WAIT! is being a slut a bad thing ???

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  Mar 28, 2009 7:30 PM GMT

  Now I want you to look inside your heads before you repeat what what culture and society say..
  
  You are young and handsome.. You have your whole life to be a nun. How about to use these few years of youth just to enjoy yourself, meet guys and have sex with who ever you want??..
  
  Life is full of crimes and "sins", and you think you're gonna be a good citizen just because you prevent yourself from playing around, enjoy and spread joy ?? just because you spent the last 3 month jerking off instead of meeting guys people will love you? will you bring peace to the world if you restrain yourself and live in turture?..
  Remember that sex is a private thing, you do it with another person just to.... well.. respond to the way of nature, enjoy what nature tought you .. it doesn't harm anybody and anything ( it doesn't affect global warming either, trust me).
  
  So stop listening to the bitter people who want you to be miserable like them. Go look at the mirror, take a pile of condoms and run out of the door freely, go chase him (them).. and enjoy your life as much as you can cause these days will not come back again..
  
  Proudly a slut:
  GHoSTic

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  Mar 28, 2009 8:04 PM GMT

  
  Were you a student of mine before? I knew you look kind of familiar...

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  Mar 28, 2009 8:21 PM GMT

  ZiMsTeR said
  Were you a student of mine before? I knew you look kind of familiar...

  
  
  LOL .. zim .. how about you? wanna confess ???
  
  EDIT : Actually, there is no need to ..

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  Mar 28, 2009 8:48 PM GMT

  yawn.
  
  /failthread

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  Mar 28, 2009 8:51 PM GMT

  I'm not sure if this anecdotal story fits into this thread (and when did that ever stop me before?), but here goes:
  
  When I came out gay at 45, I suddenly found myself incredibly horny for the first time in my life. The sexual phase I had missed as a teenager who'd been in denial suddenly hit me like an avalanche.
  
  I realized exactly what was happening to me, thank gawd better late than never, but also understanding that I was near the end of the line in gay terms, over-the-hill, being at least 150 in gay years and all that. I was way past my gay prime, but I figured I might be able to squeak by with another 10 years, until I was about 55, before I'd have to throw in the towel. That's exactly what happened.
  
  So for 10 years I was a gay slut, having a wonderful time, especially my first 12 months after coming out. I blazed a path through gay Seattle, and later South Florida, that I still think may have set some records. There was a partner in the middle there for 2 years, but then I went right back to sluthood.
  
  I LOVE being a slut, and make no apologies. I also love having a partner, when a partner will have me. For me, single and slut are equivalent terms for the gay man. Married and monogamous should also be equivalent terms. And I can switch back & forth between them with no effort. So that being a gay slut is not a bad thing, but a normal thing, and I salute those single gay guys who get to be sluts, their practicing safe sex being understood.

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  Mar 28, 2009 9:08 PM GMT

  
  I'm happy that someone who is experienced in life agree with me !
  
  

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  Mar 28, 2009 10:54 PM GMT

  Just be smart, consensual, and safe about it, folks.

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  Mar 28, 2009 11:13 PM GMT

  who cares what others think.. but just an FYI.. I like to be called a whore.. not a slut.. far more classy

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  Mar 28, 2009 11:19 PM GMT

  I wish I'd been a slut.

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  Mar 28, 2009 11:48 PM GMT

  If I had been a slut, I would be dead cuz my first years after coming out were the beginning of the AIDS epidemic.
  
  Three things kept me alive...
  
  1) I was in Gainesville, FL for grad school....so out of the gay main stream
  
  2) When I moved back to the DC area, I worked evenings, so that kept me out of the bars during the week and nobody wanted to date somebody who worked evenings
  
  3) I am not anally-oriented. I am a cocksucker par excellence. I know my craft. I know what I am good at. I stick to it.
  
  The Washington Blade used to have pages of obituaries. First, thing you would do when you went into a bar was get a copy of the Blade and see if you knew any of those who died that week.

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  Mar 29, 2009 1:42 AM GMT

  But are you only a slut if you are a bottom and a stud if you are a top?
  
  I remember my slut years. I had a roommate that we would compare how many people in a week we slept with. I would win for most during a day and he would usually win with most during the week.

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  Mar 29, 2009 1:45 AM GMT

  lilTanker saidwho cares what others think.. but just an FYI.. I like to be called a whore.. not a slut.. far more classy

  
  
  Thank you lilThanker, who cares about other people's judgment??
  
  For me, I'm not a slut, I'm a lover.

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  Mar 29, 2009 1:46 AM GMT

  I haven't gone through a slut phase....
  
  ... yet.
  
  (I'm not ruling it out, I am FAR too aware of my personality to say with any certainty that I would never become slutty)
  
  

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  Mar 29, 2009 1:54 AM GMT

  I think it's also a gay-culture thing. If a straight guy has a lot of sex, he's called a "stud".

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  Mar 29, 2009 1:57 AM GMT

  I just post a topic on Group Sex. Yes, last Friday I have sex with 5 guys in in a Gay Club in Singapore. It was all dark I cant even see his face .Dont worry I put condom on it , before giving bj. No anal (for me at least), plenty of mastubation , nipple sucking and body worshipping.
  
  I am not a slut , I am a filthy whore.

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:03 AM GMT

  NakedDevil saidI think it's also a gay-culture thing. If a straight guy has a lot of sex, he's called a "stud".

  
  
  
  yea basically... its not that GAY guys are sluts, its that GUYS are sluts... sadly for them, they have to to deal with the female in order to actually get all the action that they really want

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:08 AM GMT

  i've mixed opinions on this topic. I tend to go through a slut phase, then realize i should tone it down and be good, but then i relapse and then repeat.
  
  Right now i'm being a good boy, its been a month since i had sex, and i'm only being 'good' because i want to see where things go with a friend of mine. While being good, i've turned down some really hot guys so i'm just going to be patient and see what happens.
  
  but lord when i'm being slutty, it can get pretty interesting, got some lovely stories. I should make a sex-capade book

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:16 AM GMT

  
  No, but the rest of us are too prim and proper to be one so we call it a bad thing. Seriously, all the sex they have for starters, keeps it from being bad.
  Personally, I wouldn't do it because as much time as they spend in bed with people, they often spend the bulk of their time alone.

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:20 AM GMT

  zsocerstar saidi've mixed opinions on this topic. I tend to go through a slut phase, then realize i should tone it down and be good, but then i relapse and then repeat.

  I think you took the shampoo instructions to seriously

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:23 AM GMT

  I think and fantasize about being a whore all the time, but something holds me back and I usually ignore guys who want to have sex with me.

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:28 AM GMT

  In Spain, there really is no word for slut. Conceptually, we don't have it the same way as in the US. There is whore, but that is more someone who does it for money or something. And there is bitch (zorra) but that also does not have the same connotation.
  
  At least here there is no way of conveying the same meaning. I have thought about it, as the reality is consistent. For instance, everyone assumes everyone is having lots of sex. There is nothing wrong with that, no one assumes that you are innocent. That would be strange. What makes someone a bitch or whore or whatever is if they treat people badly. That is also subjective. Culturally, there is not a word for stud either.
  
  This is my experience, I know that others may have other stories to tell.
  
  
  
  
  

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:28 AM GMT

  I don't see a problem with it.
  
  
  It only bothers me when someone pretends they're interested in a relationship in order to get sex. The whole lying thing bothers me, and then I feel used.

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:34 AM GMT

  mcwclewis saidI don't see a problem with it.
  
  
  It only bothers me when someone pretends they're interested in a relationship in order to get sex. The whole lying thing bothers me, and then I feel used.

  
  
  
  It happens quite often and makes it hard to trust anyone.

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  Mar 29, 2009 2:54 AM GMT

  Well my introduction in to the gay community was working at a gay bathhouse. I got to service a big proportion of the gay community back then. I had such a fucking good time. Being a young bloke from a farm, with a big chest and shoulders, never been to a gym at this time. Made a big difference too. Gosh at a club all I had to do was dance without a shirt on, and they come to me, they always come to me.
  
  But then AIDS come along, and the party ended. I went back home to the bush, worked as a lumberjack, for a number of years before I returned back to the city. I never embraced the gay community again, as I did in my 20s.
  
  I met my first husband while in Melbourne flat hunting. So i was already in a relationship before my move to the City.
  
  You know by not having anything to do with the gay community, other than you guys/people here at RJ. Because I had such a fucking good time in my 20s. I know I'm not missing out on being out there slutting around.
  
  It has so much to do with me being grounded, and contented now.
  
  I also got to have such a fucking good time in my 20s, when so many got infected. I got to walk away from it all uninfected,but defiantly effected.
  
  Once your youth is gone it's gone. Middle age starts in your early 40s.

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  Mar 29, 2009 3:07 AM GMT

  
  It's a judgement call. I'm being intentionally equivocal about that statement too.
  
  Many guys like to pass judgment on others. Seemingly believeing that thier own views on sex and relationships are the correct and moral perspective. Those who only seek LTRs think that sex for fun is somehow bad, whereas those who'd prefer to be alone think that a monogamous relationship is nothing but a meaningless construct.
  
  I do agree with mcwclewis that it's wrong to lie about one to get the other (regardless of which direction your going in.) It's like the ideas about open vs. closed relationships. Neither is 'more correct' or 'more moral' than the other. It is simply a matter of making sure that the person your with (for the night or for life) is on the same page as you.
  
  People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Whether it's prude or slut, doesn't matter. Enjoy the choices that your comfortable making.

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