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i dont want to be in love...

  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 28, 2009 1:39 PM GMT
    Hey,

    I have a problem. I think Im in love with this guy whos in my class. Hes kinda hot but hes very straight. He doesnt know I'm gay. I know it will never work out but I still want him to find me cool and give me attention.
    Its a 2 week holiday now and I wont see him but I keep on thinking about him all the time. And i dont want that. Do u have any tips on how to ban him out of my head.

    I get the feeling im getting obsessed, probably exagerating now but I just dont want to think about him anymore. Help me! icon_razz.gif

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    Mar 28, 2009 3:07 PM GMT
    Ah to be in love; "the hardest part is when you're in it":

    [url][/url]


    "That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else". Jim Baker (Dad) to Samantha Baker (Daughter), from Sixteen Candles
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    This story sounds like this pathetic crush I had on some straight guy in college. I wallowed in it for over a year, and it gave me lots of opportunities to feel doomed and tragic. What a waste of a whole year that I could have spent actually dating real people.
    Don't indulge yourself in this. Whatever dramatic value you are finding in it isn't worth the mental energy being expended. The best antidote for a hopeless fantasy relationship is finding a real one.
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  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 28, 2009 3:28 PM GMT
    yeh, it just really sux cause i cant focus on other things anymore, very annoying :S
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:30 PM GMT
    Niceguy1989 saidHey,

    I have a problem. I think Im in love with this guy whos in my class. Hes kinda hot but hes very straight. He doesnt know I'm gay. I know it will never work out but I still want him to find me cool and give me attention.
    Its a 2 week holiday now and I wont see him but I keep on thinking about him all the time. And i dont want that. Do u have any tips on how to ban him out of my head.

    I get the feeling im getting obsessed, probably exagerating now but I just dont want to think about him anymore. Help me! icon_razz.gif

    try to get busy with some other staffs, social activities, intellctual activities, reading, web-surfing about the things you are interested in. i felt much stronger things for somebody but now i cooled off. OUT OF SİGHT, OUT OF MİND. mine has cooled off even i didnt want it to. if you want to get rid of it, you will. dont worry.
    and in my opinion , if you were really in love, you woulnt want to get away from it. because falling in love is the only disaster which you cant wish not happen to you.when it happen to you.
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    yeah dude, same thing happened to me senior year of high school. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my head when I woke up and when I fell asleep. It brought me to tears for the first time in eight years. It's brutal. I think the key to getting through it is to just let it runs its course, and know that there will come a time when you WILL have moved on.
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:33 PM GMT


    Hey Niceguy1989,

    It's not really being in love, you know.
    Here: imagine for a second that he feels the same way you do, and you've told each other.
    Floating yet?
    ......now that's being in love.

    What you are is very very attracted. Don't confuse this feeling with real love.


    -us

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  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Mar 28, 2009 3:39 PM GMT
    well in that case i dont want to be really attracted to him icon_razz.gif

    I still have to have class with him for the next 10 weeks....

    And then sometimes he wears t-shirts and u can see his whole muscular body... its terrible icon_razz.gif... he shouldnt do that! icon_wink.gif

    ah well, it'll be fine i guess
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    Yes, this isn't love - it's un-tamed attraction and lust.

    However, the only sure way to get a guy out of your head is to find another guy to lust after or have something even more meaningful with. Other options: Do something, anything, to stay busy. Just find something else to put your focus on and when you go to your dream-place that gets you hard, look at some porn or focus on another thought and eventually he'll just be a random hot guy.
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    The best way to forget an old love is with a new love. If he's straight, look elsewhere; this has no future, and potential risks.
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    Mar 28, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Trust me...it's really really not worth all the PAIN it's gonna coz u. U'll be left devastated if u go on like this. Like everyone said, keep your mind busy with sumthing else.....i know it's easier said than done, but u have to try it. For your own sake.

    I've been there 4 times, where u are..... and am currently trying to get out of it.... it's this guy in my office.

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    Mar 28, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    I've done the same. Had a crush on a guy for about 3 years, and it was the biggest waste of my time I've ever indulged in. It didn't help much that I hadn't come out, and hadn't fully accepted that I was gay at the time. Boy was I a mess, haha.

    It all stopped when I found another guy to be attracted to. Remember, there's always someone hotter out there.

    Fast forward about 7 years. My best friend is straight, and I had a crush on him when I first met him. He always let me flirt with him, and for about the first month I didn't know he was straight. (What can I say? He's a really open-minded guy, it's just not his bag.) I still flirt with him jokingly, and sometimes he'll flirt back jokingly. We both know it would never go anywhere (at this point, even if he came out as gay, he's my best friend... it would be too weird), and as long as both of us understand that, we are able to hang out and have a great friendship. Who knows? This guy could turn out to be a good friend, as long as you know he'll never love the cock like we do. So don't necessarily write him off immediately, unless you're sure you wouldn't be able to see him in any other light than a potential boyfriend. If you're not willing to see him as just another hot straight guy, I don't think it's gonna work.
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    Mar 28, 2009 4:08 PM GMT


    You'll be very OK Niceguy1989, remember to temper your feelings with the idea that it's what the guy does that determines whether it's worth your time, energy and feelings.


    Here's something worth considering...


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    Mar 28, 2009 4:12 PM GMT
    Love hurts. That's how you know. Trust me, I just got done feeling the same way. I thought about this guy day and night. Couldn't eat, sleep...I just was completely devastated when he quit talking to me. Does it hurt? If no, then it's not love.
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    Mar 28, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    gayblaketx saidLove hurts. That's how you know. Trust me, I just got done feeling the same way. I thought about this guy day and night. Couldn't eat, sleep...I just was completely devastated when he quit talking to me. Does it hurt? If no, then it's not love.
    TRUE.
    LUST POURS CUM. LOVE POURS TEARS. THAT' MY SAY
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    Mar 28, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    Sounds to me as if you are adoring and crushing on the guy from afar. As long as you don't interact he's the perfect object of desire. He doesn't talk back, doesn't have bad breath, doesn't disappoint you, isn't a boor etc.
    You are in a no-win situation until you start engaging him. If you have the same classes you have stuff to talk about that doesn't come across as a come-on. Maybe he'll be your boyfriend, maybe you guys become friends, maybe he's an arrogant prick and you're glad he'll be out of your life in 10 weeks. You will never find out until you make a move.
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  • Cdnontherun

    Posts: 72

    Mar 28, 2009 4:47 PM GMT
    I’m going to take a radical approach here so…hang on. Why not instead of fighting this, you just enjoy the fact that you are in love with someone. Personally, I really like the way I feel when someone stirs something in me and I don’t need the feelings to be shared for me to enjoy the ride. If it is with someone who could share my feelings, great! I can make a move. However, if it isn’t …he’s too young, straight, whatever; I just enjoy the feeling and keep my head screwed on. You can even use this time to see what qualities this person has that you might want to find in a boyfriend with whom you have a chance of building something real. Just be thankful that you can have those feelings. icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 28, 2009 4:48 PM GMT
    My advice to you, is to start drinking heavily. You should listen to me...I was Pre-Med.
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    As some others have stated, you are not in love. Infatuation with straight guys is really easy because you are in no danger of having that feeling reciprocated. If you find yourself falling in lust with straight guys frequently, it could be a sign of some bigger issue.

    Get over this guy, and do that by getting into some other guy. Quite literally too.
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    Mar 28, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    you are not in love, you are infatuated with him. i was infatuated before and it is notttttttttt a good thing.... i would try talking to him more and find out really if hes straight or not so u can move on.
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    Mar 28, 2009 6:20 PM GMT
    By denying yourself you only make it worse.. icon_lol.gif



    Go find yourself some real love
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    Mar 28, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    Niceguy1989 saidyeh, it just really sux cause i cant focus on other things anymore, very annoying :S



    there are many hot guys out there...Amazing how fast you will forget your unattainable crush when you find a new one that you can do something about
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    Mar 28, 2009 8:49 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidThis story sounds like this pathetic crush I had on some straight guy in college. I wallowed in it for over a year, and it gave me lots of opportunities to feel doomed and tragic. What a waste of a whole year that I could have spent actually dating real people.
    Don't indulge yourself in this. Whatever dramatic value you are finding in it isn't worth the mental energy being expended. The best antidote for a hopeless fantasy relationship is finding a real one.


    It's only a "pathetic" crush if you let it be. Don't let your preconceived notion of his identity prevent you from getting to know this guy as a friend.
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    Mar 28, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    Fall from a haystack
    fall from above
    fall from anywhere
    but never fall in love!

    Why?

    Love hurts the most!
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    Mar 29, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    Having "been around a bend or two" I know just how you feel. God it hurts, but on the other hand, just talking to this object of your attention is so great, you just want to repeat it again and again in hopes of something more. But don't torture yourself. find a guy you know to be gay with real possibilities for yourself. Having been in this situation, then going on to someone else and later learned what was up with my crush. One guy was attracted to me at the same time but neither of us had the courage to learn the truth, another was bi, and we had sex several times, but it ended in hard feelings because he wasn't about to settle for gay sex only, he ended up turning on me and anyone else that was gay, yet another married but wanted to play on the side and that wasn't a good option. You never know about the guy whether he is really straight or not, but in my experience the head games just aren't worth going through. Save yourself the trouble because even if your attraction is like mine has turned out to be (a sixth sense of something there with the guy and was right when the facts came out) in the end it always turned out leading to nowhere. You will find someone !!!!
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