. Exercise, fresh air, stretching, even epsom salt baths are all good. But if you really want to feel good, get a dog. I can't help but feel good when out walking with them.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 08, 2020 8:22 PM GMT
    I mean, yeah kinda. Normally I'd be horny at least on the daily, nowadays there may be well over a week without jerking off unless I actively try hahah

    Nah this already started before the quarantine stuff
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    May 09, 2020 12:51 AM GMT
    Think of Pavlov’s dog and how he becomes conditioned to salivate when he hears that bell. Perhaps during your relationship your libido developed an association with something physical or emotional about your partner. And then during the relationship this association becomes strengthened as time goes on. I say this because you mentioned everything went well when you went to hang out with him after the breakup. Now, after the breakup, your libido has become accustomed to a certain stimulus to come “online” but because that stimulus isn’t there with the same frequency it’s just kind of taking a nap, if that makes any sense.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 09, 2020 1:33 AM GMT
    It actually does! I'll just try and make myself jerk off regularly even if I'm not horny and maybe that'll help a bit.
  • Fritter

    Posts: 1938

    May 09, 2020 1:54 AM GMT
    stemkin saidIt actually does! I'll just try and make myself jerk off regularly even if I'm not horny and maybe that'll help a bit.


    I can help with that if needed.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 09, 2020 2:56 AM GMT
    What a generous offer!
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    May 09, 2020 6:57 AM GMT
    suckitup said
    stemkin saidOkay already good to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I guess I'll see how this develops and if it doesn't get better by the end of this quarantine I might check out if anything's up with my hormones. Thanks guys!


    I think this one is really a lesbian and is just trying to see if she can figure out what's between the legs.
    Also, SOY will kill a libedo fast! Are you a SOY-BOY?


    Bullshit, I used soy for years while measuring my T, it never affected it negatively.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2020 7:06 AM GMT
    I find it unlikely that you would have hormonal issues that just so happen to coincide with the end of a relationship. I've gone through periods of low to no libido too. Worrying about your libido doesn't help your libido. It's a form of performance anxiety. Libido is supposed to be spontaneous but you're treating it like it was some kind of clock. Just don't focus on it, do something you find pleasurable. Sex is not a necessity like food and shelter. It's totally ok not feeling horny every day. It will come back when you least expect.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 10, 2020 4:30 PM GMT
    Yeah, given that in my past relationship I probably bottomed more than I topped, and after not having sex outside a relationship for almost 6 years, that performance anxiety thing might very well be. I was never the biggest fan of planned sex.