Can Two Bottoms have a good relationship?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1860

    Jun 03, 2020 5:04 PM GMT
    I've been thinking about this quite a bit after reading a few posts about how some guys seem to have bad luck in finding tops in their area. And I got to wondering if two bottoms could actually have a good relationship.

    ▶ Now speaking for myself, I'm a "side", I'm not interested in topping or bottoming. Obviously that can make dating a minefield since most gay men I've come across in my experience are into anal sex but it's just not something I'm into. But to a bottom, I'd most likely just come off as another bottom since I especially have no interest in topping but lately I've been thinking about what if I were in a relationship with another bottom?

    ▶ See for me, I feel that if I were dating another guy who preferred anal stimulation, I would have no problem doing things like rimming and using toys on him. Like in my head, I can picture myself just using dildos as requested for my mate and even getting one of those fancy ones that can ejaculate and all that or even using a double-ended one as well (Sorry, I know it's TMI and I'm normally not this graphic but I just gotta be descriptive here lol). And honestly, while I would prefer monogamy, I feel like in a situation like that, perhaps non-monogamy would be the way to go so I would just let him bottom for another guy if he just really needed it.

    ▶ The reason I started thinking about this is because I noticed that whenever I would be scrolling through gay profiles on Grindr, Scruff, etc. I noticed that whenever I would read their descriptions and would see them labeled as "bottom", I would just click off their page, not because I found the guy unattractive or anything like that but subconsciously I just feel too afraid to even attempt to message because I'm not a top. But lately I've just been thinking that maybe in some weird way, two bottoms could satisfy each other in other ways even if both parties have no interest in topping one another and maybe another bottom would know the right tricks to satisfy the other bottom via toys, fingers, and rimming. Just a theory anyway lol.

    But I was just curious what others think. If you're a bottom, would you be open or be interested in dating another guy who was a bottom or a "side" who would have no problem using toys and rimming for you (and possibly open relationship) or do you feel that you really do need the real thing sortaspeak to be sexually satisfied?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 5263

    Jun 03, 2020 7:51 PM GMT
    I'm both top and bottom. That does not mean I'm vers. It means that with any given guy, I find the desire to be top or bottom but seldom both. While I like the concept that all is possible if two guys love each other, I'll confess that I find anal intercourse to be pretty important, and not just for the physical thrills. I find it especially so after the initial rush of crazy mad desire subsides a bit. It becomes a bonding thing, a love-making gesture, a connection (both literally and figuratively) that essentially renews our commitment, reaffirms our love, says "You're my guy." (Our pet phrase.) But that's just me, or us. If you're lucky enough to find some guy who doesn't miss it in the high energy phase, maybe he'll never need it, but it certainly could complicate things. I do believe love is possible without anal, but it just narrows the pool by a lot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2020 8:03 PM GMT
    There are lots of gay men out there who do not engage in anal sex - primarily just oral. You should find one. Some guys on the hookup sites might list themselves as top or bottom, when the categorization is not a fundamental part of their existence. So, on those sites, you might just have to inquire.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1860

    Jun 05, 2020 1:37 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidThere are lots of gay men out there who do not engage in anal sex - primarily just oral. You should find one. Some guys on the hookup sites might list themselves as top or bottom, when the categorization is not a fundamental part of their existence. So, on those sites, you might just have to inquire.


    Hmm I see. I guess you just have to ask around then. I'd like to hope I could luck out and find a guy who didn't care all that much about penetrative intercourse. But yeah, I'll keep that in mind, thanks.