When to resume normal dating

  • bro4bro

    Posts: 3893

    May 10, 2020 4:21 PM GMT
    For those of you who are single and sexually active (if there's anybody like that left on the forums) but abstaining due to COVID, how will you decide it's ok to meet and have sex with new guys again?

    This hit me when I read in a guy's Scruff profile he'll start meeting guys again "when someone says it's ok" (his exact words). But who? I sincerely doubt there will ever be an announcement that random hookups are ok. Nobody's going to ring a bell on the top of Capitol Hill and say, "Gentlemen, start your engines..."

    California says the process of reopening will likely take "a year or more." We may never have an effective vaccine. So, what criterion will you use to determine it's time to get back to your normal sexual behavior?

    For me, it will be based on the number of new infections per day here in LA County. But admittedly I haven't decided yet what number is acceptable.

    Oh, and partnered guys - no offense, but your responses aren't relevant here. Kinda like someone with a freezer full of ice cream lecturing you to stay away from junk food.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 10, 2020 4:45 PM GMT
    Well definitely not while the number of cases here keeps increasing the way it does right now. It's smart to look at other countries, for one because a lot of them have capable leaders that actually rely on science (shoutout to Merkel, what a blessing to have an actual scientist for a leader), and because some of them are ahead of the states, time-wise (due to earlier outbreak and/or better and quicker reactions). I think the most crucial aspects are the healthcare system and the R number which should be <1. Obviously, it'd be smartest to not hook up until this is over, but we don't know how realistic that is, with subsequent waves etc and people being people. But assuming the worst case, hooking up and contracting Covid, the consequences are a lot more drastic if hospitals are at capacity and the cirus still spreads like crazy. And either way, be smart about it and don't hook up with a dozen people within two weeks; IF one wants to break social distancing, maybe wait 10-14 days in between to see if you have any symptoms, just in case you carry the virus asymptomatically after the hookup.
    Keep in mind that anyone who is looking to hook up during a pandemic is most likely not exclusively looking to hook up with you, but also with others.
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    May 11, 2020 4:21 AM GMT
    And then there is also the category of guys like me who are in monogamous relationships but don't live in the same city. I haven't seen my boyfriend since mid-March but I'm thinking that by next month, statewide stay-at-home governor's orders or not, I'm gonna suggest we start making the weekly 2.5 hour drive to see each other again -- and certainly not staying 6 feet apart when we do.
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    May 11, 2020 5:22 AM GMT
    Just watch porn and stock up on lube. That's your best bet for now.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22676

    May 11, 2020 1:19 PM GMT
    I doubt that we will return to normalcy anytime soon because there are so many unknowns regarding this Coronavirus icon_neutral.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 24194

    May 11, 2020 3:00 PM GMT
    Most things will start opening here in AZ today, with more opening end of week. We're getting back to normal quickly as possible. We know we will all die eventually...that's one given in life.
  • barefootlover

    Posts: 899

    May 11, 2020 3:40 PM GMT
    Dating and sex is not forbidden here. It's considered essential. Just not suppose to hang out in big groups. But, it's fine with a friend. People are getting ill from isolation and that's not good.
  • JDuderrr

    Posts: 507

    May 11, 2020 4:28 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidwe will all die eventually...that's one given in life.


    Unfortunately, the outcomes aren't just binary (i.e., either dead or alive). There's alive but amputee due to blood clot (like Broadway actor Nick Cordero), alive but mentally impaired due to oxygen deprivation, alive but disabled due to permanent breathing impairment, etc. Those are the truly scary outcomes, especially for single gay men who need to look after themselves. You may wish you were dead at that point but you'll have to find someone to hold a pillow over your face. My judgement--not worth it until there is a functional vaccine or an early treatment available at every physician office (like Tamiflu). We are still a long ways off, gentlemen.
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 3893

    May 11, 2020 4:37 PM GMT
    Oddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 835

    May 11, 2020 4:44 PM GMT
    I stopped dating and having sex years ago… As the age range of guys that I enjoyed slipped further and further behind me as I aged. Now it’s just videos, pictures and memories… Not too bad considering all that’s going on out there these days…
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 24194

    May 11, 2020 4:50 PM GMT
    JDuderrr said
    My judgement--not worth it until there is a functional vaccine or an early treatment available at every physician office (like Tamiflu). We are still a long ways off, gentlemen.


    That may be your judgement and, if so, lock yourself up, live in fear, and wait for a vaccine that may or may not ever come out and may or may not even work. That, in my opinion, is no way to live. Life comes with risks -- we take them every day when we leave the house. There have already been many studies that show clear data that these lockdowns come with all sorts of other risks that, in reality, could be even worse than the virus itself. Let's not forget that 98.9% of the people who get CoVid survive it --- some with no symptoms at all. Most victims who die from CoVid had some sort of underlying pre-existing conditions that contributed to the severity of how they were affected by CoVid.
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    May 11, 2020 5:06 PM GMT
    bro4bro said
    Oh, and partnered guys - no offense, but your responses aren't relevant here. Kinda like someone with a freezer full of ice cream lecturing you to stay away from junk food.


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  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 11, 2020 5:31 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22676

    May 11, 2020 8:16 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?
    I was never sexually active to begin with so this isn’t all that important to me. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 35 years of ageicon_eek.gif
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    May 11, 2020 11:21 PM GMT
    stemkin said
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, this safety feature should've been in practice for EVERYONE a long time ago! Wouldn't you agree?
    P.S. It may last longer and/or really never GO AWAY>>>>>>>!icon_twisted.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22676

    May 12, 2020 1:28 AM GMT
    suckitup said
    stemkin said
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, this safety feature should've been in practice for EVERYONE a long time ago! Wouldn't you agree?
    P.S. It may last longer and/or really never GO AWAY>>>>>>>!icon_twisted.gif
    Probably if everyone would hold onto their virginity longer than we wouldn’t have much to worry about regarding this situation. Look at me I didn’t have sex until I was 35 and it didn’t hurt me one iotaicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2020 1:57 AM GMT
    So sex is the light at the end of the tunnel? The human mind has such a delightful sense of humor icon_lol.gif
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    May 12, 2020 3:05 AM GMT
    roadbikeRob said
    suckitup said
    stemkin said
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, this safety feature should've been in practice for EVERYONE a long time ago! Wouldn't you agree?
    P.S. It may last longer and/or really never GO AWAY>>>>>>>!icon_twisted.gif
    Probably if everyone would hold onto their virginity longer than we wouldn’t have much to worry about regarding this situation. Look at me I didn’t have sex until I was 35 and it didn’t hurt me one iotaicon_cool.gif


    Well, Bunky, I'm not sure I was talking to you, was I?
    I've met old spinsters gurls like U and they all seem to
    have some kind of jaded, bitter and overwhelming view that
    they need to beat the shit out of everyone who touches themselves
    inappropriately. What kind of mental disorder is this?

    Sex is a good thing, a great thing between others, just be safe out there!
  • Element1313

    Posts: 400

    May 12, 2020 4:03 AM GMT
    I thought you don’t date.


    bro4bro saidFor those of you who are single and sexually active (if there's anybody like that left on the forums) but abstaining due to COVID, how will you decide it's ok to meet and have sex with new guys again?

    This hit me when I read in a guy's Scruff profile he'll start meeting guys again "when someone says it's ok" (his exact words). But who? I sincerely doubt there will ever be an announcement that random hookups are ok. Nobody's going to ring a bell on the top of Capitol Hill and say, "Gentlemen, start your engines..."

    California says the process of reopening will likely take "a year or more." We may never have an effective vaccine. So, what criterion will you use to determine it's time to get back to your normal sexual behavior?

    For me, it will be based on the number of new infections per day here in LA County. But admittedly I haven't decided yet what number is acceptable.

    Oh, and partnered guys - no offense, but your responses aren't relevant here. Kinda like someone with a freezer full of ice cream lecturing you to stay away from junk food.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 4082

    May 12, 2020 4:49 AM GMT
    I have a tentative date for this weekend. Need to get to Vitamin Shoppe for some Quercetin and zinc for prophylactic. I'm hoping it will be good for allergies that are kicking up too. The way I see it, we're all going to be exposed to it eventually. It's not going to go away until that happens. The new cases that are still popping up are all occurring despite mitigation; not from licking doorknobs.
  • stemkin

    Posts: 217

    May 12, 2020 7:10 AM GMT
    suckitup said
    stemkin said
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, this safety feature should've been in practice for EVERYONE a long time ago! Wouldn't you agree?
    P.S. It may last longer and/or really never GO AWAY>>>>>>>!icon_twisted.gif


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, yes, the only options we have to contain this pandemic, besides the ones that are currently in place, are a vaccine, treatment, or naturally inquired immunity, the first two of which are in development/production, and the latter being a matter of time (hopefully). That being said, what exactly are you trying to say?

    Also at this point just a reminder that the effects of SARS-nCovare not fully understood yet and it might not "just be a flu" or "not be dangerous to anyone <65", especially given apparent correlations with blood clot disorders, the possibility of lasting neuronal damage and the recent suspicions (!!!) of other disease-like symptoms in children <5 years old. It's not the apocalpypse, but for god's sake be smart about it and act responsibly with regards to your own life and those of others!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2020 9:05 AM GMT
    stemkin said
    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, yes, the only options we have to contain this pandemic, besides the ones that are currently in place, are a vaccine, treatment, or naturally inquired immunity, the first two of which are in development/production, and the latter being a matter of time (hopefully). That being said, what exactly are you trying to say?

    Also at this point just a reminder that the effects of SARS-nCovare not fully understood yet and it might not "just be a flu" or "not be dangerous to anyone <65", especially given apparent correlations with blood clot disorders, the possibility of lasting neuronal damage and the recent suspicions (!!!) of other disease-like symptoms in children <5 years old. It's not the apocalpypse, but for god's sake be smart about it and act responsibly with regards to your own life and those of others!

    All true. Although monogamously partnered and not dating anymore myself, this virus somewhat reminds me of gay dating in the mid-1990s. When HIV/AIDS still wasn’t fully understood, treatments for it uncertain and experimental. And no vaccine (to this day).

    Sounds a lot like the novel coronavirus today. So what did we do? We practiced safe sex, under the presumption that EVERY guy was poz, even if he didn’t know himself, frequently asymptomatic (sound familiar again?).

    Well, you can’t practice safe sex with this virus. With HIV you had to have direct body fluid contact, most typically sexual. And you could take precautions such as using a barrier like a condom. But with the coronavirus you can catch it in the air merely by being near an infected person.

    So our other safety was constant testing. But with a “blackout” window of 3-6 months before the HIV antibodies were detectable, using the common tests, you were always dealing with a big time lapse, between how he last tested and what he had done in those months since. At least with the coronavirus the results are usually a bit quicker, though still some time lag, with tests known to produce false negatives.

    Bottom line answer: to be truly safe we’ve gotta maintain social distancing and perhaps masking, even in dating. Or simply forego in-person dating altogether at present. Even if you both recently have tested negative, you could contract it later that same day by some ordinary casual contact. And become infectious to others very quickly after your own exposure.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2020 11:04 AM GMT
    It's still going to be a couple of months before it's declared safe in the UK to reopen barber shops and dentists. So if I can't have someone touching my hair or sticking gloved hands in my mouth, I'm certainly not looking to get laid any time soon.

    I follow Doctor Ranj on his social media, and he's been very open about how much he misses getting his Vitamin-D fix, so I'll wait for him to confirm when its safe to start shagging again.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 22676

    May 12, 2020 12:00 PM GMT
    suckitup said
    roadbikeRob said
    suckitup said
    stemkin said
    bro4bro saidOddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?


    We all know this is just temporary, and so we decide if we wanna keep our dicks in our pants for a little bit longer, or if we wanna risk helping spread the virus.


    With such a deep understanding of microbiology, this safety feature should've been in practice for EVERYONE a long time ago! Wouldn't you agree?
    P.S. It may last longer and/or really never GO AWAY>>>>>>>!icon_twisted.gif
    Probably if everyone would hold onto their virginity longer than we wouldn’t have much to worry about regarding this situation. Look at me I didn’t have sex until I was 35 and it didn’t hurt me one iotaicon_cool.gif


    Well, Bunky, I'm not sure I was talking to you, was I?
    I've met old spinsters gurls like U and they all seem to
    have some kind of jaded, bitter and overwhelming view that
    they need to beat the shit out of everyone who touches themselves
    inappropriately. What kind of mental disorder is this?

    Sex is a good thing, a great thing between others, just be safe out there!
    FYI, bunk these are public forums and if I want to chime in and give my two cents, than I reserve the right to do so whether you are talking to me or not. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it bunkicon_exclaim.gif

    Also I don’t suffer from any mental disorder but evidently you suffer from one due to your intense love of public lewdnessicon_cool.gif
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    May 12, 2020 12:29 PM GMT
    bro4bro said
    Oddly, several people are simply saying "don't!", with no strategy for ever getting laid again.

    Maybe some had no strategy even before the virus. But for the rest of you, are you really not even envisioning a light at the end of the tunnel?

    There was a wonderful biographical movie about President Abraham Lincoln in 1940, titled “Abe Lincoln In Illinois”, starring not a US actor, but Canadian Raymond Massey. Of course it was the usual Hollywood half-fictional biography. Though they did get the famous Lincoln-Douglas debate nearly verbatim, as reported at the time.

    But one line of the script sticks with me, perhaps applicable today. Forgive me if I mistquote it from memory.

    Lincoln recounts a legend that some great ruler had asked a philosopher to create a single saying that would always be suitable in every situation. The philosopher gave as his answer: “And this too shall pass.”

    I don’t know if Lincoln actually ever did say those words. But I think they resonate on their own. The movie screenplay, and prior stage play, were written by the distinguished playwright Robert E. Sherwood. For which he won a Pulitzer Prize for literature.

    Yes, the coronavirus will pass, too. As wars and other calamities have done. But at what wasteful cost? That could have been avoided or lessened.