Why are ALL gay guys such insecure whores?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 6:47 AM GMT
    Why should it bother me what other people are doing between themselves ? I am not an insecure w.... so .....It bothers me more when people are just spreading their foul , ignorant negativity and whining loudly, bro

    I already answered - if you don't like them, no one is forcing you to be around them.

    You actually remind me of homophobes who are also bothered how lgtb behave and how they should behave

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:06 AM GMT
    Caledon saidWhy should it bother me what other people are doing between themselves ? I am not an insecure w.... so .....It bothers me more when people are just spreading their foul , ignorant negativity and whining loudly, bro

    I already answered - if you don't like them, no one is forcing you to be around them.

    You actually remind me of homophobes who are also bothered how lgtb behave and how they should behave


    lol. but what you're leaving out is you can't meet anyone who actually has substance unless youre around them! You can't meet a dude at straight bars... So yes, it does affect me that i have to go to gay places to meet someone cool, and everyone is a stupid whore. You don't see the problem? or are you just ignorant?
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 13, 2020 7:14 AM GMT
    What is it that makes you feel like you have to describe people as stupid whores?
    Like damn, if people wanna enjoy sex, let them enjoy sex and don't cling to the idea that sleeping with a certain number of men somehow decreases your value or dignity or anything. I agree that it can be hard to find a serious, monogamous relationship or go on a date that doesn't have any expectations of sex tied to it, especially because gay dating is pretty much confined to gay bars and hookup apps.

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:19 AM GMT
    stemkin saidWhat is it that makes you feel like you have to describe people as stupid whores?
    Like damn, if people wanna enjoy sex, let them enjoy sex and don't cling to the idea that sleeping with a certain number of men somehow decreases your value or dignity or anything. I agree that it can be hard to find a serious, monogamous relationship or go on a date that doesn't have any expectations of sex tied to it, especially because gay dating is pretty much confined to gay bars and hookup apps.


    yeah thats exactly why. the second part of your post answered the first part! Because it does affect people who want something more that the norm is "fuck everyone". because the people setting that norm makes everyone feel liek they have to do it so they become that way... and it creates even more of the same. I swear it gets worse every year. On the apps people don't even say hi anymore they just send a pic of their rancid meat taco. icon_eek.gif
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 13, 2020 7:26 AM GMT
    I get how that can be frustrating but that doesn't mean that people who enjoy it deserve to be disrespected is what I'm saying. And obviously apps like Grindr are primarily for hookups and most people will hit you up with certain intentions in mind, but there's still plenty of really decent guys on there that are serious about dating or friendships or whatnot, it's definitely possible.

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:29 AM GMT
    stemkin saidI get how that can be frustrating but that doesn't mean that people who enjoy it deserve to be disrespected is what I'm saying. And obviously apps like Grindr are primarily for hookups and most people will hit you up with certain intentions in mind, but there's still plenty of really decent guys on there that are serious about dating or friendships or whatnot, it's definitely possible.


    I'm definitely open to seeing that. I haven't yet. I literally signed up and got all bent over ass pics lmao!

    at gay bars, guys only talk to me to try and take me home or grab my junk.. Its seriously annoying. Like I'm actually a person. How about asking me a few questions and maybe I would be interested in getting to know ya and eventually, yeah you'll get some. people can't even wait like 10 minutes without grabbing and offering their ass.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 13, 2020 7:33 AM GMT
    Yeah I don't disagree. I've signed up on Grindr a few weeks ago, stating clearly that I'm not looking for dates or hookups, and yet the vast majority of convos sooner or later goes in that direction (unsolicited dick pics, etc). But still, I think I've met a good 6-8 people who seem very genuine, so I guess you just gotta dig through the horny crowd and pick out the good ones.
    And yeah I can't argue with the thing about the bars. If I want serious dates or friendships, it's hard to trust the guys who hit you up at a bar cause most of the time they just wanna hook up. Maybe the safest route here is meeting people organically (like, at work, at events, etc) or through common friends...?

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:49 AM GMT
    stemkin saidYeah I don't disagree. I've signed up on Grindr a few weeks ago, stating clearly that I'm not looking for dates or hookups, and yet the vast majority of convos sooner or later goes in that direction (unsolicited dick pics, etc). But still, I think I've met a good 6-8 people who seem very genuine, so I guess you just gotta dig through the horny crowd and pick out the good ones.
    And yeah I can't argue with the thing about the bars. If I want serious dates or friendships, it's hard to trust the guys who hit you up at a bar cause most of the time they just wanna hook up. Maybe the safest route here is meeting people organically (like, at work, at events, etc) or through common friends...?


    yeah the bars are terrible. last time I went out in Chicago I felt like a glass of water and everyone was thirsty lol. Got like 5 offers to fuck, 2 offers to go home with a couple, and junk was grabbed like 5 times lol.
    But for an introvert who is bi and not gay acting, its sort of hard to meet people organically. And i don't work at a job so don't have work friends. Literally I have a straight crew of friends and thats it. Not great at meeting gay friends--clearly.. I'm trying to make friends at the bar and theyre trying to get down my pants lol
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 13, 2020 7:54 AM GMT
    Even here in Chicago theres better and worse bars to go to though, like if you went to Hydrate then yeah everyone's gonna be half naked making out with each other, but Sidetrack for example is a lot more relaxed, especially on Sundays. I do agree with the rest, and I'm kinda in the same boat at the moment so my idea was to find people on Grindr that seem genuine, hang out with them and get to know their friends as well.
    Are you out?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22428

    Apr 13, 2020 11:43 AM GMT
    DigitalNomadJock said
    mybud saidLack of self confidence and individualism. Instead of being themselves..they mold themselves after those they're attracted too.....they make themselves utter fools to obtain their desire...whoring themselves in the process.


    but are there any actual good ones? it seriously seems like everyone is trashy and diseased.
    Your generalizing, not ALL gay guys are slutty and trashy. There are a large number of gay men who are everyday working people and who are not into one night stands or the bar scenes. Your accusing all of us gay men as being slutty and trashy just proves to me how ignorant and unknowledgeable you are making such outlandish and broad generalizations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 1:20 PM GMT
    DigitalNomadJock saidSo I guess I'm sort of new to the whole scene, but why are all gay guys so slutty. Like everyone has slept with everyone and everyone seems to be in an open relationship.

    What is up with this? It makes it really hard for those of us who are looking for something real and long term.

    What do you guys think the reason is? is it genetic or is everyone just doing it to fit in.
    Or does being rejected growing up make gay people damaged and desperate for positive attention that they mistake sex for validation?


    It is a ridiculous statement to make that "ALL GAYS GUYS ARE SLUTTY"
  • PFbro

    Posts: 9

    Apr 13, 2020 1:39 PM GMT
    I’ll make an attempt to answer the question only, as I’m not all that great at giving advice.

    I just think the reason you feel that gay men are promiscuous is just a matter of genetics. Men just generally tend to have higher sex drives. Look at straight guys talking among each other about women. The talk will at some point get raw and sexual about women. Look at how many titty bars, porn sites etc. there are. Now take that high amount of testosterone among men and direct it at other men that are attracted to each other and it’s just natural instinct. That same raw instinct isn’t as overt women (not saying they aren’t as desiring, but it’s less overt). What do you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 2:00 PM GMT
    PFbro saidI’ll make an attempt to answer the question only, as I’m not all that great at giving advice.

    I just think the reason you feel that gay men are promiscuous is just a matter of genetics. Men just generally tend to have higher sex drives. Look at straight guys talking among each other about women. The talk will at some point get raw and sexual about women. Look at how many titty bars, porn sites etc. there are. Now take that high amount of testosterone among men and direct it at other men that are attracted to each other and it’s just natural instinct. That same raw instinct isn’t as overt women (not saying they aren’t as desiring, but it’s less overt). What do you guys think?


    The host asked why all gay men are insecure whores not why men in general tend to be potentially more promiscuous, pay attention to what was asked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 5:41 PM GMT
    The lady doth protest too much, methinks. And perhaps there's just a bit of bragging - that he is groped in every gay bar he enters, as if he were a copy of a 22 year old Brad Pit or a famous underwear model. Strains credulity just a bit.

    If the OP doesn't like the reaction he gets in his circle of gay bars, he could find different bars to visit, or give up on gay bars altogether. These days, except in the sleaziest of places, it is difficult to meet guys as one used to do, because most guys don't go to gay bars alone today, but with friends (So I am told by all my single friends).

    One begins to wonder, with his extremely negative view of gay sexuality, and his condemnation of gay men in general, if he is really gay (er even bi).

    Assuming for the moment that the OP is not a troll, if he wants to find some one for an LTR, gay bars are not the place to look. This is a jock site, so, if he has an interest in jock things or sports, the place to meet other guys is probably in sports activities or clubs (or, in any other organization. But, if he is 38, he has already missed at least 18 years worth of these opportunities. He ought to drop the bar scene and get crackin in real life (after the quarantine period is over.)

  • FormerShark

    Posts: 501

    Apr 13, 2020 6:05 PM GMT
    Radd saidI have pondered this for years. My theory is that anytime you tell someone they can't do something or shouldn't do something, the more they will crave that thing and tend to go crazy once they're able to get it. Just think of the proverbial preacher's daughter.....they really do tend to be quite slutty. Although I was brought up in a very strict fundamentalist home, luckily I had someone I was able to mess around with from an early age so I never experienced that restraint from sex.

    Well, your personality is a powerful cock-blocker so it almost certainly hasn't been up to you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 6:17 PM GMT
    original.gif

  • Apr 13, 2020 6:58 PM GMT
    PFbro saidI’ll make an attempt to answer the question only, as I’m not all that great at giving advice.

    I just think the reason you feel that gay men are promiscuous is just a matter of genetics. Men just generally tend to have higher sex drives. Look at straight guys talking among each other about women. The talk will at some point get raw and sexual about women. Look at how many titty bars, porn sites etc. there are. Now take that high amount of testosterone among men and direct it at other men that are attracted to each other and it’s just natural instinct. That same raw instinct isn’t as overt women (not saying they aren’t as desiring, but it’s less overt). What do you guys think?


    yeah i totally agree with this. Women definitely want it, they just don't have the alpha testosterone going, they're much more subtle and willing to look for quality rather than to just get off.

    That's what i'm saying. Of course I'm a dude... of course I want to get off... but i can keep it in my pants for at least a few dates until i get to know someone! I don't walk up to someone I don't even know and my first piece of conversation is saying i could fuck the shit out of them... i mean come on..

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:05 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidThe lady doth protest too much, methinks. And perhaps there's just a bit of bragging - that he is groped in every gay bar he enters, as if he were a copy of a 22 year old Brad Pit or a famous underwear model. Strains credulity just a bit.

    If the OP doesn't like the reaction he gets in his circle of gay bars, he could find different bars to visit, or give up on gay bars altogether. These days, except in the sleaziest of places, it is difficult to meet guys as one used to do, because most guys don't go to gay bars alone today, but with friends (So I am told by all my single friends).

    One begins to wonder, with his extremely negative view of gay sexuality, and his condemnation of gay men in general, if he is really gay (er even bi).

    Assuming for the moment that the OP is not a troll, if he wants to find some one for an LTR, gay bars are not the place to look. This is a jock site, so, if he has an interest in jock things or sports, the place to meet other guys is probably in sports activities or clubs (or, in any other organization. But, if he is 38, he has already missed at least 18 years worth of these opportunities. He ought to drop the bar scene and get crackin in real life (after the quarantine period is over.)



    thanks for your assessment of me lol
    yes i am a real person
    yes i am bi
    yes i get groped. I tend to take care of my body and apparently I'm attractive to a lot of people lol. Hope that doesn't offend ya. I'm just being honest
    So spending a lot of those years going back and forth between girls and guys hasn't helped

    but i would like your real recommendation where to meet people. you seem to know a lot about this. You can't simply say "why don't you not go to gay bars anymore" and hope to possibly meet a guy. it doesn't really work that way to not go out anywhere and sit at home and hope to meet a guy lol

    and meeting people at normal events, charity, sports, clubs, etc doesn't really work because people assume i'm straight, so unless I sit people down one by one and say, btw I'm interested in dudes too, then they don't know to introduce me to their cool gay friend.

    so where do you suggest going to meet quality, not sex-driven and obsessed good guys if not bars?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5262

    Apr 13, 2020 7:37 PM GMT
    Not all gay guys are but what gives you the right to determine what is acceptable or not? You're cruising gay bars to pick up a guy and are getting offended when he moves faster than your prudish point of view. In my experience gay guys attract similar and I think that's exactly what's happening to you.

  • Apr 13, 2020 7:44 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidNot all gay guys are but what gives you the right to determine what is acceptable or not? You're cruising gay bars to pick up a guy and are getting offended when he moves faster than your prudish point of view. In my experience gay guys attract similar and I think that's exactly what's happening to you.


    How am i attracting similar when I am looking for a LTR and they are trying to get me to f*ck them lol!
    Thats sort of a ridiculous thing to say
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    Apr 13, 2020 7:46 PM GMT
    You could volunteer! I volunteer at an LGBT-focused health services group that does a lot of sex ed, STI tests, counseling etc and you get to network quite a bit there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 7:59 PM GMT
    Look in the mirror and tell us why.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5262

    Apr 13, 2020 8:05 PM GMT
    DigitalNomadJock said
    Destinharbor saidNot all gay guys are but what gives you the right to determine what is acceptable or not? You're cruising gay bars to pick up a guy and are getting offended when he moves faster than your prudish point of view. In my experience gay guys attract similar and I think that's exactly what's happening to you.


    How am i attracting similar when I am looking for a LTR and they are trying to get me to f*ck them lol!
    Thats sort of a ridiculous thing to say

    You're cruising gay bars looking to pick up a guy. Gee, why are all these guys looking to hook up? You need to stop the silly Pollyanna schoolgirl routine. You sound ridiculous. How about trying a gay sports league? Or volunteer group. People form relationships based on similarity of interests and the common connection you choose to display is a pickup bar. And btw, I lived closeted in the straight world for decades and I guarantee straight guys and relationships are no different. So you're afraid of sex? Lots of guys out there are, too. But you probably won't find them trying to pick up guys in a gay bar. And stop with the stupid bitching about open relationships. That can mean anything and mostly means the couple is secure with the other's judgement about where their mutual line is and that they're both observing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2020 9:10 PM GMT
    Post above is +++++++1

  • Apr 13, 2020 9:10 PM GMT
    stemkin saidYou could volunteer! I volunteer at an LGBT-focused health services group that does a lot of sex ed, STI tests, counseling etc and you get to network quite a bit there!


    thats actually a great idea. I do a lot of volunteering but none of it is gay related
    except now were all stuck inside from corona